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MizLiz
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01 Oct 2010, 11:12 am

This is especially bad on the phone. They'll be like talk. And I'll just be...



"........"

Because I genuinely have nothing (appropriate) to say. What can I do about it?


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Asp-Z
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01 Oct 2010, 11:20 am

I get this all the time. That's why I only really enjoy talking to chatty people who can keep the conversation going.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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01 Oct 2010, 12:48 pm

You don't want to try too hard. In zen-like fashion, let an awkward gap simply be an awkward gap.



MizLiz
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01 Oct 2010, 2:21 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
I get this all the time. That's why I only really enjoy talking to chatty people who can keep the conversation going.

Ordinarily, I can't stand the chatterboxes but when I have to talk to someone on the phone I'm fine with letting them take over the conversation. I just wish I had more to contribute so they wouldn't feel so.... like they're talking to themselves.

Then again, every NT I've ever met has come across as fairly narcissistic anyway.


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MizLiz
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03 Oct 2010, 4:31 pm

Bump.


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Lecks
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03 Oct 2010, 5:10 pm

I fill in those awkward gaps with "anything else?" which usually prompts them to go on another rant or end the conversation themselves.



Justifine
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04 Oct 2010, 2:19 am

Asp-Z wrote:
I get this all the time. That's why I only really enjoy talking to chatty people who can keep the conversation going.


As an NT who dated an Aspie, I remember how awkward our first dates were. I was extremely chatty, not because I wanted to be or was comfortable being that way, but because I felt those awkward pauses and they made me uncomfortable. Trust me, on dates, Aspies aren't the only ones who have to battle conversation issues and be comfortable. It goes both ways. My best advice to an Aspie when struggling to find what to talk about is... something Aspergers individuals tend to hate, which is talking about the other person. When all else fails, ask the person questions about them that you want to know. From my experience, an Aspie has no trouble asking a million questions about any topic that interests them. Try to apply that same line of questioning to the person you are conversing with, it'll go a long way in making it appear you are interested and it will also keep them interested. That's a good tip in general for people who have trouble socially, because human beings by nature are more interested in meeting people who care about them than who talk about random impersonal things. The more you ask a person about themselves, the more it piques their interest in you.