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atheory0101
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01 Nov 2009, 4:23 pm

One of the biggest problems I have in socializing is that I do and do not want to at the same time. I do not want to remain alone forever, but at the same time I am usually so caught up in my own world that it becomes hard to find the energy to include other people.

I spend so much of my time in my room staring up at the ceiling - thinking and fantasizing. This is natural for me. In my mind I am constantly creating and living in fantasy worlds - some of which involve RPG-like aspects such as wizards, warriors and dragons and others which involve real-life situations. These thoughts consume me, and I find them difficult if not impossible to express to others.

My family wonders how I can spend so much time alone, and I myself understand that if I do not put myself in situations where I am more likely to succeed in socializing (no matter how difficult it is for me and how many times I fail at it), then I more than likely will never succeed.

Has anybody else been able to deal with a situation like this? If so, how did you do it?

Thanks



Laney2005
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01 Nov 2009, 5:30 pm

Sounds like my life, too. I spent most of high school alone in bedroom in my own head (before that it was on the swing in the backyard). The best thing that happened to me socially was becoming involved in roleplaying games at the college I was going to. My roommate dragged me to this group of people (she actually grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down the hall... I was too freaked out to stop her). There are groups all over the internet for RPGs, of course, but if you can find one where people actually meet in person, it wouldn't be a bad thing to try. A group of gamers have better social skills than a group of Aspies (on average, with some overlap), but they are not people who are going to treat you cruelly. If you live near a college, there are often groups at colleges. Otherwise gaming stores (or comic shops) will probably be able to send you in the right direction. It's just a thought, but it seems to go with what you think about. And pen-and-paper RPGs allow you to get to know people and their characters, and no one I have come across really seems to care if you confuse them and their characters. I called one guy "Keris" for three years before someone informed me that his given name was "Adam". It is scary to go out and meet new people, but this might be something you all have in common, which tends to make things better.



atheory0101
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01 Nov 2009, 11:49 pm

I'm currently involved at my local game shop(s) playing Magic: The Gathering, but not any RPGs (yet). I do get to meet people, but I still find it hard to make the leap into actually socializing with them (any more than I have to)

Based upon what you're saying (and looking back at my post), I agree and think it would be a good idea for me to consider actually playing some RPGs regularly as opposed to just fantasizing about them.


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Shebakoby
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02 Nov 2009, 2:48 am

Yeah this feeling is all too familiar. I'm at the point where I'd rather be someone's pet.



DeadFire87
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02 Nov 2009, 11:38 am

My brother is often like this. I myself just push myself into videogames and sometimes just stare off and dream of fantasy worlds while I am playing a game online or something. Its weird talent that I can do this and still manage a decent score in FPS games. :lol:



persian85033
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02 Nov 2009, 2:13 pm

I spend a lot of time alone in my room and just fantasizing, too.



Mapler
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03 Nov 2009, 12:38 am

The past four years I always drift off into the world of MapleStory. I'm STILL addicted to the MMORPG. Hell I even want to work for Nexon (the company which maintains Global MapleStory) when I grow up. Sure I have various other addictions where I space out to, also. But most of time I'm thinking about someday getting to the legendary level 200 on my Mage. :x currently level 175, should be close if I don't waste my time. I think about teleporting laps on the school track during PE. I dream of being my own character most nights. I know 97% of the in game terms. Oh yeah its bad.