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Namtro
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20 Oct 2010, 10:53 am

Quite certain of the Aspies in my family but some appear to show many narcistic traits that at times drown out the aspie side of them. Anything known about that?



evapop
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20 Oct 2010, 11:49 am

I don't have a direct response to your question, but I am very curious in what folks say about it given my own theory on my family. My oldest son was diagnosed with ASD - high functioning/AS - this August. He is the spitting image of my father, who is a confirmed narcissist. However, the more I read about HFA/AS, I am beginning to question if my father is on the spectrum. He is a leather craftsman, and his focus and skill is amazing. He is also a perfectionist, known to blow up (meltdown?) at the slightest mistake in his work. He is a terrible business man, has always been awful at judging people, and growing up, we used to joke he was our mom's third child. He needs to be sheltered from life, he is pretty much incapable of basic tasks (managing the household, paying bills, etc) despite his amazing skills in leather craftsmanship, and despite wanting to be a good father, he pretty much is terrible at it. He has lots of acquaintances, and is sought out by people, but this is primarily because he is handsome, dresses very well (anally so), and acts exactly like the characters in his beloved films from the 30s and 40s (scripting?). My husband jokes that he is the original Dick Whitman/Don Draper. Everyone agrees he is eccentric and very, very self centered. Anyway, I do think that in his case, should he be on the spectrum, the narcissism would go hand in hand with it.



KissOfMarmaladeSky
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20 Oct 2010, 11:50 am

I know I'll sound strange when I say this, but, as an Aspie and a person, I am probably the opposite of narcissist. In fact, there are periods of depression (and periods when I'm not depressed) that I just generally have the lowest self-esteem that a stereotyped teen could ever have. I tend to underestimate my abilities, and, even if I'm feeling good about myself, I always think, "No, you should do this first. I'm totally inept," which seems pretty unhealthy. I'm also a perfectionist (on mostly myself; I tend to have extremely low expectations when it comes to others), so when it all comes down to it, I am an extreme example of the Anti-Narcissist.

Sorry if this offends you, but some neurotypicals may come off as narcissist to me, especially the ones in my class. They often say that they are better than X at Y in everything, that they're better looking than E, that everyone else is ret*d, that sort of thing, and they generally just think that they're better than other people, even if the other person is extremely intelligent in other areas. Neurotypical adults mostly seem to hold an unhealthy amount of narcissism towards people who learn differently, so they say, "I'm going to teach the ones who have more aptitude over here, while I'll teach the struggling birds over there," which, from my own personal experiences, translates to, "Let's teach the ones who are copies of us, and anyone who is different is a disease/plague/pestilence," showing their narcissist, "I'm way better than you," traits subtlely, so only what they consider "pestilences" seem to pick up a narcisstic personality.


I'm sorry if it sounds offensive! I don't think you're a narcissist, whether you are neurotypical, someone with Asperger's or Autism, or some other neurological "difference". Oh, and remind me not to apologize too often...I'm still working on that...



Asp-Z
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20 Oct 2010, 12:14 pm

Everyone is prone to narcissism. That is to say, all groups of people are.



Pistonhead
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20 Oct 2010, 12:39 pm

I am, but that's cause I'm better than everyone else :lol:


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glider18
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20 Oct 2010, 1:22 pm

After I was diagnosed with AS in November of 2008, I did what I think a lot of us do after the diagnosis---question the diagnosis. Narcissism was one of the things I felt like I couldn't rule out. I even made an appointment with my therapist over it. I ended up learning that my narcissism traits were below average, and that the so-called "normal" person was more narcissistic than I was.

On my journey of discovery I came to realize just how much AS fits me---and that it is the correct diagnosis. My therapist, who specializes in AS, also told me after my questioning, "you have Asperger's."

After reading in books by such notables as Temple Grandin and Michael Carley, I found certain things (though I can't find them at the moment) in their experiences that seem to indicate some narcissistic traits.

I am interested in hearing more debate on this topic. I hope some of you further research this and post what you learn.

And I have to agree with Asp-Z in your comment, "Everyone is prone to narcissism. That is to say, all groups of people are."


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Peko
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20 Oct 2010, 2:13 pm

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/narcissism

I'd say an aspie can't technically fit into the true definition of a narcissist unless they actually feel they are the most important person EVER. Now, I can see why an aspie/autie may come off as such b/c we tend to not be able to look at things from another person's perspective to an extreme degree. So I'd say the synonym of self-centeredness would be more appropriate but it should be recognized that this is unintentional. Also... some people may find this offensive but "excessive self-love" may be a good way to explain why someone on the spectrum may refuse to date :wink:.


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teflon_woman
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25 Oct 2010, 12:30 am

I have wondered about this too. Last year I happened to be reading about personality disorders and when I read about narcissistic personality disorder I was horrified because it sounded so much like me (or at least me when I was younger)... or was that just because one of the key traits is lack of empathy? I have often been told that I come across as arrogant, and my hyperrational thinking might sometimes seems from my perspective to be superior to the absurd irrationality that neurotypicals seem to prize.
Chances are there's no simple answer?



aspi-rant
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25 Oct 2010, 12:52 am

many aspies are often misdiagnosed as having a narcissistic personality disorder...

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html