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Mootoo
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02 Oct 2010, 12:31 pm

First off, sorry if this is in the wrong section of the forum, I couldn't see anything more appropriate.

So, I've always had incredibly weird sexual feelings. When I was young especially I was extremely shy of even taking my shirt off, as most of my gender do, and soon I found out that I even liked seeing members from my gender do that (only after a while did I finally realize that was called homosexuality... not that I didn't know of the definition). Today, as a young adult, all I have is fantasies, and never did I even remotely come close to getting any possible sexual activity with people I really like. I guess that's only natural considering I barely have any friends.

Has anyone felt that? I know there can be even wilder sexual feelings, but lately I've been thinking that AS may have complicated my life as it did, in this context. I've read something about people with AS either being extremely conservative, or just wild with their sexual fantasies... I've kind of experienced both, in a very desperate manner.



SteelMaiden
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02 Oct 2010, 12:36 pm

I've never had a single sexual feeling in my life and my AS friend hasn't either. I would be interested to see if there is a connection with AS/autism spectrum and lack of "sexual appetite"


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Mootoo
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02 Oct 2010, 12:44 pm

I did read recently that people with AS may be asexual (at the very least, sex has no joy for them) and that if they do desire it (some people have even be called sex maniacs) it's because they have an obsession (and people with AS are renowned for their obsessions, I think). In my case, some may be obsessions but since it's been a regular pattern since childhood I think it might be something more innate than that.



Asp-Z
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02 Oct 2010, 3:22 pm

Mootoo wrote:
I did read recently that people with AS may be asexual (at the very least, sex has no joy for them) and that if they do desire it (some people have even be called sex maniacs) it's because they have an obsession (and people with AS are renowned for their obsessions, I think). In my case, some may be obsessions but since it's been a regular pattern since childhood I think it might be something more innate than that.


If he has sexual fantasies, I doubt he's asexual. I don't believe there's any connection between asexuality and Asperger's anyway.



Laz
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02 Oct 2010, 4:21 pm

Not a direct connection as such. But people with conditions that affect the physical development of genitals and gender characteristics (the most extreme being Hermaphrodyte for example) are found to have a high level of asperger diagnosis in a much more exajerated way then the mainstream population...

So read into that what you will, or have a read of all the articles out there about AS and trans gender



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02 Oct 2010, 4:34 pm

From what I know/have read people who have AS tend to not experience sexuality of perceive it the same way NT's generally do. (This is VERY GENERAL description)


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Metal_Man
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02 Oct 2010, 6:38 pm

Peko wrote:
From what I know/have read people who have AS tend to not experience sexuality of perceive it the same way NT's generally do. (This is VERY GENERAL description)

We probably perceive sexuality differently from NT's but sexuality can vary greatly amongst NT's also. I have always been 100% heterosexual and never was into anything kinky. My sex drive has always been quite healthy.


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Dnuos
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02 Oct 2010, 6:45 pm

I don't know. I find I have many fantasies, but I have no interest in actually doing the act with anyone...



MizLiz
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03 Oct 2010, 2:34 am

Dnuos wrote:
I don't know. I find I have many fantasies, but I have no interest in actually doing the act with anyone...

This was me with my ex. The idea of actually doing it with him...
:? 8O :( :lol: :oops:

But he could go down on me. I could jerk him off. That stuff was fine. But theidea of actual penetration freaked me the hell out. Now, I can fantasize what it would be like... but fantasizing versus doing.... eeeeeeeeek.


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ematrapsa
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03 Oct 2010, 3:46 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Mootoo wrote:
I did read recently that people with AS may be asexual (at the very least, sex has no joy for them) and that if they do desire it (some people have even be called sex maniacs) it's because they have an obsession (and people with AS are renowned for their obsessions, I think). In my case, some may be obsessions but since it's been a regular pattern since childhood I think it might be something more innate than that.


If he has sexual fantasies, I doubt he's asexual. I don't believe there's any connection between asexuality and Asperger's anyway.


Exactly. In all honesty, how many people on the Autistic spectrum would you guess convince themselves, or at least tell people, that they are asexual as a means of explaining themselves to the jockular world, the people that are always in a relationship or looking to score? It's sad, but I think this is probably the case in many instances. Maybe they tell themselves and others that they never even wanted a sexual relationship, because they believe in their heads that it is not possible for them.



Asp-Z
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03 Oct 2010, 5:20 am

ematrapsa wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Mootoo wrote:
I did read recently that people with AS may be asexual (at the very least, sex has no joy for them) and that if they do desire it (some people have even be called sex maniacs) it's because they have an obsession (and people with AS are renowned for their obsessions, I think). In my case, some may be obsessions but since it's been a regular pattern since childhood I think it might be something more innate than that.


If he has sexual fantasies, I doubt he's asexual. I don't believe there's any connection between asexuality and Asperger's anyway.


Exactly. In all honesty, how many people on the Autistic spectrum would you guess convince themselves, or at least tell people, that they are asexual as a means of explaining themselves to the jockular world, the people that are always in a relationship or looking to score? It's sad, but I think this is probably the case in many instances. Maybe they tell themselves and others that they never even wanted a sexual relationship, because they believe in their heads that it is not possible for them.


Yep, makes perfect sense considering how human nature works. Our minds will convince themselves they don't want something they don't think they can get as a coping strategy.

But even with that aside, the number of Aspies calling themselves asexual is tiny in proportion to how many Aspies there are. I don't think there's even any real correlation, and there certainly isn't any evidence of causation.



James0Zero
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09 Oct 2010, 7:59 pm

...Yeah sex actually turned into one of my obsessions. Not it in general, but more specifically being good at it. And I mean REALLY good at it.



Dnuos
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09 Oct 2010, 10:37 pm

MizLiz wrote:
Dnuos wrote:
I don't know. I find I have many fantasies, but I have no interest in actually doing the act with anyone...

This was me with my ex. The idea of actually doing it with him...
:? 8O :( :lol: :oops:

But he could go down on me. I could jerk him off. That stuff was fine. But theidea of actual penetration freaked me the hell out. Now, I can fantasize what it would be like... but fantasizing versus doing.... eeeeeeeeek.
Switching the gender around, lol, (since I'm male) it's a bit different.

I have all sorts of fantasies, sometimes I catch myself: "WHY am I thinking of that right now? Ugh, I'm in a church for crying out loud." But I have little interest in actually doing it with anyone, I'm only interested in a long-lasting relationship primarily. And at the moment the desire for a relationship doesn't even cross my mind. So I don't really care about anything. xD



Cicero
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10 Oct 2010, 8:47 pm

I feel I always had a normal sex drive for a man, from what I see around me. On the relationship side I was all bound up with fear and it took a long time for me to get that all into perspective--it think at one time it was an unhealthy obsession. I think I am on the light end of the spectrum, AS wise.



Erisad
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10 Oct 2010, 9:09 pm

I have a really low sex drive, which is just fine. I can't miss what I've never had. :lol:



James0Zero
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10 Oct 2010, 9:23 pm

Actually if I'm not mistaken women who haven't had sex have very low drives for it.


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