ever go through phases of wanting/not wanting friends?

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Right now, I don't want friends. The idea repulses me at the moment.

Last week, I was depressed at not having any friends.

Don't know what that's all about.

Yes, that's been my experience as well. Several months back I got frustrated living in a house with friends who seemed to do nothing but drink and make drama, so I moved into an apartment on my own. Now I miss the constant contact with people, even though I know that, were I to be bounced back into that situation again, I would not enjoy myself in their company for more than ten minutes.

I think this is what would be referred to as an 'executive function' matter. For me at least, I go through cycles of indecision where I cannot decide whether or not I want friends, and I will convince myself that I need to be friendly to people but cannot seem to follow through when the behavior aspect of the scenario comes into play. In some strange way, I almost feel as if I am rationalizing my lack of friendship as being unprepared to have friends- as in I feel I need to learn more and develop my interests and ideas in order to be able to make interesting conversation.

Of course I realize the hypocrisy in this- I will not ever fully develop my interests, and re-explaining things to other people is a huge part of learning, so by withholding and not sharing about my interests, I am preventing a crucial part of the learning process!

Boggling!

I found that having friends or being social was too much trouble so that I don't remember ever really wanting them. Once when I lived overseas I had lots of friends and really enjoyed it.

I go through phases like that too. Sometimes I'm just sickened by people, don't want anything to do with them. Other times I just have to go sit in a public place and be around humans

Yes, I've gone through that.

I experience the same too. I think the equilibrium lies in getting nerd or dork friends with similar social difficulties.

Yes. The idea of friendship repulses me. As a kid I never wanted "give and take" put someone to boss around and lecture to about my special intrests. The idea of give and take repulsed me. I supposedly have a best friend but I wonder if she thinks of me as her best friend when she has so many other friends. She has never abondoned me for more normal friends, nor has she manipulated me for her own amusement. She is probably my first real best friend but I don't know, the concept of friendship is so alien to me. Aside from her, I don't really have any desire for friends. I'm too headstrong and aware now to let her manipulate me for her own amusement but I am deathly afraid she will abondon me like all my other so called friends did when they find out how weird I am.

The concept of friendship will always be an alien concept for me.

I like having friends but prefer to have friends who share my interests. This is pretty much how I've ever had a social life. And I have difficulty dealing with said friends outside the context of those interests.

Like I had a good friend that interacted with me via roleplaying games, but when he invited me to holiday parties I just, uh, had no idea whether I even wanted to go or what to do once I got there. Plus, I am not a big fan of parties. And then I'd forget about them until the day passed and feel vaguely guilty.

I wouldn't call it a phase as much as I really don't want friends.

By that I mean I don't want friend in real life but I like having a few friends online. It's hard for me to have friends in my city because I'm agoraphobic and I very rarely leave my house. Even before my agoraphobia became this severe I wasn't really interested in making friends, I was/am much more interested in my ...interests. XD

I've always wanted friends, sometimes the desire fluctuates depending on how I'm feeling. In year 10 I was really depressed because I didn't feel satisfied with my barely there social life. But from year 11 onwards I've felt comfortable with the friends I have now and I want to stay with them as long as I can. I'm still open to making new ones. Not that I make them often but once I get the chance I'm excited.

I have generally always wanted friends, but i found that online social interactions (especially via social media) stress me out, i dropped all Social media about 9 months ago and feel far more in control of my social experiences. I am no less lonely as it validated a lot of what i thought (in that i had very few what i would call real friends), as i still have the same amount of physical social interactions as i have always had and very few people contacting me (email/whatsapp)

I have friends i dont want to be around some times, and ones i do, and it can switch and i dont really get why. I can go months or years not wanting to speak to some one and avoiding them, to then be fine with it months later.

I'm a loaner who felt trapped in his own world when out & around people & I was glad to be back home when I was but sometimes while at home, I got lonely for friends as well as a romantic realtionship. Having a girlfriend that I'm living with who I can be myself with is helping alot with that but there are still times where I wouldn't mind having a friend or two to do stuff with.

I think... for the most part... I want friends until I have them.

I can do casual mingling or new acquaintances quite well if I care to and really focus my energy into it, but once we start to get a little bit close, I can get repulsed easily and will turn aloof or cold. Even though I really want attention, comfort, validation, connection *in theory*, it just isn't a comfortable thing once I have it in front of me.

I'm sure it sends very mixed signals to my friends/potential friends... poor souls. Little do they know, I'm just as confused as they are

Me too. I generally don't need or want friends. I like to concentrate on my activities and get my time alone.

But suddenly, I get bored and I feel lonely and want a friend.

The thing is, friendship is something you build along time, not something that is ready to use when you want it once a month.

I think I tend to attract clingy friends, so I panic and then don't want friends nearby. They'll always want to do something, and I never really knew how to say "no."

Now that I'm in a healthier place emotionally, I attract more stable friends. I still rarely want to hang out with them, but it isn't as much pressure now.

That said, most of my close friends are far away from where I live. I speak to them mostly via messaging and online communication. Your best bet would probably be Meetups/interest groups where you can just interact on your own time.

Master Jedi

Yes

Right now

For long amounts of time

Seriously

Gave up going to Meetup.com about four years ago

Because if someone tells you that he or she is your friend, you do not know how they will respond in a different situation. And sooner or later, different situations come up

Quite frankly I don't have the IQ, EQ, or metabolism to keep up with precious lil "friends".

Playing games

Cost benefit analysis almost never is worth it

There are exceptions, but almost everyone assumes they are an exception and there are not many exceptions

An article said that a man married two women at the same time. Neither woman suspected anything for several years. Until the dry cleaning got messed up. One of the women was a clinical psychologist

So

If someone with as much skill as a psychologist, could get tricked about something as large as marriage, for several years, and a lot of close interaction, then it is much easier for someone to trick me about something.

The flip side of that is like, even if they did not receive me that time, doesn't mean they never will

There is a first time for everything

But even if they never trick me, then what



Whooptie do fatalist




The Best case scenario is whooptie do

The worst case scenario is subject to imagination


So

It is not that I do not want friends, but that I am too scared, lazy, apathetic, intimidated to try to make friends