Have you ever wrongly been accused of being mean?

Page 2 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,100

22 Feb 2011, 1:46 am

eddie82 wrote:
All the time. Because I am 6'4 and 220lbs I can sometimes come off as intimidating when in fact I am totally harmless. After getting to know people, they will sometimes admit that their first impression of me was that I was an as*hole or even snobby.


People probably assume you're on the basket ball team also, right?



jackbus01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,197

22 Feb 2011, 8:36 am

Yes, sometimes, because I rarely smile, am overly blunt, and I don't like small talk.
People perceive this as uncaring, cold, and mean.
These people are ignorant.



eddie82
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 176
Location: Charlotte, NC

22 Feb 2011, 11:18 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
eddie82 wrote:
All the time. Because I am 6'4 and 220lbs I can sometimes come off as intimidating when in fact I am totally harmless. After getting to know people, they will sometimes admit that their first impression of me was that I was an as*hole or even snobby.


People probably assume you're on the basket ball team also, right?


Haha. I used to get that all of the time. I would have never been able to force myself to try out and go to practice every day.



Dantac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,672
Location: Florida

22 Feb 2011, 12:59 pm

6ft 4? cripes man you need to be a firefighter... you dont need a ladder 8O :lol:



zee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,280
Location: on a cloud

22 Feb 2011, 6:17 pm

asdmonger wrote:
Have I ever. One girl I worked with said I was intimidating her and got me kicked off a project. I think I'm sort of a blank slate that people can project their feelings onto. Most of the time that works well for me, most people grossly overestimate my normalcy. Sometimes, my lack of expression and inability to impart emotional inflection into my speech is interpreted as aloofness and/or hostility.

I think there are times(possibly with the girl I mentioned) where subtle friendly gestures go over my head and then people think I've somehow rejected them and they can get hostile about it. I think Spock said something like "I don't mean to be insensitive, it's just how I am". In the real world there can be repercussions.


It's possible that lots of people are 'intimidated' just by our knowledge/intensity. I think that got me fired a couple times too, like when I tell senior coworkers what's a better way of doing something.

One guy said "You always have to be right, and it's at the expense of other people", b/c apparently it makes them look bad. But how is it 'at people's expense' if they can broaden their knowledge, save them time, etc.?



Shebakoby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,759

03 Mar 2011, 3:17 am

oh yeah, all the time.