15 Apr 2021, 12:32 am
15 Apr 2021, 2:39 pm
15 Apr 2021, 4:00 pm
AquaineBay wrote:
My point is that it takes more than being "different" for it to payoff. My question to you would be: what makes you different and how do you present that to others? Also what were you expecting to gain out of this difference? Many times in the threads where you mention you are different you mention the stuff other people do but don't mention anything that you do or how you expressed this difference when speaking to other people.
I would mention liking rock music and the responses were generally “That stuff is noise!”, “You need to stop listening to that! It’s Satanic!”, “Are you goth? You are a freak!”, “Are you a skater? You suck!”, and other nonsense. But them listening to mainstream rap that was usually about killing cops and “banging hoes” was considered ok. One guy even asked me why I liked songs that were “stupid” simply because of the musical content and another guy mocked the lyrics to a Tool song for saying “point that finger up your ass” despite how he liked rap songs that were 100% about “ass, tits, p****, etc.”
There was a time it was ok to like metalcore music. I liked Shadows Fall, Killswitch Engage, Lamb of God, God Forbid, and Unearth but it didn’t change the fact I was still sitting alone in my room despite how I tried to make friends with those who liked the same music. In some circles today, it’s ok to like “Fort Hood Metal” like Godsmack, Disturbed, Slipknot, Mudvayne, Sevendust, and Five Finger Death Punch. I was a fan of them all except for the last one and it didn’t change my social standing. I can’t listen to any of those bands today because I lost interest in them and my frustration didn’t help that.
I mentioned liking science fiction and would get mocked for it, even by other readers. I can’t get into the authors that are generally checked out at the library I work at which are James Patterson, Janet Evanovich, Lee Child, and Danielle Steel. I’ve read and enjoyed some Stephen King novels but he isn’t as popular as he used to be and even the people I know who like him have become bored with his output lately.
My stepfather still thinks video games are responsible for mass shootings and will vehemently oppose gun regulation but especially gun control. My mother still sometimes freaks out about video games even though I’ve never felt a compulsion to get a firearm and shoot someone. The “bro gamers” told me to stop playing Final Fantasy because it was “gay” and to play Hitman instead. I played Hitman 2: Silent Assassin briefly but found it more frustrating than enjoyable. I didn’t understand how to articulate my feelings but a part of me realized I didn’t like video games that reflect the real world and preferred games that take me out of it instead.
I knew guys who loved death metal, played in bands, mocked “Dubya”, watched gory movies, and played violent video games and they had scores of friends and girlfriends. But when I expressed what I liked, I got mocked at best and had people trying to exorcise or kill me at worst.
15 Apr 2021, 8:39 pm
15 Apr 2021, 9:41 pm
16 Apr 2021, 10:01 pm
18 Apr 2021, 1:14 am
18 Apr 2021, 1:43 am
18 Apr 2021, 3:28 pm
18 Apr 2021, 3:43 pm
18 Apr 2021, 5:30 pm
18 Apr 2021, 7:02 pm
18 Apr 2021, 7:17 pm
Edna3362 wrote:
'Pay off'?
Should you have a goal, if paying off is one of them, then focus there.
Even to a point of deepening yourself into self disastrous mental health issues because your goal is to 'pay off'.
But for your sake, please don't. It's not worth the gamble.
Unless you know what you're doing (prerequisites of knowing your local culture, certain levels of social skills, levels of self awareness, etc...)
Or that you know how lucky you are (how easily or evenly matched your environment along with your personal effects for one)...
Then being different does not pay off.
Based on what I observed, you're not in the right place to pull it off;
Evidently, you hate your place so much and your preferences are taboo-like to your place.
You're also not yet skilled enough to pull it off -- to get away with local taboos and the like requires a lot of skills.
Skills that regular social classes do not ever teach.
Should you have a goal, if paying off is one of them, then focus there.
Even to a point of deepening yourself into self disastrous mental health issues because your goal is to 'pay off'.
But for your sake, please don't. It's not worth the gamble.
Unless you know what you're doing (prerequisites of knowing your local culture, certain levels of social skills, levels of self awareness, etc...)
Or that you know how lucky you are (how easily or evenly matched your environment along with your personal effects for one)...
Then being different does not pay off.
Based on what I observed, you're not in the right place to pull it off;
Evidently, you hate your place so much and your preferences are taboo-like to your place.
You're also not yet skilled enough to pull it off -- to get away with local taboos and the like requires a lot of skills.
Skills that regular social classes do not ever teach.
There is no real social currency, societies keep trying to impose such things on us but none of that is real. You might get something out of employing the 'casual effect', just playing off your differences as completely normal regardless of how alien you feel. That's how I've gotten by as a long haired weirdo in big companies & tech work generally for quite some time.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
18 Apr 2021, 7:18 pm
I mean I totally identify with this, but I try not to take a materialistic view of my social status. I don't want to be a posessive person & even if it creates friction with people I want to be close to, I'll still put a word in for more equality.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
19 Apr 2021, 6:54 am
cberg wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
'Pay off'?
Should you have a goal, if paying off is one of them, then focus there.
Even to a point of deepening yourself into self disastrous mental health issues because your goal is to 'pay off'.
But for your sake, please don't. It's not worth the gamble.
Unless you know what you're doing (prerequisites of knowing your local culture, certain levels of social skills, levels of self awareness, etc...)
Or that you know how lucky you are (how easily or evenly matched your environment along with your personal effects for one)...
Then being different does not pay off.
Based on what I observed, you're not in the right place to pull it off;
Evidently, you hate your place so much and your preferences are taboo-like to your place.
You're also not yet skilled enough to pull it off -- to get away with local taboos and the like requires a lot of skills.
Skills that regular social classes do not ever teach.
Should you have a goal, if paying off is one of them, then focus there.
Even to a point of deepening yourself into self disastrous mental health issues because your goal is to 'pay off'.
But for your sake, please don't. It's not worth the gamble.
Unless you know what you're doing (prerequisites of knowing your local culture, certain levels of social skills, levels of self awareness, etc...)
Or that you know how lucky you are (how easily or evenly matched your environment along with your personal effects for one)...
Then being different does not pay off.
Based on what I observed, you're not in the right place to pull it off;
Evidently, you hate your place so much and your preferences are taboo-like to your place.
You're also not yet skilled enough to pull it off -- to get away with local taboos and the like requires a lot of skills.
Skills that regular social classes do not ever teach.
There is no real social currency, societies keep trying to impose such things on us but none of that is real. You might get something out of employing the 'casual effect', just playing off your differences as completely normal regardless of how alien you feel. That's how I've gotten by as a long haired weirdo in big companies & tech work generally for quite some time.
I'm very aware that none of it is real.
And there is no such thing as 'social currencies' -- unless one treats contacts and connections as such.
Where in reality everything is optional.
Yet one's mind says otherwise -- by being imposed to.
Personally, social statuses are but a side effects to me. Social relations are but consequences of interactions.
And never a goal or something I have to attain.
But that's not what the OP wants.
Nor what he thinks or perceives to be.Good luck convincing or educating him about the ideas of happiness, success or whatever 'pays off' meant.
19 Apr 2021, 7:32 pm
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