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Sailon
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30 Jan 2023, 1:07 pm

It seems that these type of people are unable to control their sadistic desires to abuse us, and there's so many of them out their like that. I don't see this type of behavior as being culled off any time soon.



Summer_Twilight
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30 Jan 2023, 1:20 pm

I think bullying in adulthood can happen for a few reasons

1. You and the other party have different ideas of what to expect going into a situation but there is very little
communication. If their expectations aren't met, then they get frustrated
2. If the other party already has enough problems of their own and already has lots of anger and frustration
3. If they feel insecure and see you standing out in some way
4. If you aren't picking up on regular social rules, workplace politics etc.



auntblabby
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30 Jan 2023, 9:33 pm

us aspies need some help in establishing a routine outside of the rat race, to keep us from the hell of other people.



Texasmoneyman300
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30 Jan 2023, 11:28 pm

Sailon wrote:
Texasmoney, it is certainly good to ignore people that are toxic. I try to do the same.

Sadly ignoring my dad is not an option because he gets mad at me if I do but he bullies me everyday just for the heck of it.



Summer_Twilight
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31 Jan 2023, 9:30 am

I don't know if I have written about this on this thread but I will again.

I got bullied by some people who were part of a church small group who made a big deal about me breaking confidentiality in prayer requests regarding another member of the group to our adult Sunday school. However, they knew that I was new to their group and didn't tell me the rules from the beginning. Yet, they still held me accountable and turned really cold.



Sailon
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12 Feb 2023, 5:23 pm

This thread started about 2 years ago. I just reread my original post and realized it didn't include the relevant numbers from the poll, only a link. So I though I'd post those and how they relate to my message.

The poll:
"Were you bullied and if so when?"
No 1% [1]
Childhood 34% [46]
Teen years 31% [43]
College 7% [10]
Adult 13% [18]
All my life 14% [19]

So from those results we know that at least 13% of adults who responded have been bullied, and up to 27% depending on the age of those who selected "All my life"
And at a minimum 27% have been bullied or are being bullied at the current stage of their life, again from the same categories as we don't know the current life stage of the other respondents.



kraftiekortie
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12 Feb 2023, 11:40 pm

You just gotta deal with the bullies!



auntblabby
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13 Feb 2023, 6:30 am

what if the bullies are smarter, stronger, quicker and more numerous than you?



Minuteman
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13 Feb 2023, 5:47 pm

auntblabby wrote:
what if the bullies are smarter, stronger, quicker and more numerous than you?


They bully us for a reason -- they know full well we're less able to defend ourselves verbally (or physically, in many cases) and stand up for ourselves that NT's and the bullies take full advantage of that.



Sailon
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18 Mar 2023, 4:27 pm

Minuteman wrote:

They bully us for a reason -- they know full well we're less able to defend ourselves verbally (or physically, in many cases) and stand up for ourselves that NT's and the bullies take full advantage of that.


I see that is true. We are abused and it is terrible.



auntblabby
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18 Mar 2023, 10:18 pm

it is like their brain has a torture co-processor that puts them at an advantage over the rest of us who lack this co-processor.



Mona Pereth
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19 Mar 2023, 3:11 pm

Sailon wrote:
Here's an update on my situation.

I'm still having a lot of issues, it has not eased up at all. I am thinking of relocating again.

Have you relocated since you wrote this? If so, how did this work out for you?

What general kind of place did you relocate to, or are you thinking of relocating to if you have not done so already?

Also, have you ever participated in an in-person support group for adults on the autism spectrum?


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Sailon
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30 Mar 2023, 5:47 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
Have you relocated since you wrote this? If so, how did this work out for you?

What general kind of place did you relocate to, or are you thinking of relocating to if you have not done so already?

Also, have you ever participated in an in-person support group for adults on the autism spectrum?


Hey Mona Pereth.
Moving is I think a good idea for anyone who doesn't like where they're at.
Doesn't hurt to try somewhere else.
As far as the support group, I haven't attended any groups like that.



Sailon
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15 Apr 2023, 12:05 pm

Here's something else I have noticed. I think that sometimes they are judging us and deciding to bully us based solely on our looks and not behavioral differences, which we might not necessarily have control over. Maybe just some of the time this is happening though.



Joe90
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15 Apr 2023, 1:30 pm

I didn't get bullied when I was under 10. I got bullied the most in my teens, which started around adolescence (11 years old).

I hate when people say "ignore them", because usually ignoring bullies just makes you feel weak and pathetic. At least it did me. If you're ignoring them, they still get a kick out of taunting you if they know you can hear them.
I got bullied when I was 11, when I walked home from school. These two girls would wait for me at the top of the hill, then shout out names at me as I walked in front, and I felt so embarrassed. I just walked on though, not giving them a reaction, but it didn't stop them. The names just got worse, and then they became frustrated that they weren't getting a reaction so they became more aggressive by confronting me, and in the end I found a different route to walk home so that I didn't have to deal with them any more.

Walking to and from school alone made you more vulnerable to bullies, but none of my classmates wanted me to walk with them so I had no choice. It destroyed my self-esteem knowing I was so worthless to my classmates and an easy target to bullies. Makes me wonder how I survived high school without having a nervous breakdown.

I think I suffered with my mental health because of it when I began adulthood though.


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Amanda52
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27 Apr 2023, 4:48 am

I'm 52 (almost 53), and only just diagnosed myself. I was bullied at school - from kindergarten to end of high school, at various times at university, and at every place I've ever worked. I've always known people think I am strange, but only now do I realise what's happened in terms of Aspergers.