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willa
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01 Oct 2010, 11:31 pm

A good friend of mine for the last nearly 2 years cut all ties with me.


To keep it simple, she lied about something, I caught her in said lie but didnt tell her that I did. She found out I knew, got pissed off, cut all ties with me (blocked me off everything we were friends on, facebook, last.fm, good reads etc etc.) Accused me of breaking her trust and taking action that could not be reversed and wants no communication with me ever again.

The long of it is I asked her if she was blogging cause i was starting one up. She said no. Through tumblr i came across her blog she said she didnt have (it didnt take long, all the people i followed were ones she linked me throughout the years so it was literally just a few hours of browsing before coming across stuff from her through reblogging and liking and realizing it was her cause obviously it linked to her last.fm and twitter).

I didnt think anything of it, i mean we are(were) friends on like everything else conceivable and she obviously wanted her privacy.

She also wanted it so much, her privacy, that she was tracking IPs and knew I visited. My big mistake was that I did go through her posts, I was curious to see what she wanted to keep away from me (which did end up being nothing, almost everything on there was also posted to her facebook, nothing new.) I mean but she lied to me and I was kind of hurt.

The next day her blog was gone (when i figured she was tracking visitors) but of course almost imidiately I came across it through similar follows and just random browsing. Then the day after is when I find out i've gotten the axe on everything.

I send her a probing email inquiring what was up and the jist of the reply was "there are some lessons you need to learn, once trust is broken it cant be repaired, actions have consequences that can not be turned back and google analytics is a powerful tool"

I mean ya, i sneakily came across her blog and didnt say anything but she broke my trust, she lied to me first. Why does she get to try and put herself up on the pedestal like she was the person betrayed?

I want to just clean my hands of the situation and count my loses and move on. But she's been a good friend and in all it's really not that big of a deal what happened, I didnt care about being lied to, it was insignificant. But what she said to me was very strongly put and I can't get over it.

oh ya, p.s. First post in like 9 months for me, hi all!


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Chronos
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01 Oct 2010, 11:58 pm

Honestly it seems to me if someone were such good friends with someone and didn't have any pent up negativity or resentments towards them, they wouldn't lie about such a thing in the first place.

Also, if she didn't want certain people to read her blog, she shouldn't have had a public one.
If she didn't want people to know it was her writing the blog, she shouldn't have linked everything to it.

I think you're the one who has the right to be upset, not her. She is acting how she is acting because she is not big enough to have been honest with you in the first place and take responsibility for herself, and it might sound horrible but she probably saw this as an easy way out of the "friendship"



bigcoop
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02 Oct 2010, 12:11 am

Willa,
I can totally see where you're comming from and I've been in similar situations. I would percieve this as you being taken advantage of. Personally alot of people in my life know I will jump over hurdles to help them out and get really down if i feel like i've hurt them. They perceive situations and events in a way that makes them look better and make me look like a jerk.(when I should know I'm not) I think it's just a part of human nature, double standards are set by so many people, to where they always win. I would try not to read into the situation too much, as tempting as it is. I realize it's easier said then done but A) she chose not to be straight forward about a situation she could've easily approached you with B) I'm Sure you have more productive things to do and C) she chose to lie to you and is putting blame on you that you do not deserve. Friendships can be so confusing and people can act in a way i dont understand. I hope this helps and hope the situation resolves.

Cooper



willa
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02 Oct 2010, 1:35 am

Chronos wrote:
and it might sound horrible but she probably saw this as an easy way out of the "friendship"


nah, not horrible sounding. Pretty much the scenario i'm too afraid to own up to.


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?It's a sad thing not to have friends, but it is even sadder not to have enemies.? - El Che