Page 5 of 11 [ 168 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... 11  Next

KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

26 Mar 2023, 4:46 am

Pepe wrote:
"Ppl" are simply tribalistic naked apes.
Many are more than happy to form groups that discriminate against other "competitors".
"Nature of the beast."
What can you do?


Yes, and it's exaggerated now due to the information tidal wave and the internet isn't it. Tribes are becoming more vocal as there are so many billions of humans now. I've read that prehistoric tribes got on better because they rarely saw each other and so didn't fight over territory! The fewer humans there are, the better...it seems.


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

26 Mar 2023, 5:01 am

KitLily wrote:
What a strange world humans have made for ourselves, where everyone has to play a part instead of being themselves.


Indeed



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

26 Mar 2023, 6:09 am

KitLily wrote:
Pepe wrote:
"Ppl" are simply tribalistic naked apes.
Many are more than happy to form groups that discriminate against other "competitors".
"Nature of the beast."
What can you do?


Yes, and it's exaggerated now due to the information tidal wave and the internet isn't it. Tribes are becoming more vocal as there are so many billions of humans now. I've read that prehistoric tribes got on better because they rarely saw each other and so didn't fight over territory! The fewer humans there are, the better...it seems.


Look on the bright side.
Humanity will no doubt be extinct in a billion years. 8)



KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

26 Mar 2023, 11:37 am

Pepe wrote:
Humanity will no doubt be extinct in a billion years. 8)


I'll hang around and wait for that then :lol:

Really though, as long as the Earth stays healthy for my daughter and her children to thrive and have good long lives, I'll be happy. So another 100 years of good life will be fine.


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,182

26 Mar 2023, 6:35 pm

KitLily wrote:
Sorry if I've posted a similar thread before, I hope I haven't.

I’ve started this thread, mainly for myself so I can put all my observations in one place. Feel free to add to it! Sorry if these points are blatantly obvious, I just hope it helps some people, including myself.

• When talking with NTs, don’t listen carefully and respond to every point they make. Don’t ask them to explain what they mean. Just say ‘uh huh’ and carry on with what you want to say. They don’t like to be questioned and have everything they say responded to. A good conversation with them would be where you are talking at a tangent to them, partially related but not the same. Use a lot of ‘I think’ ‘I am’ ‘I believe’ statements. This is the opposite to the advice given by 'Communication Experts', because their advice doesn't work for autists.

• I've come to learn that NTs prioritise WHO is giving the advice or message, over WHAT the advice or message is. You can give the most sensible advice in the world but NTs won't listen if they don't like you or trust you or know you. They don't prioritise WHAT is actually in the message, they prioritise WHO the person is giving it. That's why very popular people can say ridiculous nonsense and it's slavishly followed. Whereas unpopular people like myself can give the most sensible and accurate advice and guidance, and it's completely ignored. This is the opposite of autists because we prioritise the actual message not the person giving it. I wonder if this is the core reason why autists and non-autists can't communicate: we prioritise the substance of the message and they prioritise who is giving the message.


Honestly, I think it's got absolutely nothing to do with autism so much as it does with confidence and authority. And unfortunately, much of the natural autistic body language screams anything but confidence and authority to NT folks. Granted, I'm not neurotypical, but I've literally played one on TV multiple times.

In all seriousness though, I do think a lot of it comes down to confidence and track record. People usually listen to me because I speak with confidence, refuse to repeat myself if somebody wasn't listening, and am usually on the right side of whatever is going on.

Then again, I mask like I've never masked before when I really need it to go through as my Rainman impression seems to instill a ton of mistrust in what I'm saying.

And some people are just so bought into whatever fool thing they're doing that there's not much you can do then just let them blow up whatever they're doing, then keep your mouth shut because nobody likes being told that you knew that was going to happen.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

26 Mar 2023, 6:45 pm

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
KitLily wrote:
Sorry if I've posted a similar thread before, I hope I haven't.

I’ve started this thread, mainly for myself so I can put all my observations in one place. Feel free to add to it! Sorry if these points are blatantly obvious, I just hope it helps some people, including myself.

• When talking with NTs, don’t listen carefully and respond to every point they make. Don’t ask them to explain what they mean. Just say ‘uh huh’ and carry on with what you want to say. They don’t like to be questioned and have everything they say responded to. A good conversation with them would be where you are talking at a tangent to them, partially related but not the same. Use a lot of ‘I think’ ‘I am’ ‘I believe’ statements. This is the opposite to the advice given by 'Communication Experts', because their advice doesn't work for autists.

• I've come to learn that NTs prioritise WHO is giving the advice or message, over WHAT the advice or message is. You can give the most sensible advice in the world but NTs won't listen if they don't like you or trust you or know you. They don't prioritise WHAT is actually in the message, they prioritise WHO the person is giving it. That's why very popular people can say ridiculous nonsense and it's slavishly followed. Whereas unpopular people like myself can give the most sensible and accurate advice and guidance, and it's completely ignored. This is the opposite of autists because we prioritise the actual message not the person giving it. I wonder if this is the core reason why autists and non-autists can't communicate: we prioritise the substance of the message and they prioritise who is giving the message.


Honestly, I think it's got absolutely nothing to do with autism so much as it does with confidence and authority. And unfortunately, much of the natural autistic body language screams anything but confidence and authority to NT folks. Granted, I'm not neurotypical, but I've literally played one on TV multiple times.

In all seriousness though, I do think a lot of it comes down to confidence and track record. People usually listen to me because I speak with confidence, refuse to repeat myself if somebody wasn't listening, and am usually on the right side of whatever is going on.

Then again, I mask like I've never masked before when I really need it to go through as my Rainman impression seems to instill a ton of mistrust in what I'm saying.

And some people are just so bought into whatever fool thing they're doing that there's not much you can do then just let them blow up whatever they're doing, then keep your mouth shut because nobody likes being told that you knew that was going to happen.


Nicely said...



MechaOphidian
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

27 Mar 2023, 6:52 am

I've given up on NT's this year.

They always love me at first, drama class and all those hours have made me a master at interacting with them, in small doses.

If they need something from me they'll put up with me because I have value to them, eventually they do an equation and realize I annoy them more than my value and I stop hearing from them.

I spent years and years trying to build social groups and have consistent friends but it's simply never worked out.

I'm 3 months into Isolation from Neurotypicald and it's been a world of difference in my mental health.

They are truly just not like me and any interaction with them is both mentally exhausting and honestly boring...

It's been lovely reading the posts here guys, feels like when I discovered autism tiktok and found out there were so many people like me none of us go outside much is all :heart:



KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

27 Mar 2023, 11:04 am

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
Honestly, I think it's got absolutely nothing to do with autism so much as it does with confidence and authority. And unfortunately, much of the natural autistic body language screams anything but confidence and authority to NT folks. Granted, I'm not neurotypical, but I've literally played one on TV multiple times.

And some people are just so bought into whatever fool thing they're doing that there's not much you can do then just let them blow up whatever they're doing, then keep your mouth shut because nobody likes being told that you knew that was going to happen.


I kind of agree. I find that at first people ignore me because of the body language thing, but eventually they piss me off and I bite back. I say something very cutting, or stand up for myself, or refuse point blank to do something, and they all stare at me open mouthed. 'So the little mouse has a sharp bite after all!'

That doesn't help me though, because then they all dislike me. At least, women don't like me doing that. Men tend to like it and relax more. Very odd.

That second bit is hilarious isn't it. I can see what is going to go wrong immediately, no one believes me, they blow it up in exactly the way I saw coming.

If I especially don't like them, I point this out coolly. :lol: 'If you remember, I did warn you that...'


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

27 Mar 2023, 11:08 am

MechaOphidian wrote:
I've given up on NT's this year.

They always love me at first, drama class and all those hours have made me a master at interacting with them, in small doses.

If they need something from me they'll put up with me because I have value to them, eventually they do an equation and realize I annoy them more than my value and I stop hearing from them.

I spent years and years trying to build social groups and have consistent friends but it's simply never worked out.

I'm 3 months into Isolation from Neurotypicald and it's been a world of difference in my mental health.

They are truly just not like me and any interaction with them is both mentally exhausting and honestly boring...

It's been lovely reading the posts here guys, feels like when I discovered autism tiktok and found out there were so many people like me none of us go outside much is all :heart:


That is so well put and sums me up too! Exactly, 100%. I am just not like NTs in any way. Chalk and cheese.

I do think NTs are getting worse though. The extreme capitalism of the West, plus the internet/information overload 24/7, media telling them what people 'should' be like and the polarisation of people into 'them' and 'us', are making them more narrow minded. They expect everyone to be perfect 24/7, they value money and individualism rather than people and community.

NTs and NDs are heading in different directions.


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


rse92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,076
Location: Buffalo, NY

27 Mar 2023, 4:31 pm

I happen to like most neurotypical people as I like most all people. Living in a world where it us versus them is a poor use of psychic energy. Envy is a deadly sin.



MechaOphidian
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

27 Mar 2023, 7:05 pm

I get what you mean when you say you feel they are changing. Social media has amplified their ability to be fake with each other the entire idea of clout is just insane to me.

Imagine living your life to relieve all your validation externally what a horrifying existence...

Chalk and cheese 100%

At a certain point I had to really ask myself, why do I even want attention from these people when literally almost every interaction for my entire life with them has been negative in some way or physically and mentally draining.


KitLily wrote:
MechaOphidian wrote:
I've given up on NT's this year.

They always love me at first, drama class and all those hours have made me a master at interacting with them, in small doses.

If they need something from me they'll put up with me because I have value to them, eventually they do an equation and realize I annoy them more than my value and I stop hearing from them.

I spent years and years trying to build social groups and have consistent friends but it's simply never worked out.

I'm 3 months into Isolation from Neurotypicald and it's been a world of difference in my mental health.

They are truly just not like me and any interaction with them is both mentally exhausting and honestly boring...

It's been lovely reading the posts here guys, feels like when I discovered autism tiktok and found out there were so many people like me none of us go outside much is all :heart:


That is so well put and sums me up too! Exactly, 100%. I am just not like NTs in any way. Chalk and cheese.

I do think NTs are getting worse though. The extreme capitalism of the West, plus the internet/information overload 24/7, media telling them what people 'should' be like and the polarisation of people into 'them' and 'us', are making them more narrow minded. They expect everyone to be perfect 24/7, they value money and individualism rather than people and community.

NTs and NDs are heading in different directions.



MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,182

27 Mar 2023, 11:36 pm

KitLily wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
I'm afraid we all have to do that. Including us NT schmucks. It is psychologically draining and dissonant to have to smile and "take it" from unpleasant people we all have to work with. I'm afraid even NTs have to learn to grin and bear it. It's not a walk in the park to be not allowed to be yourself. Even among family or friends. It's one reason my wife and I maintain minimal links with outsiders so both so we can focus on our daughter which saps most of our energy.

It's rather odd as I detect that the majority of WP members are not into wokeness and that people need to accept social norms as they are. But I'm afraid you can't have it both ways. If you want to get on with NTs you also have to play their games. You can;t pick and choose what rules to change.


Yes...I'm a bit too old to play along with people 24/7 now. I've made a list of rules that might help me get by but I'll see how it goes. It's good that every post I make on WP helps me come to a conclusion.

It's quite reassuring that even NTs don't have it all their own way and sail through life though. What a strange world humans have made for ourselves, where everyone has to play a part instead of being themselves.


I'm pretty sure that's just being alive. Pretty much any organism that's complicated enough to have a central nervous system and congregates does the same thing.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

28 Mar 2023, 12:14 am

MechaOphidian wrote:
I've given up on NT's this year.

They always love me at first, drama class and all those hours have made me a master at interacting with them, in small doses.

If they need something from me they'll put up with me because I have value to them, eventually they do an equation and realize I annoy them more than my value and I stop hearing from them.


This is common "across the board".


MechaOphidian wrote:
I spent years and years trying to build social groups and have consistent friends but it's simply never worked out.

I'm 3 months into Isolation from Neurotypicald and it's been a world of difference in my mental health.


For younger ppl who need more life experience, I don't recommend isolation.
For older ppl, it is a "godsend" to be a recluse.

My grandpappy skunk used to say:
"Most pain comes from other ppl...
Reason would suggest avoiding most ppl."
Smart old bugger. 8)

MechaOphidian wrote:
They are truly just not like me and any interaction with them is both mentally exhausting and honestly boring...


I think most ppl on the spectrum find "chit-chat" uninteresting.

MechaOphidian wrote:
It's been lovely reading the posts here guys, feels like when I discovered autism tiktok and found out there were so many people like me none of us go outside much is all :heart:


Don't speak too soon.
You haven't met EVERYBODY. :twisted:



KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

28 Mar 2023, 2:54 am

rse92 wrote:
I happen to like most neurotypical people as I like most all people. Living in a world where it us versus them is a poor use of psychic energy. Envy is a deadly sin.


Yep. Tell that to the world, politicians and social media. They are setting us all up to be envious of each other and it won't end well...


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

28 Mar 2023, 2:58 am

MechaOphidian wrote:
I get what you mean when you say you feel they are changing. Social media has amplified their ability to be fake with each other the entire idea of clout is just insane to me.

Imagine living your life to relieve all your validation externally what a horrifying existence...

Chalk and cheese 100%

At a certain point I had to really ask myself, why do I even want attention from these people when literally almost every interaction for my entire life with them has been negative in some way or physically and mentally draining.



I totally agree with you. A guy online (not social media) said this:

It's possible we took a wrong turn somewhere when we started focusing on metrics in our everyday life.

It's ok to do something just because you want to, or because it brings you personal joy / fulfillment / satisfaction.

It's ok if no one sees it. It's ok if no one knows about it.


He is correct. We should stop measuring these things and just live life for the fun of it. Not because we want to be 'influencers'.

I do that with my fanfic now. Many people write fanfic hoping the actual actors will read it and comment or whatever. I was horrified when I found that actors read fanfic. So now my own fics are tagged so eccentrically that few people will find them. I write them for myself. I laughed so much at one I wrote yesterday I gave myself a tummy ache. :lol:


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,146

28 Mar 2023, 3:58 am

MechaOphidian wrote:
I'm 3 months into Isolation from Neurotypicald and it's been a world of difference in my mental health.
:


How do you avoid NTs for 3 months?