i don't know how to respond to these kinds of messages

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antique_toy
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20 Jun 2010, 1:32 pm

an acquaintance of mine texted me last night and it said "what's up babygurl?"
i just ignored it. what am i supposed to say? i never know what to say when someone playfully jests like that. in the past i've gotten paranoid and assumed they were just making fun of me.
what is the NT way to handle silly quirky flirty sounding messages from a friend?



mcg
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20 Jun 2010, 1:38 pm

She probably wanted to hang out or ask you some other question in a following text. Something like, "Not much, what are you up to?" would have been a reasonable response.



League_Girl
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20 Jun 2010, 1:51 pm

I have gotten these messages from aspies too and I just ignore them. I don't like that small talk and I find it pointless.



antique_toy
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20 Jun 2010, 2:03 pm

i don't understand it either :d
also he's a dude. gahh. what do i say?



spooky13
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20 Jun 2010, 2:05 pm

How about "sup dude?" LOL!!


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mcg
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20 Jun 2010, 2:21 pm

Often times texts like that are intended to serve as a lead in to another text in which the second party will express their true intentions for contacting you. They just expect you to say something and then they will get to the point.



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20 Jun 2010, 3:04 pm

:evil: Not only are those messages pointless, if your phone is prepaid, it wastes your minutes, therefore your money as well as your time.

Even in person I hate small talk queries like that, though.

"Hi, how are ya?" ,"What's up?", What's been goin' on?"

are such loaded questions, because my inclination is to answer them honestly, but I know before I do that they really don't give a rat's patoot how I am and if I tell them the truth they're going to be bored and annoyed at me for talking about something they have no interest in.

The only answer to "Howya doin'?" is "Fine." The only answer to "What's up?" is "Nothing." Those are only conversational bookends, just as "Seeya later" and "Take care" are, after they're done talking.



Sol-IV
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20 Jun 2010, 3:29 pm

Willard wrote:
The only answer to "What's up?" is "Nothing."


When someone asks me that I usually respond with 'The sky'. ^^
Not because I misunderstand the intent of the question, but merely because I think it's a strange way of phrasing it.



Amajanshi
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20 Jun 2010, 3:41 pm

Reply back "Not much, how about you?".



Polgara
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20 Jun 2010, 4:19 pm

Quote:
"Hi, how are ya?" ,"What's up?", What's been goin' on?"

are such loaded questions, because my inclination is to answer them honestly, but I know before I do that they really don't give a rat's patoot how I am and if I tell them the truth they're going to be bored and annoyed at me for talking about something they have no interest in.


You have to translate those, they are like code. Interpret them as, "I wish to acknowledge your existence, and am interested in hearing about your current situation/activities." Also, you could translate them as, "I wish to initiate a conversation with you."


Don't interpret them literally, it will drive you nuts. It's like when one kid says they love chocolate/baseball/GTA, and the other kid says, then why don't you marry it? :P



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20 Jun 2010, 4:20 pm

I wouldn't respond to the epithet 'babygurl', even if I was a baby and/or a girl.


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LostAlien
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20 Jun 2010, 4:21 pm

antique_toy wrote:
i don't understand it either :d
also he's a dude. gahh. what do i say?


I would say it's lightly an expression of interest. If you aren't interested in him that way, it's good to ignore it.



LadybugQ
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20 Jun 2010, 6:20 pm

mcg wrote:
She probably wanted to hang out or ask you some other question in a following text. Something like, "Not much, what are you up to?" would have been a reasonable response.


Precisely!

It took me the longest time to realize that not everything NT's say can/should be interpreted literally - the one phrase I had the most difficulty with is "Right around the corner"; as in "A short distance from where we are located currently".

The "BabyGurl" was probably indicating affection towards you.


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donkey_burger
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20 Jun 2010, 7:29 pm

Honestly, I find these questions hard, too. You can't always be honest and that's what makes so blatantly obvious that our society hates emotions.


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kwilky
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20 Jun 2010, 10:11 pm

That question is pointless. What's up doesn't even make any sense. Maybe you should write "the sky" in your reply. I like to do that.



book_noodles
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20 Jun 2010, 10:15 pm

Moog wrote:
I wouldn't respond to the epithet 'babygurl', even if I was a baby and/or a girl.

Thank you :lol: Neither would I.


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