An article on "bullycide"

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Well I thought this topic was about actual bullying not some idiot on the street making some a**hole comment which in my experiance is much easier to ignore then legitamate bullying where someone is intentionally trying to push you to your breaking point.

Also I was more getting at its very easy to see whats not the best way to deal with things, but maybe not so easy to suggest better alternatives. I mean someone has to have some way of coping or its not suprising they might sometimes have an extreme reaction, I personally find murder worse then suicide so I am not trying to put them on the same level but they are both extreme reactions.

Also i personally cannot totally ignore when people are being jerks to me, maybe there are people who can though.......but the fact I cant tells me I'm probably not the only one. Also describe where I twisted anything because that was not even close to any intention I would have I may have misunderstood something....but usually twisting things around to fit ones world veiw requires the intention to do so.

Once someone is in such a dire emotional state that they are considering suicide, what makes you think they will give a damn what some clueless third party thinks is acceptable? If suicide isn't acceptable, what about murdering the god damn bullies and all their adult enablers?

They themselves come to see it as acceptable, desirable even, because they've seen the way people react to those who do it. The motives behind suicide are often much more complex than just wanting one's pain to end. Very often there is an desire to punish the people who've done them wrong by filling them with guilt, often it is done as a means of expressing one's pain ("now they'll all see how much they've been hurting me").

There are a lot of people who might choose not to kill themselves if they knew that people would not be thinking afterwards "oh, I feel so guilty now. I wish I had been better to so-and-so," but rather "what the hell was he thinking? That was a stupid thing to do" or "what an a**hole for putting his family through that."

Sorry if that sounds insensitive, but suicide is a very touchy topic for me. Two members of my family have committed suicide over the last ten years (grown men, not kids doing it due to bullying), and I find it hard to not feel great anger toward those who do it, and retroactive anger toward myself for having attempted it before I realized just how utterly cruel it is to your loved ones.

Not all third parties are clueless.

And I gotta ask, what exactly is wrong with trying to encourage people not to kill themselves. No, invalidating what a person feels is not going to help. But at the same time, one can only go so far with validating their feelings. At a certain point, like when a person desires their own death, we need to stop telling them that they are right to feel the way they do.

Well are they wrong to feel the way they do? don't know you can say that either.

Are you saying that suicide ever is the right decision? It is not wrong to feel depressed. But I feel perfectly comfortable saying that those who've decided on suicide as the answer have chosen wrongly.

No I am just saying the way someone feels can't really be wrong, if someone feels suicidal they are not wrong.....that does not mean they should follow through.

Look, another made up word!

But seriously, these bullies are gonna get what they deserve one day...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV2ssT8lzj8[/youtube]

Ok, I think I see what's going on here. It's kind of a semantic issue. You see being suicidal as an emotion, and as such it cannot be wrong in and of itself, only the possible consequences can be wrong. I see being suicidal as having a desire, to die, that comes from the emotional state of depression. While emotions are not wrong, i think the desires that result from them certainly can be.

Only a slight distinction, but still enough to cause an argument. Of course, let me know if my attempt to interpret your thinking is off.

Well if someone is in pain it's natural for them to want to kill the pain, if suicide seems to be the only way to do it then it will make perfect sense to the individual.......so to them it can't be wrong unless there is some sort of alternative. At least that is how it was for me, and I found another way and thus far it seems to be working. Also I guess I don't feel guilty for having attempted suicide, I mean at the time it was the only option I could see so though I am somewhat glad I did not suceed I don't feel it was nessisarly wrong but that does not mean I think it was right if that makes any sense.

Depends on their reasons for doing it though. In most cases it's not a rational choice they're making and they think like this when they're dangerously low and things can get better. In some cases though it can be a rational choice.

Usually its not a rational choice, though it is frusterating when it does not actually seem to get better.....so then I have to wonder if its not just better to learn to cope with things possibly not getting better.

When depressed, one cannot always think rationally. The person's thought process is skewed, preventing them from seeing that life can get better. Their sense of self-worth is distorted, which can convince them that their life is not worth the pain they'd have to endure to keep on living it. It is not wrong to be depressed. But, when depressed, the things a person wants and thinks often are quite wrong.

I am aware, even so I know hoping for things to get better just makes me feel more depressed, as for my self worth sure it could be skewed by the depression but I personally don't see what is so wonderful about me. But to each their own I guess...also wrong in what sense? I would think it would depend on the individual and can sometimes get to be a bit complex I mean I get what you say I am just not sure I would use the word wrong in this instance.

It can be a bit of both, but I don't think someone is going to bother following through with killing themselves if they see anything of value in their life. Someone could already be horribly depressed due to having no social support, abusive and/or un-supportive parents, etc... and the bullying is simply the straw that breaks the camels back.



Again, chances are the family treated them badly as well. That's reality. The notion that suicide is something "stupid" that someone decides on a whim, "jee golly why don't I kill myself, that will show them!" is profoundly clueless. In general, if people were less clueless to the suffering of those around them there would be less suicide. The macho thing to do is to hide your suffering, lest you be judged as weak. That's what our culture ingrains in people, particularly males, which may be part of the reason suicide rates are higher for men even though depression is more commonly reported for women.


Unfortunately people are often subject to horrible emotional and/or physical suffering. Not everyone has the brain biology/chemistry necessary to muffle their emotions to the point where they can cope. Existence itself can be utterly cruel to some people. Without proper social support, will power has its limits. I have my own moral convictions against offing myself anytime soon, but I haven't been pushed quit to that limit in my life so there's no telling if I would or would not commit suicide given the worst circumstances possible. I think it's wrong to judge suicides because it's impossible to know the true depths of what someone who makes that decision is going through. You cannot judge unless you have direct experience living in that person's head, which is impossible. Sorry if this sounds insensitive but it's also a touchy topic for me.

You know what, f**k it, you guys win. Everyone who has bad s**t happen to them should kill themselves. Because life sucks and it never ever gets better for anyone. Hell, here I was thinking that my life was worth something despite the horrible things that've happened, but you guys have convinced me; suicide was the right answer all along.

And, my god Marshall, could you have been any more insulting in the way you worded that? Not everyone who disagrees with you is "profoundly clueless." you don't know me. You don't know the first f*****g thing about me or my experiences.

Word.