How do people drink moderately?

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I keep trying so hard to not drink or drink moderately. Everytime I'm around of people who are drinking, I notice that many don't have to drink so much in order so socialize.

I've had a history 0f drinking problems. I can't seem to drink one, two, or three amounts or shots of beer of vodka. My dad and many other members of the family have told me they've had the same issues. It seems whenever I discuss this with anyone, it's either don't drink or drink moderately.

How does one do it? I feel completely akward and knowingly been judged whenever I've tried this. I've had a great deal of judgement even amongst those who were sober that there was something wrong with me. Should I just stay away from ppl like this? What do you do?

Just drink less? Decide beforehand how much you're going to consume, and stick to it.

Maybe stay away from the harder spirits like vodka, as well. They give you shots of drunkeness that might not hit you until you've already consumed the next one, so you lose control of your own inebriation. Stick to a regular, lower dosage (like wine or beer) so that you can stop when you feel suitably drunk.

In my opinion, the aim of drinking isn't to get completely wasted, throw up, pass out or lose control of yourself. It's just to lower inhibitions a little and make yourself more open to new things.

I believe the substance, whatever it is, triggers some kind of OCD behavior in the brain. I think it's chemical and largely beyond your control. The more you have of the substance the weaker your resolve will be. I have been there a thousand times. Just one loosens you up enough to rationalize just two and after three you just don't care. It sucks, but there you go.

If I have money and go into the bar or whatever, I only bring "just enough" in the way of cash. I find that if you bring too much in you of course will end up buying more to drink.

Regardless though I have enough controll in the first place that I usually only order one or two drinks regardless (unless its certain beer brews).

I agree with the restriction of money - take cash (not credit/debit) and limit yourself to $10 buck (or whatever, depending on what you're drinking). Try drinking a coke or water in between each drink - it will fill your stomach a bit and allow pacing of the alcholic drinks.
As for others judging - I usually just say that I'm pacing myself, as I have to drive home. Or, if I don't drink at all, I say/volunteer to be the designated driver for everyone.

I've noticed that being around others who are drinking tends to spur me to drink more than I really need to - partly cause I'm nervous around people and partly cause it gives me something else to focus on besides trying to join the conversations, or feeling stupid because I'm not saying anything, etc., etc.

Recently I decided to take one month off from drinking completely. I wasn't drinking a ton at that point, but I think the experience helped me to be sensitive to how the alcohol affects me - instead of drinking kinda mindlessly. Now I can notice how fuzzy my head gets and how tired my body feels after just one drink. So now I tend to drink far less and if I find I'm wanting to drink more cause I'm feeling like I'm not doing anything else, I try to make it water, not alcohol.

When I don't want to drink, I just drink sodas. Bartenders and waitresses don't mind since I tip. No one else really notices.

Put it in front of me and I will drink more and more of it, even if I'm not thirsty. This goes for water, coffee, diet soda, and of course, beer. I might be a social drinker if I were social, which I'm mostly not. After a while of having beer in front of me, I probably have more than I should, and I'm likely to drink more if I am out on a "social" gathering than if I'm alone. Regulating how much I drink is much easier if I don't have the nervousness that goes with being around people and I don't have to choose between finishing off the rest of the container or wasting it.

At the end of the day it sounds like you may just be one of those people with a pre-disposition to alcohol dependency if you are exposed to it. By how you describe the situation being a common trait amongst your family it does raise that as a possibility.

I guess you need to find people who don't see alcohol as some kind of means to an end as part of their social life. It depends I mean here in the UK I've seen people who choose not to drink usually have nasty remarks made about them being weak willed or not being able to trust a person who can't handle their drink. I don't know what differs in US drinking habits that would be considered taboo.

I guess the key is to be around people you are comfortable with who can bring you out of your shell of social awkwardness. I guess it helps to have extraverted friends who have a natural out going persona who don't drink (cant buy them in the shop sadly) easier said then done really.

Everywhere seems to have differnt attitudes towards drinking so its difficult to say what would help really.

Whats a 'moderate' buzz? I've never been able to determine that.

For me the issue was pacing. I had to learn to consume at a fairly measured, even pace, so I wasn't obliterated before the evening was concluded.

I remember the first few times I drank alcohol, I did what many first time drinkers do, I consumed so much so fast, I poisoned my system and got violently ill. So I consciously taught myself to pay attention to my body's own signals and slow the eff down, or even stop altogether if it seemed to be getting out of control.

Eventually I found the right pace and learned my limits. Of course I rarely go out and socialize like that anymore, so now when I feel I've had just the right amount...I go to bed.

That's something I was rarely able to do because I was always so anxious socially that I would be puffing furiously or slinging them back just to keep my mouth and hands occupied. I guess it was kind of a stim (a calming one) in a way. Plus I'm a big baby.

I can't see how people enjoy drinking alcohol if the purpose isn't to get drunk or loosen up. It tastes gross. If someone offers me a "wine with my meal" I will always refuse. I'll have something that doesn't taste like turps

Exactly. For me, the only reason to drink alcohol is to get drunk, and I do it very seldomly.

Well i tried to post on this thread earlier but, apparently the internet ate it up I try to limit myself to one drink with the main course if I'm drinking when I'm dining out.

Alcohol's a drug that works in 2 seperate ways because of how it's metabolised.

In smaller amounts, it's not the alcohol that has the main effect, it's one of the chemicals that alcohol is converted into, as it passes through a chain of chemical reactions, breaking the molecule into successively smaller parts. That is the socialising, inhibition removing effect.

In larger amounts you end up with so much alcohol in your body, that your digestive process can't keep up, and the alcohol itself starts to have the main effect, which is a depressant, inebriating you and inhibiting your ability to think clearly, feel sensations properly, or control your movements.

The trick is to find out at about what point you start to become stupid and clumsy, and then stop drinking until the social effects start to wear off.

Of course the problem is that alcohol also causes dehydration, so you'll be thirsty and want to drink more. If you've gone into the inebriated stage, you might not be able to make the right judgement, and just go and get a soft drink instead, because the loosening of inhibitions, along with inability to think clearly, ends up with you thinking it's OK to do things, you wouldn't otherwise.


Anyone saying that a person who doesn't drink is either weak willed or not to be trusted is quite simply an idiot. Some people can't risk getting drunk, because when they lose their inhibitions in combination with having their reasoning impaired, they end up doing stupid and dangerous things (and I'm guessing aspies may fall into that group, having to restrain ourselves frequently, and having so much more reasoning to have impaired). Would you really want the thing you trust a drinking person to do, to be stripping naked and picking fights with everyone in sight? That is in fact what the weak willed would do, not standing up to the aforementioned idiot.


If you haven't found a drink you like and everything you've tried so far has tasted foul, you haven't tried enough. There's a huge enough variation in just lager that a lot of them are bad, with only a couple standing out as good, without even going into the various kinds of ale, stout and bitter of about the same strength (and then you have bottled beers being better than cans, and draught being better still).

With wines the variation is probably even bigger, and the huge majority of wine is utter crap, but when you find a good one, you'll definately appreciate it. The difference can be as subtle as the year it was produced, due to amount of sun and rain, how long it's aged, and what kind of wood the barrels were made of, or the quality of the cork if it's aged in bottle, the valley the grapes were grown in (even being one over from another vinyard), or a different grape variety (the best way to get variation between wines).

With spirits, there's an endless combination of mixers and cocktails, some of which you wouldn't even guess had alcohol in them.

I'd say most of what I've drunk has been OK for getting drunk, with maybe 1-2% of it actually being something I'd drink because it tastes nice, but it is worth finding them (especially in combination with the right foods).

I'd suggest that wine which tastes like "turps" (which I take to mean turpentine) does not deserve to be called "wine." Trust me on this - there are some wonderful tasting wines out there. polarity speaks of this in a bit more depth.