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Non_Passerine
Sea Gull
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Joined: 20 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 241

16 Mar 2011, 8:01 pm

How do I get people to do more things with me? I always try to invite them to places but they never take it. (this includes groups of 10+ that I send invitations to) I want them to like me more.



auntblabby
Veteran
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
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Location: the island of defective toy santas

16 Mar 2011, 8:58 pm

it's unfortunate that more people are not reciprocating your kindness. but a key thing would be to choose better [more appropriately similar to yourself] people to invite into your life. just a thought. i wish you better luck.



Nathalie
Blue Jay
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Joined: 15 Mar 2011
Age: 35
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17 Mar 2011, 1:41 am

I have a lot of problems seeing people outside work/college, I myself really don't like it and can't cope with it. Perhaps you can first try to build a relationship at work or somewhere else, before you invite them? Once you become friends they'll probably take the invitation. Try to help people out when they need you, try to be kind.
I used to invite people too early in a relationship, that only pushes them away because it made them feel awkward.



Daryl_Blonder
Velociraptor
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Joined: 26 Dec 2010
Age: 42
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Location: Salem, CT

17 Mar 2011, 5:54 pm

You can't.

If they're not showing interest, it wouldn't be sincere of them anyway even if you could convince them to want to be your "friend" out of pity, and then you are stuck with an insincere relationship that is doomed to failure.

There are very, very few people out there, if any at all, you will find that will be true to you-- and positively zero that will like you based out of pure altruism. If they think it's too much work they'll just spend time with people who are easier for them to deal with, and unfortunately due to our intensity, which can come across as intimidating, and tendency to cause embarrassment to ourselves and/or people we are hanging out with, it's easier for them to work with someone who is on their wavelength.

This isn't to say you can never find lasting friends-- only that if you try too hard, you will fail. I'm 29 and I have no real friends, so...

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