Do I disclose to bridesmaids...and Dad

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I'm getting married next May which could be quite difficult with all the people, arrangements etc. I'm wondering whether to tell my bridesmaids that I might have mild Asperger's. It is a recent thing for me, although there is apparently no funding for a diagnosis. The 2 bridesmaids are not local and I see a few times a year. I started thinking about a hen do, then went into (I think) a meltdown as I realised I'd forgotten my bridesmaid's birthday and posted a late card (I forgot the other one's birthday recently and did the same) and it sort of epitomised how I struggle with friendships and not entirely sure who I could invite as most people I know are through my partner, or acquaintances that seem to like me but I've barely socialised with. I invited her to my birthday so feel a little put out she has not invited me-although no idea what she is even doing.

1 recently told me that she was having treatment for an eating disorder and I visited her in hospital. The other is very popular and confident and I'm worried my weirdness will drive her away e.g. issues using the phone, driving to new places and I once got upset seemingly for no reason when I misspelt something in a board game in front of 3 people (I could spell in my head grr) and she told me I lost the point.
The other person is my Dad. I'm sure he, my aunt, uncle and possibly my cousins have it to some degree but I speak to my Dad a few times a year and not deep conversations (he once talked about shaving products for 20 minutes at me-clearly AS ) They will all be at the wedding.

So far I have told my boss and 2 close coworkers (they talk about close issues about themselves, and it is medical and we work in a hospital, and I've had time off work for appointments), my Mum and my partner. I'm thinking under the stress of a big social occasion when the behaviour might come out, maybe the bridesmaids could help, or be more involved in the hen do which I would struggle with.

I don't think telling them your diagnosis, per se, is what is needed, but explaining to them the specific difficulties you have. If they have volunteered as bridesmaids, then they have agreed to help you with what you need in putting things together, including some of the more atypical needs you might have because of your particular wiring. Using the term Asperger's, particularly since some of them may or may not necessarily be a big part of your circle, might confuse them more than help them with this, based on what preconceived notions they may have about what Asperger's is. They do need to know things like you might need to take sensory breaks, or at times could use a "buffer" between you and crowds of people.

Some other advice, which I hope is not overreaching:
This wedding belongs to you and your future spouse. Don't do anything just because it's tradition or members of your family expect it of you. Make the ceremony that is most beautiful to you.
Try to meet as many of your SO's family as you can in a more informal, one on one setting before the wedding, so you won't have to adjust to so many new people all at one time.
As far as sensory breaks, perhaps there could be ways to schedule parts of the post-ceremony where you can be alone/ with just your spouse for ten minute breaks to recalibrate. Ask your bridesmaids for ideas.
If you have a hard time with finding the "right" social responses, get advice from people you know well, and find ways to practice ahead of time. If you can, give yourself additional time in the process of wedding rehearsal to just become comfortable with the places involved, if you aren't already. You might suggest this to your family members with AS as well.
Big events can be overwhelming for people on the spectrum, and be disappointing in terms of how it is vs. how you imagined it could be, yet these hopes naturally help to sustain people as well, so when you deal with what might be more awkward moments, think about how beautiful it will be doing simple things together as spouses, or the thought of laughing together at some of the stranger moments.
Let everyone know that you are happy they are there, and that you understand if they would rather express their joy more privately, rather than feel they have to make speeches, etc.
Give yourself permission to feel overwhelmed. Plenty of people, both NT or neurodivergent, burst into tears at their weddings. Even if a meltdown occurs, just know a safe place there to let it run its course, and continue when you can. One meltdown won't end a wedding, any more than any other snafus that occur when planning something like this. Love can be perfect (I hope,) but event planning is always a messy art.

Caveat, all this advice comes from a long-term bachelor who has had melt-downs at his friends' weddings, in spite of their being very informal events (people wearing pirate and faerie outfits, the preacher in tie-dyed clothes, and me performing the wedding music.)

Best of luck to you.

I agree, don't disclose, just be specific on specific things you want. They might be overwhelmed by your requests, so maybe be prepared to give them the option not to be bridesmaids if that's still possible?! It might be a good idea to get a wedding coordinator (or two?) to help you out and potentially save you a lot of stress.