Is it true that Seduction stuff doesn't work with aspies?

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kyle123
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08 Jul 2009, 8:01 pm

sharlyn wrote:
It doesn't matter what you do. Just being yourself is seductive enough to the right person.


amen! :twisted:



Observer20
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10 Jul 2009, 3:27 pm

While good in theory, a lot of that PUA/seduction stuff, is all a scam. I wouldn't be surprised if most of those "experts" are virgins themselves. Really, Its just another way for some grifter to make money off of someone else.



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10 Jul 2009, 4:36 pm

We are usually very hypervigilant, paranoid and sceptical of people. I think that's why it doesn't work on us.



BurningMoose
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10 Jul 2009, 10:30 pm

Observer20 wrote:
While good in theory, a lot of that PUA/seduction stuff, is all a scam. I wouldn't be surprised if most of those "experts" are virgins themselves. Really, Its just another way for some grifter to make money off of someone else.


I get the feeling you have never tried any of it, or if you have, not had success with it. If this is the case, I do not think you really have the right to say it's all a scam. To a large degree yes, there are a lot of gurus out there who are in it for the money and who manipulate a lot of desperate dudes into forking over large sums of cash for some short and very weird lessons that may or may not work. I would actually go so far as to say it's far better in practice than in theory, because the theories sound ridiculous a lot of the time. But it DOES work, not on every woman, but on a whole lot of them.



bdhkhsfgk
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12 Jul 2009, 2:10 pm

Seduction always works for me :P



CJBinks
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12 Jul 2009, 3:53 pm

Dunno. No one ever tried to seduce me.

That I know of...

As far as my powers of seduction, well...

Non-existent comes to mind. But that greatly soft-peddles the reality. It is like looking at the surface of the Sun and calling it "sort of warm".



Pascal
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13 Jul 2009, 5:12 am

My brain tends to be the most powerful erogenous zone on my body. However, trying to stimulate it with the tip of your tongue may be unpleasant , girls, I have lots of hair :afro:


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Jamie8675309
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29 Nov 2010, 6:33 pm

BurningMoose wrote:
I'm seeing a lot of women here saying "seduction wouldn't work on me because I wouldn't realize the guy was trying to seduce me." Ladies, you would NEVER realize a player was seducing you--that's kind of the point. You would be thinking, "wow, this guy is funny, exciting, and there's just SOMETHING ABOUT HIM--I don't know what exactly--that makes me want to get to know him better." The word "seduction" or the phrase "he's hitting on me" would NEVER enter your mind (if he was doing it correctly). As far as "whether seduction stuff works" for aspies, the answer is : some of it will, some of it won't. There are literally hundreds of systems available, some of which focus on the creepy (I think) "cold" pickup, which is when a guy dresses like a flaming idiot and runs lines and routines on women to get them into bed (this only works with drunk and/or promiscuous women--but it DOES work with them!). These guys spend years memorizing material directly out of other peoples' books, and is showcased on the VH1 show "the Pickup Artist." THESE are the ones who can and do turn into "social robots" who eventually lose the ability to make real friends, male or female.

As a member of the Community, I can tell you that there ARE systems and guidebooks out there that have much more to do with cultivating attractive qualities in yourself to maximize your chances which absolutely can help men with AS. There are books for shy, kind people that do not require you to buy the clothes of a poor rockstar /drag queen, do not require you to memorize lines, and can teach you how to feel better about who you really are and display your positive qualities--nothing like the false confidence that comes from picking up women with a bunch of memorized scripts. I've read / experimented with a lot of stuff, and for those guys who want to increase their chances without turning into woman-destroying creeps like Mystery's followers, I would recommend the following books above all else:

Double your Dating, by David DeAngelo
Juggler Method, by Juggler (Wayne Elise)
Without Fear: The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Guide to Seduction, by Mike Pilinski.

The last one in particular, Without Fear, is PERFECT for men who do not wish to go out and sleep with random whores every weekend, but are simply looking to develop the qualities which make him a High Status Male--thereby making him attractive to women. It's more about kindness and gentleness than "not taking sh** from people," trying to look like a badass, or any of that other phony stuff. Best of all, there is no need for clubs or bars to utilize Mike P's teachings--it's simply about how to recognize what women do when they're interested, how to respond in order to show you're interested back, and take it from there. Cold Pickup and Mystery Method are about pretending you don't like a women in order to keep her "hooked." It's great for drunken women with daddy issues and no self-esteem. Without Fear and Double Your Dating are more about relationships with high self-esteem, intelligent, and self-aware females...you know, the kind you actually want in your life in the first place!


Coincedentally i''ve just started reading Without Fear, a freind found it through a recommendation on a love shyness site or sumthing by chance and was really impressed by it. I'm barely a quartar of the way into it but it alrady seems like an incredibly valuable resource for developing relationship skills. Burning Moose sums up the content in a nutshell.



RICKY5
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29 Nov 2010, 7:08 pm

The principles of game are rather valid but the nonverbal methods involved are heavily reliant on body language and voice tone (two AS weaknesses) and the verbal methods revolve around tapping the emotional sides of women (another AS weakness).

The routines are handy if you need something to talk about with a girl.

Game practitioners also promote it as the be all end all. I practiced a lot with game and routines prior to losing my v-card to an escort. I never looked back since then because I found what I really liked and wanted and a more efficient method of getting it than "dating" and running game.



CaroleTucson
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01 Dec 2010, 3:50 pm

This whole concept of "seduction" doesn't sit well with me because to me it implies that a guy thinks he can get me into bed when I don't really want to, by manipulating my emotions somehow. Which is ridiculous because I have never in my life had sex with someone where I didn't want to. So I don't get it.

I have usually already decided I'm going to bed with a man long before he knows it. That's assuming he wants to, of course. Not all do. Or at least, not all make the attempt. I never initiate sex myself until I've dated the person for a while and am totally comfortable with them.