I am unsure if I should attend this event

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Joined: 8 Nov 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 440
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa

01 Mar 2010, 4:20 pm

I just got word the other day that a town that I volunteered in after they had a flood in 2008 is having a Fish Fry in a couple of weeks. I am thinking about going, not just due to the fact that I like these kind of suppers, but also to see a friend that lives in this community.

The friend and I have had kind of a love-hate relationship since the flood. He was the mayor of the community at the time and I went out there to offer assistance to him and his family. It went well for about six-eight months and he sent me an e-mail out of the blue how my assistance and presence in his community was "akward". He doesn't return e-mails, telephone calls (with the exception of one), has denied my Facebook friend requests, etc. But in the couple of times that we have run into one another, the interaction has been congenial and no hard words were exchanged.

Part of the reason I would like to interact with him is due to the fact that I am thinking about running for a city council position in my own community and would like his thoughts, ideas and advice. I am also still trying to figure out why he turned on me.

First of all, should I go to this event, and second of all, should I try to seek my friend out? I would like to hear others on how to respond to this type of situation.


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Joined: 2 Mar 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,784

02 Mar 2010, 7:19 am

Hard choice.

From what I see, he doesn't want you as a "friend" but he knows to be civil when interacting with you...basic common decency there.

So, should you see the advice of someone who does not see you as a friend? Maybe. You might not get a good report, but being a friend means an inclination to tell you what you want to hear. If you go in expecting that he might not have positive things to say, you can view what he tells you with that perspective.

After all, you're more likely to hear an honest criticism from an enemy than an ally.