Eye Contact and Bullying

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has anyone ever been told that they get picke because they dont give enough eye contact or carry themselves timid?
well when i went to spain, i was verbally and physically bullied and harrassed by this 34 year old woman and an 18 year old boy.

the guy did little things like put his shoes on my bed and all that kinda stuff. and he said little stupid comments sometimes, and the teacher the 34 year old woman did nothing. he would push me alittle bit when we'd walk.

who has trouble turning things such as arguments and such back on the other person. i was in spain and i was asked by one of my teacher's favorite stuidents if i were smoking and i kept being asked by the techer if i were drinking or doing drugs with the other groups. the teacher physically harrassed me, i am 17 year old boy and she is a 34 year old woman. she pushed me and grabbed me alot and she was also very verbally defensive about nothing, and she always told me to stop being so defensive.. she did it to this other girl in another group but she gave my teacher a stare.

when i got back to the US i told me family, and they always go "i would have..." or "i wulda been like this"....and its always some sort of witty talk that turns the focus back to the other person.

do you aspies have trouble turning the focus off you and to the other personm. and what would you do about the physical harrassment of this teacher?

o yeah, and all that time the teacher and the other kids were going out to clubs and drinking, and i didnt go because i hated clubs. the had some sh** called sangria

its like three people from my group of ten were acting like racist as*holes, and they wanted me to be passive and let them run all opver me. but i really think they wanted me to act out and get mad. i never let them push my bottons, i never gave them the control over me to have an outburst, because the teacher didnt want me going on the trip in the first place, because i cussed one of her favorite students out. i cussed her out because she kept verbally harrssing me. i guess they wanted to see if they could push my buttons in a foreign country so i could go to jail.and the other groups from other states hated my teacher and my group, the only person they liked was ME, they said im cool and easy to get along with, and they were white people as well. one of the white teachers from another group told me to watch out for my teacher, she's a racist. and this is coming from a white woman herself, and also that teacher had a whole lot of black kids in her group as well.

was i too passive
not agressive enough or did i do the right thing by ignoring their racist asses?

also i get the feeling that people think im not totally aware of whthey are doing when they bully me. they try to make it seem like they are playing. but i know they are just being jerks.

also i was told that i get bullied like this because I dont CARRY MYSELF the right way. my moms bf tells me i need to walk into the room or anywhere i walk like I OWN the place. Its stupid. one NT rule that is impossible to follow and all of a sudden you are harrassed.


its harder when you are a black aspie because if you are too nice, then you are more of a target for white people becuase they think its weakness. but when you get mean, everyone wants to label as the scary black guy.

Sometimes I like like an Alien trapped in a Black Man's body, and there's no escape. People love to tease the alien too, but because of his appearance, if he hits the teacher, who's a white woman, he's labeled as angry. if he has a meltdown, he's labeled as angry and ignorant. Most diagnosed aspies dont have this problem, because they are WHITE not BLACK.
They have the being bullied problem, but their skin color is not an issue when it comes to getting angry. Men are labeled badly for hitting a woman period; but black men are labeled twice as badly, especially if the woman is white.

It feels like the teacher was trying to make me act a fool in a foreign country, and I was an easy target because of my poor eye contact and withdrawn behavior. and also if she could make me act a fool and have an aspie meltdown, or beat her ass up, i'd be labeled as an angry black man, who came out of nowhere and went off on a helpless white woman. Everytime i get mad, which is probably most aspies, people say the anger just came from nowhere and I just sparked out of nowhere. But really its anger from years ago of being bullied and harrassed.

i just feel like aspied are aliens and some of us got thrown into the bodies of women, men, white, asian, and very few unforyunate were thrown into the bodies of black men.

but having poor eye contact and not having a cocky attitude, and not living up to NT standards doesnt make it any better

some people work on their posture and also speech therapy or voice coaching can help. NTs read poor posture and a weak voice tone as a 'victim'.

Is there any way you could go after her legally, such as taking her to court? I think you can sue her for the way she treated you on the basis of race and disability.She also had pushed you which constitutes assualt charges in criminal court as well as civil.You could also go after her for harassment.She could be possibly forced to pay you back the money you paid to go on that trip as well as punitive damages and pain and sufferring.

What she did to you was ILLEGAL and she should be held accountable.

Yeah, I don't even know where to begin on that teacher, but I do know one thing. As useless as they seem to be with their statements, family members who chime in and say what they would have done, or who try to advise you on what to do, are trying to help. They're in over their heads, mind you, but they really are saying, "I wish it had been me, I'd put that cow in her place." They wish they could help you to fight off the bullies, but they know you have to learn to do it yourself.

Unfortunately, I don't have much advise on that. The world's too full of people looking for a cheap shot of power at the expense of gentle people. I don't get bothered much anymore because I'm tall, have a wicked (but sadly natural) frown, and avoid people a lot. On the road though, I see the ugly side. People driving let their bullying side out, showing that it's there even in people who wouldn't dream of allowing anything but sweetness to show in person. Unfortunately, you seem to have run afoul of people who don't feel the need to appear sweet anywhere. It's infuriating, but it also sounds like you did well. Learning to cope with irritating people without allowing them to force you into anything is a great skill to develop.

Yoga is an excellent way of naturally improving your posture without having to actually think about it, it's better done in solitude too imo. Maybe get a parent to go to the teachers boss and start complaint proceedings or just go straight to a lawyer.

If you act like a victim, you'll be treated like one. If you act strong, you'll be treated like you're strong. Confidence, confidence, confidence and assertiveness.

It's a tough skill to learn, and I'm in no way a master of the art, but people will treat you better and respect you more if you learn to be confident and assertive instead of sketchy and passive.

Those tough, witty remarks are NTs' way of displaying their passive aggressiveness (or just aggressiveness) and has no real bearing on assertiveness.

I agree full-heartedly.


If i asked him to stop this and he continued, then he'd be fishing them from the toilet. If he continued, i'd think of a place worse than a toilet, or a place that he could not physically retrieve them from.


I'd tell him to stop this, if he continued then some of his posessions would go missing. As with the previous example, if he continues, then excalate.


You need to inconvenience the teacher in some way, that makes her think twice about bullying you again. She needs to know it was you.


I hate clubbing, but sangria is the closest thing to ambrosia that humans can get.


You are thinking too short-term and from the rest of your post it would actually seem that they did have control over you. You are not a scratching pole.


People with aspergers, autism, need to play to their strengths, not their weaknesses. Do not rely or attempt witty speech, do not attempt to use dashing body language. (Unless of course these area's are an expertise). What are your strengths? how can you use them to inconvenience your enemies?