Male rideshare driver said he wanted to be "Friends"

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Summer_Twilight
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19 Jul 2021, 12:08 pm

First of all, I don't connect rideshare driver for anything other than expecting them to take me from point A to Point B.

Last Friday I ordered a Rideshare service after getting groceries which was driven by a man. During the ride, he started out by saying he was alone and was very lonely and sad. I said I was alone too and I have learned to appreciate it. So he struck up a conversation about not being interested in dating or marriage but he just wanted friends because he didn't have any. During the ride, we asked about each other's interests. He didn't tell me anything, rather he told me that he liked to do anything that the ladies did, as long as they are friendly. I told him I was interested in. Since we got along, he said that he wanted to get to know me outside of his job. He said he wanted to hang out sometime and though he seemed nice enough, I wasn't comfortable and said "I don't think it's going to work out."

Other things, he said that his parents live in my city while he lives in a motel and goes over to his parent's house for meals. -One of the reasons why I said no because his life sounds like it's a mess and I don't want to get into the middle of a situation that I am not responsible for.

He kept telling me that he didn't speak good English which I could understand him just fine. He said he wanted to hire a private tutor and learn math and better English before going to school to earn at degree at 45.



AquaineBay
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19 Jul 2021, 9:15 pm

I would be wary of that guy. First he started off a conversation about how lonely and sad he felt which just doesn't sit well and he kinda sounds like he is desperate cause he didn't mention any of his likes or dislikes just that "he like to do anything the ladies did".

He might be an alright dude don't get me wrong but it's unprofessional to bring up stuff like being alone, lonely, and sad when you are working especially if there is no reason to do so. As "business and client" to me there are some social boundaries you should keep. I'm surprised you didn't feel uncomfortable.



Summer_Twilight
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20 Jul 2021, 6:19 am

I was uncomfortable and I am sorry I did not mention that.

When he spoke to me, he kept giving a sarcastic laugh.

For example, he said that his parents live in the city while he lives in a hotel because the area is expensive. Yet he said he goes over there because he can’t cook.

He also gave the sarcastic laugh when he kept talking about not wanting to get into a relationship.

When I let him down, he asked why and accused me of wanting to get married. Uh…no, not in that case.



Mona Pereth
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20 Jul 2021, 10:29 pm

Ugh. I hope there's some place you can report this guy.

(I've never used Rideshare so I can't tell you how/where to report him.)


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IsabellaLinton
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20 Jul 2021, 11:11 pm

That's completely inappropriate on his part and it needs to be reported.

I don't know which company you used. The first thing I'd suggest is that you screenshot the picture of his name and the date / route regardless of which company it was. Get the make and model of his car. Go into the "Rate my driver" part and give him zero or one stars (the lowest) along with a comment. That will warn other riders as you get ready to report it to the main company.

If it was Uber --- I used to use Uber quite a bit, and so did my daughter. We never had problems except for losing a pair of glasses once, but I was able to contact them and get them returned. The app has likely changed since I used it, but I recall you can go into the Menu and there's something called "Ride History" or "My Trips" or something like that. You can write your report there and it goes straight to the management. Don't be shy about saying that it was inappropriate and made you uncomfortable. It's even more bothersome that he knows where you live. You have a right to report it so don't feel like you're doing something wrong.

I taught my daughter not to make small talk with rideshare drivers. We both would say hello, and clarify where we were going if needed, and then "Thank you! Have a great day! Drive carefully!" at the end. Pretend you're busy on your phone or listening to music if you feel uncomfortable not talking. They shouldn't be chatting up a single woman about personal details, whether you're comfortable with communication or not.



cyberdad
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20 Jul 2021, 11:37 pm

Fraternising with clients is unprofessional. I would be worried about his intentions.



Summer_Twilight
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22 Jul 2021, 2:47 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
That's completely inappropriate on his part and it needs to be reported.

I don't know which company you used. The first thing I'd suggest is that you screenshot the picture of his name and the date / route regardless of which company it was. Get the make and model of his car. Go into the "Rate my driver" part and give him zero or one stars (the lowest) along with a comment. That will warn other riders as you get ready to report it to the main company.

If it was Uber --- I used to use Uber quite a bit, and so did my daughter. We never had problems except for losing a pair of glasses once, but I was able to contact them and get them returned. The app has likely changed since I used it, but I recall you can go into the Menu and there's something called "Ride History" or "My Trips" or something like that. You can write your report there and it goes straight to the management. Don't be shy about saying that it was inappropriate and made you uncomfortable. It's even more bothersome that he knows where you live. You have a right to report it so don't feel like you're doing something wrong.

I taught my daughter not to make small talk with rideshare drivers. We both would say hello, and clarify where we were going if needed, and then "Thank you! Have a great day! Drive carefully!" at the end. Pretend you're busy on your phone or listening to music if you feel uncomfortable not talking. They shouldn't be chatting up a single woman about personal details, whether you're comfortable with communication or not.


Yes, it was Uber and I also used Lyft fairly often. I have had two other men who drove Lyft who were more open about in their flirting while this other creep was more subtle. I have reported those two before.

Anyway, got the message that he was probably implying I have him over for dinner so I can cook for him and etc. The whole situation in which he lives in a hotel while his parents live in the same city and goes over there to have a meal was fishy. Wouldn't he be living with some roommates? Though he sounded like he didn't have any money, the guy was driving a really nice vehicle that was very clean. The seats were also leather.



At first I felt bad but then I took time to process it

1. I waited until the next day to give him a two star rating and mention some of the things he did.
2. Then the next time I rode, which was Monday, I talked to two drivers and they said under no circumstances was his behavior acceptable and went against the strict Uber policies. One of them said this guy should be taken off the road.
3. I reported him and was able to get a full refund for his bad behavior. Uber said they were going to look into it

I talk to my uber drivers all the time about anything and try to keep things positive



Mountain Goat
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22 Jul 2021, 3:04 pm

What is shared drives? Why not cycle, walk or go by bus? I thought shared drives were between workmates?



Blue_Star
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22 Jul 2021, 3:39 pm

Wikipedia - Ridesharing company
Wikipedia - Lyft
Wikipedia - Uber

Mountain Goat wrote:
What is shared drives? Why not cycle, walk or go by bus? I thought shared drives were between workmates?



Mountain Goat
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22 Jul 2021, 3:44 pm

Blue_Star wrote:
Wikipedia - Ridesharing company
Wikipedia - Lyft
Wikipedia - Uber

Mountain Goat wrote:
What is shared drives? Why not cycle, walk or go by bus? I thought shared drives were between workmates?


So you need a computer to use them?



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22 Jul 2021, 3:51 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Blue_Star wrote:
Wikipedia - Ridesharing company
Wikipedia - Lyft
Wikipedia - Uber

Mountain Goat wrote:
What is shared drives? Why not cycle, walk or go by bus? I thought shared drives were between workmates?


So you need a computer to use them?


A smartphone more specifically, but those are like tiny computers.


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Mona Pereth
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22 Jul 2021, 4:33 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
What is shared drives? Why not cycle, walk or go by bus? I thought shared drives were between workmates?

Here in the U.S.A., most places do not have sufficient public transportation for bus or train to be a suitable means of transportation from most people's homes to most other places. Hence, those of us who don't own cars rely a lot more than Europeans do on taxi and livery cabs. So-called "Rideshare" is essentially a newfangled (and more exploitative toward its workers) variant of livery cabs, a.k.a. car services.

Also, most cities and towns here in the U.S.A. are too sprawly to be walkable.

New York City is one of the very few cities here in the U.S.A. that is densely populated enough to have quite a few neighborhoods where most people can actually walk to the nearest grocery store or at least a bodega (small grocery store). NYC is also one of the very few cities here in the U.S.A. where many people, even many relatively well-to-do people, don't bother with owning a car.

Even here in NYC, however, not all neighborhoods are well-served by public transportation. So, even here in NYC, there is heavy use of taxi cabs, livery cabs, and now "Rideshares."


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Summer_Twilight
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23 Jul 2021, 5:26 pm

What is a livery cab? Do you mean delivery?



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23 Jul 2021, 5:32 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
What is a livery cab? Do you mean delivery?


No, livery means like a company with a corporate look to it's cabs.

Livery is the gear a low-ranking warrior's patron would give him, like say matching surcoats with the lord's arms on it.


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Mona Pereth
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23 Jul 2021, 6:15 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
What is a livery cab? Do you mean delivery?

No. Here in NYC at least, a "livery cab," a.k.a. "car service," is similar to a taxi cab, except that a taxi can be hailed from the street, whereas livery cab rides are arranged via a phone call to the dispatcher or, more recently, via an app.

Also, taxi cabs are either bright yellow (if they are allowed to pick up passengers in Manhattan) or chartreuse (if they pick up passengers in the outer boroughs only), whereas livery cabs are more subdued colors.


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Summer_Twilight
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24 Jul 2021, 8:19 am

Back in 2007, there was a news story that a taxi cab driver would not let her out at her stop Instead, she kept driving so the fees would go up. When the woman stopped, the driver threw cash at her but wanted more money. So she kept in the car as long as possible.