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Sailon
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 13 Apr 2020
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 310
Location: South Carolina

04 Feb 2023, 6:18 pm

After getting stabbed in the back one too many times as of late, I realized I need to do a better job of determining which of the people I associate with I can trust or not. Any suggestions? Is this something I would just know if my mind worked normal?



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,811
Location: New York City (Queens)

04 Feb 2023, 6:38 pm

A good saying to live by is: "Love many, trust few."

Trust should be earned gradually, over a long period of time. Trust people with only very minor things at first, then gradually larger and larger things later, as they earn your trust with the smaller things, and as they too gradually trust you with more and more. Trust should never be 100%, e.g., never trust anyone with your bank account password.

The majority of people in your life should never be trusted with more than small things if at all. But you nevertheless can and should regard most of the people in your life with good will, especially if the reason you don't trust them is merely that you don't yet know them well enough.

Below are a few signs of a person whom you probably shouldn't trust at all:

1) Someone who is constantly telling you bad things about other people. Chances are, they are also saying bad things about you to other people. Almost everyone at least occasionally says bad things about other people, and that's not necessarily a danger sign, but it is a danger sign if it seems to be the person's favorite topic.

2) Someone who flatters you a lot. Occasional compliments are fine, but a super-abundance of compliments likely means the person is trying to manipulate you (although it might just mean that the person has a crush on you, or something).

3) Someone who constantly tells colorful tales about their own life. Chances are, not all of it is true. The relatively few people who really do have such colorful lives are unlikely to chatter about it to all and sundry all the time.

(This is not an exhaustive list.)


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