You social problems and skills!

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Hello I'm Jacob I have aspergers and I would like to know what kind of social problems and skills you have. If you would like to tell me any of them please write them down in a post below

My Social Problems:

I can make friends and talk to people, but only if their in my class (I don't talk to them unless I see them often) I don't know why this is, could any one explain this?

I like to play sports, but when ever some one walks by my house while I'm outside I don't like them looking at me.

I can't talk to people for a very long time unless I know the person well

I get along with adults better then kids my own age?

I like to do good in school and thats all I ever work own and I never have time to be happy in school

I get angry or upset if somthing is changed in my school

(I seem to not have these problems out side of school, but mabye thats becuase I am use to my family)?

Lastly I don't like being in groups and the sound of people scratching their skin? I also walk and talk weird people tell me this alot...

My Skill:

I can oil paint
I can play baseball, football and basketball very well (ushally with my brother...)
I enjoy to hike and swim
I am very good at Social Studies, Writing, Reading, Painting (above), and Science
I like riding my bike, learned how at the age of 12
I enjoy some other things, but these are my top list!

So do you share any of my problems, or skills? I am not sure if I have Aspergers, I would enjoy your feedback and I will look over this fourm during that time and answering your responces.

Thanks! -Jacob

(I probally do have Aspergers, but I'm getting re-tested in April and May)

Sounds like you could have Asperger's with a little bit of social anxiety.

As for me I'm nervous a whole lot of the time around people. I have severe sensory issues (sound/light/touch) and seem to stutter and not know what to say to people. Usually when I talk it all comes out wrong. I can still talk to people. I don't think about it that much but it gets harder to talk to people when there's a few other people around and they start asking personal questions. I'm on ADHD medication which makes me want to talk to people and I find I can't stop. I'm not sure which is worse: being told I don't talk enough or being ignored when I talk too much.

My skills: Photography, a bit of a story teller, good sketcher and painter (well, will be a good painter if I work on it).
I'm not so much into sports, though I did skateboard in my late teens, but I'm into science and history. Oh and I do a bit of amateur astronomy.

OK, I'll try to answer your questions as best I can.

You can only talk to people in your class because they are familiar to you. We on the spectrum don't really like to do anything different and feel safe in a familiar environment. And you probably had to talk to people in your class at some point and then it got easier to talk to them.

You get along with adults better because well for one there is no peer pressure, you can just be yourself and you probably prefer the more mature conversations you can have. Adults are less likely to reject someone younger.
I get along with adults better because well I'm in my 20's and people my age just seem like sheep. If you don't fit their mold of a normal person then you are rejected. It's probably like that for teenagers too. People my age never stop being teenagers. And even if my interests are different than adults (people 10 or 20 years older than me) they still don't mind hearing about them.

Hating change in school...again that seems like when you aren't in a safer environment that you become more frustrated with change. I usually say the home is the safest place for someone on the spectrum. The place you are at the most. Even though you're at school a lot too it's still changing. You go from classroom to class room all day. And the room might not look the same throughout the whole year. I used to get annoyed when we had to change seating arrangements. Also school is a lot louder than home so that can affect how you feel about change.

It sound like you have sensory issues or at least get annoyed by certain sounds. Misophonia I think it's called. I don't like groups either. For me it's a sensory thing. Groups of people look cluttered. There's a lot of visual information to take in.

Anyway, good luck with your assessment. I hope what I said helped a little bit.

Thank you for your reply

I did change seating in one of my classes on Friday and I got upset.

I cannot initiate conversations with people if I am in a room full of strangers.

I cannot make small talk.

I digress into massive monologues about my passions and annoy everyone to the point they actually tell me to shut up.

I tend not to wait for someone to finish talking before I start talking (if I don't watch it).

I don't always respond to people when they talk to me and annoy everyone that way. So then I over compensate by trying to make sure I respond to everything everyone says and annoy everyone that way instead.

I cannot not tell what the hell people are trying to say to me unless they tell me...I am supposed to have ESP I think and automatically know stuff sometimes! I can only read obvious stuff like happy (smile), sad (downward mouth or tears or both), Angry (snarl and waving fist...please do not do this pose in front of me as a joke, it scares me lol) and sometimes Daydreaming (distant look with sort of smile on face). Anything else and I have no idea! Please do not expect me to be psychic lol.

I cannot tell if people like me and similarly cannot tell if men are attracted to me. I once asked my mum how one knows if a man finds you attractive and she replied with "you just know". "How" I replied. "Well you just know...you sense it" (ok there is that ESP again lol). "Yes but how do you know or sense it" "Well you read their body language!"...Oh great! lol. So I went out and bought a body language book and now, when I do have dates, I spend them trying to do things like see if their pupils are dilated (which I hate, I don't do eye contact well lol) and then I spend the next 3 hours trying to work out if they are dilated because they like me or if they are dilated because it's dim in there lol. Eventually I will just ask them straight out as I need them to tell me or I remain confused lol.

I get very bad anxiety in social situations due to bullying though out my life. Probably because I annoy people so much.

Oh and i repeat myself a lot, either by repeating something I have already said or asking the same question 20 times when they have already answered it lol.

And I will also sometimes seem to find myself being ridiculed (although I have to check to see if they are teasing first) because I say things like "Would you like a beverage" instead of "Would you like a drink" lol.

Ahem.

Yeah Im kinda similar, I find its cause your in more situations where you see the person and can talk to them cause if you dont have as much of a common ground with someone...its harder to connect. For me its very hard to make friends thru classes but Im in college the dynamic is slightly different, college students dont talk to people as much in classes I find in comparison to high school. Ive only been able to make 1 friend strictly thru a class in my entire college experiance. I tend to make friends thru friends outside the classroom.



anxiety problems probably...it can be kinda nerving to have someone watch you do something



You dont know them well, you dont know what their like, sometimes people run outta things to say, conversations are mostly based on small talk and pleasantries which many aspies have problems with



Aspies are commonly inflexible to changes in the routine. I used to be like this...I learned I had to adjust this to get along with my peers.



Same here...I figured out cause theres so many people and interactions happening at once...it can be overwhelming to keep track of. You have to focus on multiple people, how their reacting and the overall group dynamic



Yeah I defiently share some of your problems with socializing and anxiety. And it sounds pretty likely you do have aspergers but you should go in for a diagnosis to be sure. Only a professional can verify if you have aspergers or not.