Do other people communicate with you differently?

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I sometimes am talked down to I don't know if this is to do with being silent a lot of the time, problems with showing facial expression or occasional difficulty speaking (I have a slight speech impedament which comes out more when I am tired or stressed).

Also do people feel that they need other people to talk to them differently. I personally am borderline autistic and have very bad problems with working memory, this results in problems with social imagination (whereas most people will narrow down the possible options for dealing with a situation, I will think of several options and have problems choosing the right one. In some situations I will not be able to think about any options). And then at other times I am perfectly ok.
Do people have ways that they deal with their difficulties in communication? If so what are these?

When I worked at a resteraunt I would bust my but to get things done faster and better than the rest of the misfits that worked with me. I made it a point to do better than my tormentors. The boss would make a big deal about this even the tone of his voice would change when I did a great job. He never use to use this tone of voice with the other employees who just did enough to keep from being fired. One day a waitress brought in her downsyndrom child he did something that impressed the boss and the boss made a big deal about using the same tone that he used with me when I did better than anyone else. Then I relised he was excited about me doing better than the other employees like he would for a ret*d doing something. He must of thought I was slow or something. Even the dumb s**t employee caught on to this and used it to torment me further. It was the last time I busted my but just so he would not use that tone of voice with me.

When I was in 9th grade we had a gym teacher who thought I was mentally slow. Right before our gym class was a group mentally handicapped class that was using the gym. We all saw how he talked to the ret*d kids and everyone noticed thats how this idiot talked to me and not anyone else in the class. He was talking to me just like I was a ret*d kid and everyone was laughing at me because of it so I snapped and I told him I have an above average IQ do not talk to me like I was a ret*d or something. The class loved it demanding the gym teacher should take an IQ test to see if he had what it takes to talk down to me. He refused and gave me a referal writing me up so I complained that the way he was talking to me was setting me up for riddicule and further abuse. He was told not to speak to me like that anymore and I should tell on him if he does it again.

It may be interesting what I experience on my work, when I have social interaction with my colleagues and with the pupils (14-18 years old) at school.

Many colleagues like to make jokes with me more than with other colleagues. They are especially jokes that I understand quickly and had to smile or laugh about it. It is generally true that I smile often and laugh easily, more than an everage colleague does.

The behaviour of teenage boys can be nasty towards me, but not in the last one or two years at my work. Boys are getting friendly when they notice that I am not stressed, but relaxed instead. Teenage girls are very friendly, but sometimes flirtatious. They sometimes find me cool, relaxed, funny, intelligent, smart, sexy, kissable. The last two words are questionable and are close to sexual harassment though. Girls like to chat with me more than with other colleagues. They also find me weird or distant, or how do I call it? They sometimes feel less social connection with me, than with others, sometimes. When there are colleagues in the hall (where there are some girls) I am the only one they greet. The other colleagues are ignored.

Colleagues tell me that I am very popular to colleagues and to female pupils. Then I wonder: How can an autistic be popular to NTs? When they say so, they must be right, I guess.

Yep. That is why I am sometimes distant (or what is the right word) from them. I never go to parties for pupils to avoid problems. When a schoolgirl is calling me, I don't come to her, but stand still. Then she can ask one question which I will answer. After that I stop listening to her and continue walking. That is a way to express the distance between her and me.

It really does depend on the person. The staff at my care home all know that I have difficulty hearing them, difficulty processing what they are saying and difficulty communicating exactly what I want (I often forget what I am saying part way through a sentence). They speak to me like I am 'normal' however they slow down and exaggerate their lip movements slightly as they know I lip-read better than hear.

Out in public, people are fine talking to me until they hear me speak (I tend to struggle with consonants when I get nervous and my toungue literally ties up!) then they often speak to me like I am a dumb-a**e. A lot of people take one look at my hearing aids and assume that they need to shout at me so I can hear them... yeah great, distort your voices even more (plus I have HYPERACUSIS NOT HEARING LOSS!! !) so that annoys me too. I do try to hide my hearing aids to some degree to avoid this problem!

Although it can sometimes seem insulting when people speak to me slowly, I prefer it because it gives me longer to think about what they are saying. They don't change their tone in a condescending way either which helps. It amazes me that people still don't know that not all people with hearing aids/speech problems are not dumb.

One guy in my drama class is profoundly deaf. He lip reads and has a BSL interpreter. I treat him no different from anyone else, in fact the only thing I do is open my mouth a bit more so my lips aren't so difficult to read (I often mumble ). This other girl, she's nice but a bit... dippy, asked his BSL tutor if he could understand her if she spoke to him then the first thing she said to him was, 'you're not stupid though are you?' which I nearly fell off my chair laughing at! What a question to ask! I get people's ignorance in that way too!

Sorry about the long post. I am on a roll today

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )