Conflicted on how to pursue a friend

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So I am in a weird way. I was best friends with this guy, R, for a couple of years. I spent 99% of my days hanging out over at his place. About 2 weeks ago he moved out of state, and broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years because he didnt want a long term relationship. Or whatever. Point is that the day he leaves an ex of R's posts pictures of him with her that spring break – we thought he was out with his family. So his girlfriend, K, is mad at him and basically said 'I am done with you' because of this. Which is fairly understandable. She seems to be as over it as she can be - I know it seems weird, but given the circumstance is makes sense that shes recovered so fast. (funny thing? He isnt moving anywhere near where the ex he apparently cheated on K with is)

All the while I knew K was very attractive (Im not blind..) but I did what I could to keep them together and happy, by saying things that I knew one needed to hear based off of things the other had told me in confidence, etc. Even though R is the sort of person who has everything come naturally to him and never wants for anything (and Ive felt a soul crushing loneliness most of my life), it would have been extremely unethical for me to have leveraged my position to his disadvantage. So I didnt, but now K is single.

K and I have been hanging out a lot more. I feel for her in a way Ive only ever felt about one other person. I dont know what love is, but theres a lot of emotions knotted up in me and one of them could be it. Maybe; point is I care for her. I think she likes me too. But I dont think she has any intention of being interested in me, even in the theoretical sense. All my friends, hell even my mother, ask me if theres a chance of something between us.

She moves out of state in 2.5 weeks and I still feel that soul crushing loneliness. Ive been ignoring it and focusing on having no pre-planned mental picture of how the future will unfold – of no expectations. Thats basically pseudo impossible though, and I feel conflicted. In the morning I know she will reciprocate my advances, and in the evening I am certain I am just setting myself up for loosing a friend, with nothing to show for it but pain. Ive offered her a place in one of my house's spare rooms (its a big 3 bedroom that I have to myself) but she turned me down – she has college plans and a job interview preplanned.

I am trying to decide if I should blatantly ask her out on a date (and call it as such – we do many 1on1 date-like activities but I highly doubt she views them as dates), if I should ask her if shed be interested in dating me if situation was different, if I should just kiss her, if I should do any of these things once we are nearly done with a bottle of Amaretto... I dont know. I want to be with someone so desperately [specifically: I want reciprocation of affection, a sense of openness, and to have someone to comfort; to show the empathetic side of me that is so f*****g difficult to express], and I know firsthand how disastrous that want is, but at the same time I feel that if I dont do something now I really wont ever have a chance with her. And, still, I do feel something for her.

Oh, and if you have concern about my loyalties to R, my conscious is spotless. Indeed, I realize now that by trying to be 'too good' of a friend I exacerbated negative aspects in his personality (that are invisible up close, but stunning in retrospective) and prolonged a relationship that shouldve been put to rest years ago – and thats his words to her.

What should I do? I am nearly resolved on doing something, soon, but I am not sure what or how. I know she likes me, but could she ever see me like that?

Women on the rebound... not exactly the best idea... Just as you wouldn't try to get with someone who is grieving... it's the same kind of loss, really, except that the other person isn't even dead...

Bottom line is though... don't do it... at least give it a good few months...

She is moving in 2.5 weeks.

She isnt grieving - shes over that. That may sound suspect, but trust me on that. She is a very special sort of type A, who goes and gets her grieving and anger out in a short time period, then quickly reaches acceptance and moves on with her life.

Well if she can get over it quickly, then it should be fine...

but you say she's moving in 2.5 weeks? It's not fair for either of you if you try to hook up with her now...

Im not trying to 'hook up' with her. If 'hooking up' with somebody was wanted, and if I could stomach it, I would just go to a bar night after night until I got someone to bite.

No, I want a relationship with her. It can be a light one, I am flexible in such matters. Plus, I see no need for it to end when she moves away - I am polyarmorous (but dont mind behaving monogamously if my partner desires it) and would have no problem with a long distance relationship. I just dont see such a relationship evolving after she moves away.

(On the note of polyamory: I consider it unethical of me to dictate who my partner can and can not love - consider this: you are married for a number of years but your spouse dies. After a period of mourning, you meet someone else and fall in love again. This is accepted - you have had two loves. Consider if you had met the second before your spouse had died - are you expected to simply not love her? To not show her? I trust my friends, and if they feel compelled to pursue other relationships while we are together it really does not bother me. What about people who would abuse such privilege? Simple - I do not date them.)

Don't rush things just because she's leaving in 2.5 weeks. It'd be better to leave as friends and then be penpals, than have a rushed awkward relationship that straggles on indefinitely. Also, what if she turns around and says she's not interested in you?