How can I be "Cool" in school?
I would like to know is there a way that I can be cool in my school? I am male and 17 with ASD?AS I have no idea on what is going on in my school socaily. Educationaly but not the other way around. I also have a problem with making friends and talking to other people my age and I am really shy and nervious. I also have a problem of hiding from people at lunch and not hang out with anyone. I never have any time to hang out with other people out side of school but my self. None at school knows who I am or know that I exsist. there are clubs at the school but I don't like to go to them and I don't want them to waste my time doing nothing in the morning or getting ready. I am also kind of depressed and that I don't talk to anyone. I can go the whole day without talking if I wanted and not say a word, but I don't know. I would like to know how can I be "Cool" at my school if I am a nobody or a loner or if none knows I exsist?
Not sure how to help you but I can relate to you. There is only one club at my school that I like and it's put on by students, who I generally have a tough time relating to.
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-Allie
Canadian, young adult, student demisexual-heteroromantic, cisgender female, autistic
Somehow and improbably, I am fairly popular. However, at my school individuality is encouraged, so there are a lot of strange people, there is no uniform, everyone is unique, et cetera. Also, my Asperger's is mild.
I make jokes in front of the class and I can make people laugh easily. When people say things, can you usually make something funny out of it? Maybe at your school the teachers are a bit stern about commenting in class, I do not know. At my school the teachers treat students more like people than machines. Being fairly smart worked too. I am mostly friends with the smart people, who are also popular. I can make weird noises which people find hilarious at first and then annoying later - just do not go to the second stage.
Do you have any talents that could make people like you? A difficult question for an aspie maybe, but think, how do you like people to act towards you? What do other people act like to each other? Maybe watch the popular people, try and talk to them a little, that might help.
To be "cool" just means to be "socially accepted." You don't need to get a giant slice of the cake by desperately trying to make it to the top and trying to stay there. Just try to talk to some people and see if you can be happy with them. Having at least one friend should do the trick, especially if that friend mentions you to other people. You can start by giving out greetings like "Hello." or "Nice day, is it?" to random people. The greeting, for talkers, is like a seed, a seed that can grow into a full and meaningful conversation. "Think like a planter."
Be cool in the original jazz sense. Be true to yourself.
or you can be cool in the other way, as in a total moron wearing expensive clothes.
I like to be true to myself while having some decent clothes and a bit of muscle, also a smile on my face. That way the NT's have many things they can speculate as to why I am happy. They are less likely to mess with someone who appears to be good looking.
I think you touched on it there, go to some of the after-school clubs you are interested in. That way you'll meet people. When it comes to friends you have to come out of your comfort zone and make an effort to get to know people, risking yourself if you like. When you stop putting the effort in, the friends disappear. I actually don't think it's important to be "cool". Cool is just ego and attention seeking, it's more important to have stable long-term friends you like and who respect you. If you can meet people who you have similar interest in then you'll be doing fine. I think if you do things you genuinely like then you'll meet people who are a little like you.
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