Do you get impatient when waiting for correspondence?

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23 Oct 2010, 12:49 pm

Have you ever gotten impatient after with the wait for someone to respond to correspondence that you have sent them?

I wrote a friend I haven't talked to a quite a few years a message a few days ago on Facebook. I have been obsessively checking Facebook to see if he has responded yet, including at work (where Facebook is a no no). I do know that people do get busy and/or don't check their Facebook accounts that often.

If people on here have problems with this, how do you counter it? I don't necesarly want to resend the message, I feel that might come off as too needy and pushy. How do I also deal with the compulsive Facebook usage? I was just writing him for the purpose of idle chit chat and his perspective on a situation.

OddFiction
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23 Oct 2010, 1:03 pm

I often find I can't advance on a project when I've asked another person for input, until they've replied... even if there's other steps in the project that I could probably tackle. So yes, I hate waiting.. feel like I'm a plane circling endlessly waiting for permission to land...

Have you tried to send him an email directly to his email account? I have a facebook account I haven't been to in 6 months. But I check my email at least twice a week (Sundays and Tuesdays). Some people just aren't excited about facebook.

TechnicalPacifist
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23 Oct 2010, 1:03 pm

Oh yes, impatient indeed.. :roll:

theWanderer
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23 Oct 2010, 3:34 pm

OddFiction wrote:

This is exactly what happens to me.

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chainsawswinger
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23 Oct 2010, 5:28 pm

passionatebach wrote:

You just gotta wait my friend.

Usually when corresponding back and forth, you ALWAYS wait for the other person to respond first before you send them anything again, otherwise yes, it does look pushy and needy. The one exception to this rule is if you're simply amending what you wrote or if you're adding details, but careful with doing that unless necessary, because people can see right through that trick and will just feel pestered.

Contact some other people to occupy yourself in the meantime. If this guy is as bad with keeping in touch with people as I am (and I'm an NT), good luck, because it could be a while. :wink:

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Kaysea
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23 Oct 2010, 9:42 pm

Yes

Who_Am_I
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24 Oct 2010, 6:58 am

Nah. Anxious.

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PunkyKat
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28 Oct 2010, 7:48 pm

YES!

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Last edited by PunkyKat on 29 Oct 2010, 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

katzefrau
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28 Oct 2010, 10:20 pm

yes. i go crazy. i don't like loose ends, questions that have not been or cannot be answered, anything there is no certainty about.

plus i often have no ability to discern whether i have acted appropriately toward other people so if someone doesn't respond to me or their response doesn't directly address what i have said or asked, i get really anxious wondering whether it is because something i've done was inappropriate or was misinterpreted.

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bee33
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28 Oct 2010, 10:28 pm

katzefrau wrote:

i get really anxious wondering whether it is because something i've done was inappropriate or was misinterpreted.

I worry about that too, that I've committed some unknown faux pas. I'm never sure if I should have been less friendly, more friendly, less casual, more casual, and, most often, I worry that I said something too personal about how I'm feeling that put the other person off or made me look too needy, or that I was glomming onto them to unload my problems. I usually err on the side of not sending messages at all.

I also have trouble figuring out when an email conversation is over and when I should no longer reply. Sometimes I make the mistake of not replying, and sometimes I reply and get no response, which makes me think I failed to realize that that conversation was over.

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28 Oct 2010, 11:39 pm

bee33 wrote:

katzefrau wrote:

i get really anxious wondering whether it is because something i've done was inappropriate or was misinterpreted.

I am the same way, for the first day or two after sending an email i get all fidgety (constantly checking my email, passing the floor), then i forget (or just push it to the back of my mind (not easy)) then after i get a response and send one back it starts all over again.

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