How can i make new friends without failing (if possible)

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xHomerOx
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26 Feb 2024, 2:21 pm

Hi, i think is my first post here but i woke up a little bad today, i don't have any good social skill, all is mechanic for me and i feel like that, i am 38 but it is impossible to make new friends, and to be clear, i have been in different therapies since 15, about social skills learning, emotions, etc, but i feel that no matter how many therapies with different psicologist do, it will be always the same, this year i left all expectations about meeting new people, i don't want to go with ASD groups because we are very few and their grade of autism is worse than mine, i have Asperger but on the other hand i notice very well how others see me like a ret*d, stupid, crazy guy. I have never had gf, nor a girl to see from time to time. I feel like i am stupid but enough intelligent to notice that i am really stupid. Today i have spoken to my therapist, he told me i should go to theatre classes to make new friends because going out to pubs, etc and try to socialize there (is like going to Lion's Den). I have been diagonsed at the age of 24/25 with ASD, i understood most things and started several therapies that had help me. But i can't make friends and keep them for a long time. I hope you can answer me what should i do, but i think i should let the things be like they are and accept it...



BTDT
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26 Feb 2024, 2:26 pm

It may be easier to socialize if you are people who share a special interest.
If theater is a special interest it will help to meet people who share that interest.



xHomerOx
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26 Feb 2024, 2:59 pm

Mmm, tried that but didn't work in the past, i have several interests but somehow i felt different from the others.



BTDT
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26 Feb 2024, 3:35 pm

xHomerOx wrote:
Mmm, tried that but didn't work in the past, i have several interests but somehow i felt different from the others.

That is to be expected. If you have autism you are different.
Instead of worrying about how you are different you should focus on what you have in common.



insanetwocubes
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29 Feb 2024, 6:25 am

If you are unhappy with the way things are, you should do something to change it. Though I do know two autistic people who found their "One Person" and don't make too much effort to make friends otherwise.

I struggle to make friends, too, and I share your sentiment with groups surrounding a special interest. Clubs and classes don't always have the right people or environment for you. Making friends is tough because it has to be in environment that makes you comfortable, but stimulating enough that doesn't let the conversation die down and become awkward.

It's also hard to find people who are going to be accepting of you. I struggle to find people who are accepting of my autistic traits. My parents tell me that I should find someone I'm enthusiastic about being friends with, but I can't tell if someone will accept me before I get to know them. Or even what kind of signs to look for.

I guess the best advice is keep trying new things and new environments and by the law of chance, something is going to click right. Or otherwise, you'll learn what doesn't work for you and you try again.

Good luck!

~Emillie