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NextDoorLunatic
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13 Aug 2012, 8:41 am

All the time, and it's extremely annoying. I'm always on the verge of saying that I've been talking too much during my childhood and if I say more then one hundred words per minute my worn-out, flimsy vocal chords are going to rip; just to confuse the enquirer. Also, it would probably avert the (usually) following "don't be so shy, you just need to be a little more outgoing".
But since I haven't done this so far I guess I'll stick to sying that I'm just not a talkative person (which, actually, isn't true; when I'm with very good friends, or tipsy, or both I talk quiete a lot). The thing is that whenever I tried to be more chatty in kindergarden and school a lot of people would make fun of me because I'm usually talking at a very fast pace, use words nobody else my age (or anybody's age) uses and when something totally unexpected happens I am sometimes hard to understand because I don't know what to say and therefore just ejaculate key words... or I stutter lightly.



CrazyStarlightRedux
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13 Aug 2012, 9:27 am

Only had this a few times in life...more so recently as I lost some self esteem.

At work I just say I'm just working (I am talking to myself usually).

Never had it at school, in fact, I seemed to make more noise instead when I was rebellious in primary, bullied in another primary school and was too talkative about crap in High School.


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Keon
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25 Oct 2012, 10:00 am

I hate when people call you in introvert just because you "seem quiet to them". People don't understand what it's like to be as aspie unless you lived life as an aspie. They don't understand how confused I get when I talk to people because I very rarely unless 100% of what someone is trying to tell me. It's easier just to be quiet and listen to what others say. Plus, being social uses up WAY too much mental energy. After I'm done having a conversation with someone, I usually feel tired. My brain has to work so hard to not only keep up with verbal communication, but also to reply to what others say to me.

Aspies think in pictures. As stupid as it sounds, it would be so much easier to be a Teletubbie (a fictional character in a learning show for toddlers and very young children) and simply display what I'm thinking of on a screen on my stomach. It would save me LOADS of time trying to convert those pictures into words. lol


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nuttyengineer
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25 Oct 2012, 10:14 pm

Keon wrote:
I hate when people call you in introvert just because you "seem quiet to them". People don't understand what it's like to be as aspie unless you lived life as an aspie. They don't understand how confused I get when I talk to people because I very rarely unless 100% of what someone is trying to tell me. It's easier just to be quiet and listen to what others say. Plus, being social uses up WAY too much mental energy. After I'm done having a conversation with someone, I usually feel tired. My brain has to work so hard to not only keep up with verbal communication, but also to reply to what others say to me.


^ This

I can't stand it when people comment on how quiet I am. Especially because I usually follow the philosophy that I will only contribute to a conversation when I have something intelligent to add to it. That and the words usually come out of my mouth in the wrong order or something to that effect and confuses everyone, myself included.


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Jediyoda
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26 Oct 2012, 12:13 am

My friend who is AS is very quiet I'm the opposite very loud.



Holmesian
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29 Oct 2012, 4:17 pm

Lucky for me, I'm prone to colds. Either I have a sore throat because I'm getting one or I'm getting over one. Therefore, safe.
But back in high school...UGH. I thought of a lot of good replies, but the only thing I ever did was stare at them or walk away. I think some people thought I was a serial killer in hiding.


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lazamb_girl
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31 Oct 2012, 3:46 am

This is a really irritating question indeed. Also people try all kinds of stuff to make me talk, end up pushing me till I snap and I am rude to them.
A lot of times I don't want to talk. Sometimes I don't have anything to say that will add to the current discussion. I don't like to talk to simply verbally agree to what others are saying.I also get irritated when people just agree and add nothing new but do it with so much confidence as though they are putting forward some great argument.
But when I feel strongly about some issue, I do verbalise my thoughts big time and ramble on. But people do not want to hear me constructing arguments anyway. I hate shallow discussions.
ok I will try and stop rambling now.


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ANicL
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01 Nov 2012, 4:08 am

That is the worst thing somebody could say to me, i just say, "i dont know"



Kiseki94
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01 Nov 2012, 9:00 am

I'm really quiet in class because I like to pay close attention to the lecture. I'm also afraid of coming off as annoying. Until I figure out the personalities of the people I'm around, I will stay quiet. When I get comfortable with other people, I like to talk and have fun. I just don't like it when people are really loud and obnoxious.



roccoslife
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01 Nov 2012, 1:18 pm

Ive been "that quiet guy" my whole life. f*****g hate when people point it out. Im a nice guy ffs, just because Im not always chatting bollocks about every thought that comes into my head doesnt make that any less true.


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qwertyuiop1994
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01 Nov 2012, 2:31 pm

Yeah I get asked that question, It's really hard to answer.



Joe90
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01 Nov 2012, 5:24 pm

I often worry about this all the time. It makes me become afraid to meet new people, in case they think that just because I'm quiet it means I'm strange. A lot of people (mostly confident extroverts) seem to get muddled up with shyness and unfriendliness, and they automatically believe a shy individual to be strange when we're clearly not.

If my mum goes to a social event where she's met a lot of different people, she comes back and talks about some that she has met and often says, ''[name] was a bit strange'', and I ask why, and she says, ''well, he/she didn't really talk to anybody.'' I just hope that's just my mum's way of describing someone who is typically shy, and not everybody's word they call people who are shy. It puts me off.

Sometimes I don't always like visiting my grandmother with Alzheimer's in the mornings, because her carers are there and I feel I have to make conversation with them. Luckily my grandmother is a chatty person, but because she's got Alzheimer's, they don't really expect her to talk too much and they expect me to instead, being a young woman, and I'm afraid they might consider me weird because I don't really speak. So I don't just mean social events, but I mean situations like this where I feel obliged to make conversation. Lucky I'm not a hairdresser that goes to people's houses. I'd feel incredibly awkward!


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AndreasF
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03 Nov 2012, 4:07 pm

Is "why are you so quite" ment to be rude?

I often get that question too - or a similar one; "are you okay?".
For years I've been thinking of why I don't work that well in social situations and when people asked me the above questions.
I felt they were concerned about me as it isn't normal for a person to be that quiet/shy. At least it isn't for NT's.

Recently I found out I was diagnosed AS at the age of ten - and that explains it to me.

From my point of view, when people ask that, it's because they don't know I'm an aspie.
Depending on the situation I tell people why I'm quiet - which usually works as an icebreaker in to a subject I'm comfortable talking about, which will make me talk a LOT more easily ;-)

In their world I'm different - and they ask because they don't know, not to be rude.
And hey - I am different, my diagnosis says so ;-)

Don't use AS as an excuse to be different, use it as an explation to people who are curious and concerning.


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noxnocturne
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08 Nov 2012, 1:39 pm

I've had this question asked of me several times. Honestly, I'm quiet because I really don't feel like talking. Around close friends and family, yes, but if you're a complete stranger, forget it. I don't tallk.



lostmyself
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08 Nov 2012, 1:46 pm

I'm not quiet but when not in the mood I don't talk. I like listening better than talking sometimes.

But I get asked why I am quiet all the time..



Sweetleaf
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08 Nov 2012, 2:05 pm

Well either I feel nervous and awkward so I just can't think of much to say. Or I can't think of anything that's not really dark or depressing to talk about and give the impression of being a total downer that is best to avoid.


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