Does anyone else feel that "human contact" is not needed?

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rick42
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18 Oct 2018, 3:08 am

Personally,as someone who never had a true friend or a girlfriend(been rejected so many times by women,regardless if they're NT or a Aspie).The fact that my Parents and Siblings never seemed to truly appreciate me when I contacted them(I haven't contact any of my family members for around a year now),I feel that it's a myth that everyone needs human contact.After getting rejected so many times over the years,I have been feeling better that I decided to not even bother trying to befriend anyone or even have conversations with people at all anymore(unless I absolutely have to for strictly work related reasons at my job ).I feel that every time someone(particularly NT's)is trying to be friendly towards me,I feel like they're faking it.Does anyone feel like human contact is not needed?



CyclopsSummers
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18 Oct 2018, 3:22 am

It seems that, whenever I try to interact with other people, they are put off by my general awkwardness, and prefer to avoid me. I, too, have grown estranged from my relatives, with whom I was once quite close. Anyone who's ever called themselves my friend has left and was unavailable in my times of need. I limit human contact to work and doing groceries.

I'm thinking of adopting a couple of cats. Animals are unassuming and non-prejudiced. I much prefer their company.


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Prometheus18
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19 Oct 2018, 2:57 pm

I feel this way. The only social contact I get is from my daily visits to the coffee shop, and that's still too much.



bellapines
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24 Oct 2018, 11:02 am

Definitely. I seek out human contact roughly about twice a year and end up regretting it every time. Unfortunately I have to work in an office and exist amongst NTs and hate it. I would be perfectly happy without any human contact whatsoever, I find it draining. I also hate how NTs try to "help us" and parents of aspies try to "help them" get friends because it's so very necessary. Except it's not.


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Muziek
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24 Oct 2018, 3:28 pm

Quote:
Does anyone else feel that "human contact" is not needed?


I could be perfectly happy living on a planet without any human beings. 8)


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stevens2010
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24 Oct 2018, 4:39 pm

bellapines wrote:
Definitely. I seek out human contact roughly about twice a year and end up regretting it every time. Unfortunately I have to work in an office and exist amongst NTs and hate it. I would be perfectly happy without any human contact whatsoever, I find it draining. I also hate how NTs try to "help us" and parents of aspies try to "help them" get friends because it's so very necessary. Except it's not.


Like many of you it often leads to regret for me too. In a lot of ways I wish that I didn't have any desire whatsoever for it, but this isn't the case. I do like my alone time, but I get tired of talking to myself. It seems odd that I've always had a "special interest" in technology (electrical engineering, electronics, etc.) and even made a living from that, but I never was able to attract an aspie friend with similar interests, which would have been great.

I have to totally agree with you that it is a complete waste of time for aspies in general to engage in these campaigns of self-improvement projects to "fix" their inability to make friends with people, as it leads to serially repeated failure, remorse, and sometimes serious mental depression. That's about all I know.



shortfatbalduglyman
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27 Oct 2018, 8:24 pm

i would be more happy living on a planet without humans, than with humans.

however, i would not be "perfectly happy".

sometimes crave "human contact". but that is like craving Twix. it is something that is not "needed". just a desire and addiction.



Edna3362
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29 Oct 2018, 8:48 am

Yes. :lol: On a deeper level too.


I found out that I'm actually the type who had little need for socialization and relationship.

I'm not 'aloof' because I was 'wronged', 'rejected', 'awkward', 'too introverted', 'had to get ahead', 'too left behind', or end up in 'bitterness' towards people for being different. I found out the difference quite as recent as 3 years ago.

Seriously, I'm very fulfilled myself. I easily get 'full', thus I don't crave or seek human contact. I never felt desperate for it. Never found myself looking for it.
It's not like my socialization limit is too small for constant interaction either, nor am I easily drained. But I do have and know my own limit.

Not even my most social self felt loneliness nor crave attention. Only boredom and would likely do any obligations of social interaction as an entertainment than a want or desire, nor a need or a must.

Not even when I truly felt alone and cut off from others, but I never felt lonely nor long to have others back.
At worst I felt guilt at leaving them, but I get over things quickly and don't feel all that bad if someone leaves me instead.
All the same, sure, I do miss some. But all the same don't sought them back unless that was someone else's wish or for accomplishment's sake. The 'happiness' out of those exchanges and relations is just a bonus.


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MarryKate
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29 Oct 2018, 3:27 pm

Yes I find interacting with people exhausting. It’s too hard to pretend to be normal all the time to make them feeling comfortable to make sure I make eye contact and don’t look like a total b***h.



Kiprobalhato
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29 Oct 2018, 3:29 pm

i need human contact.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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29 Oct 2018, 8:23 pm

"need" human contact for what purpose?

Self actualization and happiness, yes

Counseling, maybe

Job skills , yes

Everything else, not particularly

:D

Better too little human contact, than too much



Mona Pereth
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06 Nov 2018, 1:25 am

stevens2010 wrote:
Like many of you it often leads to regret for me too. In a lot of ways I wish that I didn't have any desire whatsoever for it, but this isn't the case. I do like my alone time, but I get tired of talking to myself. It seems odd that I've always had a "special interest" in technology (electrical engineering, electronics, etc.) and even made a living from that, but I never was able to attract an aspie friend with similar interests, which would have been great.

I have to totally agree with you that it is a complete waste of time for aspies in general to engage in these campaigns of self-improvement projects to "fix" their inability to make friends with people, as it leads to serially repeated failure, remorse, and sometimes serious mental depression. That's about all I know.


If you still do desire friends, I hope the autistic community can grow to the point where you can find some compatible Aspie friends near where you live.

As for "self-improvement projects," I partially agree with your skepticism toward them. Not every form of "self-improvement" works well for everyone. For example, anything involving trying to do normal-looking eye contact rhythms is not going to work well for me. On the other hand, I did benefit from the purely verbal aspects of "assertiveness" that I learned about from popular magazine articles in my twenties, and later from online stuff I read about "active listening."


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Lil_miss_lois
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06 Nov 2018, 1:32 am

Isn't everyone on this site because they need human contact?


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X24actor
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21 Nov 2018, 3:53 am

Everyone needs human contact. Humans are what makes society function. When you need something, there's usually a human on the other end making it happen. Without that, how would you buy toothpaste? Who do you call when your blender breaks? Would you even own a single pair of socks, without human contact? Even humans invented robots. If human contact is so unnecessary, should kids have to fend for themselves as soon as they're born? If humans didn't exist, who would be the audience for your online rants?

But in all seriousness, I know what you mean. Personally, when I cleaned up, dressed good, kept my hair tidy, my personal hygiene tolerable, and did the things I liked, I somehow began to attract people who really did need that human contact. And this was well after I gave up on seeking companionship, so I was still bitter, but I accepted it. Silly me with my Asperger's didn't understand, nor did I know how to build on a relationship. I was just paranoid about going noseblind!



DreamerDawn
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21 Nov 2018, 4:18 am

I need human contact, it keeps me sane and reminds me of one of the things I'm working towards.

I get human contact at work with my co-workers and also when I go shopping. I find it overwhelms me and tires me out but I think it's needed, even if we don't really like it.

But some days I'm so anxious I don't even say two words to anyone. Really awkward. Especially at work :(


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