How do you join conversations?

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If the group is small and the topic interesting, I can sometimes join in. But I can't figure out why I sometimes can't. I know I depend on the topic they are talking about, while it seems NTs talk just to talk.
But in order for me to join a conversations I have to:
like the topic they are talking about
have someone address me first
and the group has to be small

So what do I do when I am in class and watching people talk? It's a sign language club so there are conversational parts where we just sit and talk. But the same thing happens in spoken conversations with any group.

I also struggle with this. I feel like I can't find the right rhythm in conversations- I either stay quiet because I can't think of what to say and say it at the right time, or else I butt into conversations that I wasn't apparently meant to be a part of. Very often when I say something (especially at work) they will look at me like "why is she always listening, this doesn't involve her"- They are nice enough to me, I probably just seem to jump in unexpectedly the second that I finally think of something that I can say.

By the time I figure out if it's ok for me to say anything and then what to say, it is too late in the conversation. That's assuming I figure out if it is ok for me to join the conversation. And figuring out how is nearly impossible at times.

I tend to join the way a Mack truck parks--- BAM! this doesn't always go over too well, but sometimes it does. Never know how it's going to go. I don't always know proper ettiquette on this. oops.

yup......practice practice practice i guess

lmao skahthic i hear that. that was kinda me in a nutshell in high school....hahah

yup......practice practice practice i guess

lmao skahthic i hear that. that was kinda me in a nutshell in high school....hahah

I wish I knew. I seem to do OK if it's a group of me + 1 or 2, but beyond that I'm lost. Even at work, for instance in a group of people on a conference call, where I'm the expert on the subject matter, people will just go on talking while I'm sitting there trying to figure out how to enter the conversation. They seem to assume I'm quiet because I have nothing to contribute, but that's rarely the case, I just can't figure out how to join in. And it seems that no matter when I decide to join in it's the wrong time!

Once my supervisor said, right in front of me, 'Ha ha, isn't it funny how he'll just be sitting there and then all of a sudden start talking?'. And then the fact that when I do ahold of 'the floor' I can just go on talking forever seems to freak people out.

Sometimes it can be a problem when I'm just with 1 person - I've been in many a car ride where I was sitting there uncomfortably for long periods just trying to think of something to say, dead quiet. If the other person will start the conversation, I can participate, but I just can't seem to start a conversation myself.

Your supervisor just proved that it is not only those of us on the spectrum who say and do innapropriate things.

I also have trouble in conversations because I want to talk about a topic more in more depth than they do. Also I ask too many questions (according to some) by the time I get done no one wants to talk anymore.

I have trouble with pace mostly and yes NTs do heavily talk just to talk. But then they're trying to make connections within that talking. Remember talking and words is only a small component of communication. NT's are also communicating body language at light speed. I have problems talking in groups, and i practically cant connect with people in groups all I can do exchange meaningless words. Sometimes NTs communicate too quickly to point where I cant keep up so I just sit back and observe whats going on if its too fast pace. Just to process whats going on is all I can do more so then attempting to reciprocate and contribute.

With Friends: "Hey what are you talking about?". Join in.
With Others: Sit for a while because if I try and join in all I say will be ignored.

What I've found handy is to try to ask someone in the conversation a follow-up question to what's being discussed. Like if the discussion is about a song I would wait for a pause and ask "Hey I was wondering, what did you think about their latest album?" then maybe throw in one personal preference starter like "I liked song_y, they're really finding their voice". People usually enjoy being asked what they think of something, and throwing in one little thing about what you think gives them something to work with on where you stand.

Oh and what I love about that method is that if you can't think of what you are going to say just asking someone's opinion will usually let them start talking, so long as you can keep them going by asking further questions you usually get a bit more time to think about what you're going to say. Just remember to keep some eye contact and make what I call attention signs. The little things that tell them you're still listening and are interested like nodding head, going mmhm. Just don't go overboard, I just do it every few minor pauses they make.