What is your most common social mistake?

Page 4 of 6 [ 90 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

slashfrehley42
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 32

10 Jun 2011, 12:07 pm

Stating my opinions without making them more palatable first.
Misjudging how someone will react to something I say and inadvertently offending them.
Not expressing feelings the way you're meant to. Like if someone dies, I don't grieve outwardly, and some people perceive this as apathy. When I used to get in trouble at school, I'd sit there and not express any emotion whatsoever. Or I'd smile and try to be friendly. Pissed a lot of teachers off that way.

And I have this tipping point where I realise that I've messed up, so I just give up on making things better and see how far I can push the situation. I lost a job once doing that.



tcorrielus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 640
Location: Boston, MA

11 Jun 2011, 8:10 pm

My social mistake is asking questions and or saying things that seem to be harmless during social conversations, but people find unacceptable. For instance, asking people how other people have died recently.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

11 Jun 2011, 9:29 pm

i am not exactly good at jotting down my weakness since i have not connected with myself that well yet
But certainly after reading everyone else comments i could relate to this comment very well and so i copy pasted it.

Another one is clinginess. I mean if I find someone I like that is friendly and that I get really close to, sometimes I don't realize that they need their space too and that has gotten me in trouble more times than one can imagine. Many times i have clinged onto people and after a while they dumped me because of my excess clinginess

Also, I've got this one issue, I usually try to be pretty prompt about answering emails, returning phone calls, "liking it" when people are kind enough to post on my wall on Facebook (unless I don't see them) but when I sent an email and an NT doesn't do the same thing or they don't do it at all, I think oh sh**, I've done something wrong, or I've made them mad and I panic and do a bunch of impulsive and idiotic things to try to "fix" whatever problem I think there is when it usually turns out that I'm just reading way too much into things, and that I'm also expecting the other person involved to do the things that I do, because I do things differently. I tend to not understand when people do things the way they want to do them, because I forget to be considerate of what's going on in their lives and what they've got going on right at that moment and think that my way of doing things should be universal.

Another thing I do is when I meet a friendly person, or someone who appears to be that way, I think I reveal too much to them. I do this with women especially because they give off this vibe that they just want to talk all the time, and they do talk all the time. I don't talk as much, but when I want to talk, I really want to talk like about very serious things because they are on the surface in my mind. I am learning to overcome this habit and i guess keeping to myself would prevent me from getting into this mess

I also have very bad eye contact, looking at people's eyes is very uncomfortable for me even seeing my own eyes in the mirror is very freaky.

Facial expressions is a big one to me, I get people who say I frown too much, I never smile I get really really embarrassed when I am the center of attention, like if someone is looking directly at me, I turn so red. I hate talking about myself when I am face to face with a person.

I cannot talk in a group can only do one to one conversation since im low in confidence


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


Ai_Ling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,891

12 Jun 2011, 1:21 am

Here's my top 2

1) Greetings, I rarely properly greet people I know, I just walk up and join them. When I see someone I dont know whether to say hi or not, I avert eye contact out of nervousness and I dont say hi. If they say hi, I will mutter a hi.

2) Saying something offensive, speaking my mind or saying something inappropriate. I will too often say something that is out of line and sometimes not even have an idea that it was out of line. Sometimes, NTs wont say anything but then later wont really be that receptive to you.



Imapanda
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 90
Location: Plymouth - Minnesota

12 Jun 2011, 2:28 am

I'm always instinctively sarcastic; causing a lot of arguments in the household.

Most 'long' conversations I get into with people I don't know very well are just composed of me asking questions, both irrelevant and relevant.

I have uncontrollable stutters and slurs when saying a sentence more than 6 words long.

I have this habit which involves me always subconsciously holding my breath, which sometimes can result in really awkward, but uncontrollable 'moans'.

I use big words.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

12 Jun 2011, 2:37 am

Imapanda wrote:
I'm always instinctively sarcastic; causing a lot of arguments in the household.

even im sarcastic
Quote:
Most 'long' conversations I get into with people I don't know very well are just composed of me asking questions, both irrelevant and relevant.

again a similar issue
Quote:
I have uncontrollable stutters and slurs when saying a sentence more than 6 words long.

ya i feel my throat choking and paining while talking more



ratonlaveur
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 70
Location: USA

12 Jun 2011, 8:12 pm

I think I'm a bit too immature/joking/sarcastic, and sometimes it comes across as being rude or insulting. Or actually, it's pretty often..



Klokateer666
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 43
Location: Melbourne, Australia

16 Jun 2011, 5:40 am

I think my worst problem when it comes to socialising is that I tend to speak too quickly and use a lot of large words in quick succession, confusing some people that aren't too familiar with me. Then when I take the time to rephrase what I've said it almost sounds like I'm lecturing the person, which they usually don't seem to like for some reason :roll:

For the most part though my social skills are enough to be able to pass myself off as an NT. I understand humour, sarcasm and irony well enough and one unsuspecting NT has even claimed that I was one of the funniest (haha funny, not strange funny) people she's ever met. Clearly she doesn't know what funny is.



jojobean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk

17 Jun 2011, 3:55 am

I usually have something else going on in my head while someone else is talking...usually having NOTHING to do with what is being spoken by the other person and as soon as that person catches their breath for a millisecond, I then blurt out what I am thinking. It makes for very akward moments
example:
Jill is talking for 15 minutes about her boyfriend and her mother getting into a fight over her not spending enough time with either one of them
meanwhile I am thinking about what I learned on wp about introverts and extroverts having different neuropathways
Jill takes a short pause in discussing this situation with me and I blurt out....did you know that introverts and extroverts have different neuropathways??
Jill looks at me like I have been dropped out of space on my head...and says...whaaaaat does that have to do with anything IIIII said
Sorry, I am random

second thing is how long to make eye contact...that is soooo confusing to me that I just avoid it all together...if I do make eye contact, I wont hear anything that person said cause all I am thinking is how long should I make eye contact

however not making eye contact has its social stigmas too

also because of my hearing impairment on top of my auditory processing dysfuction, and then AS on top of that, it is a miracle that I understand much of what people say to me...but most the time I dont get most of what people say, but because I am unsure of myself...I dont ask for them to repeat...I just mirror their facial expressions and nod my head. Most of my social interactions with people who dont know me are like this. People that do know me, know that they have to enunciate clearly and be facing me so I can lip read what they are saying. Sometimes even then I will just smile and nod.


_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,554
Location: Stalag 13

17 Jun 2011, 6:57 am

Not thinking before I speak. It doesn't happen all the time, but it happens often enough.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,126
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

17 Jun 2011, 8:22 am

I make lots of social mistakes. I am incapable of noticing facial expressions due to low vision. I have weird facial expressions & sometimes have creepy looks in my eyes maybe related to my vision issues. I sometimes(or lots of times) find inappropriate things very funny so I laugh when it's inappropriate. I sometimes say things to be funny that are considered inappropriate or rude by others & I really do not understand why it's funny when an NT says it but not me. I sometimes say rude & impolite things without realizing why what I said was wrong. I sometimes stutter & slur when I talk because of a tremor disorder that acts up when I'm nervous & having tremors with that makes me look like I'm on something. I think I may have a weird posture, I sometimes fold my arms. I play with things in my hands. I check my email & other things on my droid quite a lot; I think it's kind of a stimming thing. I sometimes walk around & move my arms kinda pacing. I have problems finding the rite tone of voice; I talk low or I talk to loud. I'm very easily confuse. & forget things.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


chrissyrun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,788
Location: Hell :)

17 Jun 2011, 1:36 pm

nick007 wrote:
I make lots of social mistakes. I am incapable of noticing facial expressions due to low vision. I have weird facial expressions & sometimes have creepy looks in my eyes maybe related to my vision issues. I sometimes(or lots of times) find inappropriate things very funny so I laugh when it's inappropriate. I sometimes say things to be funny that are considered inappropriate or rude by others & I really do not understand why it's funny when an NT says it but not me. I sometimes say rude & impolite things without realizing why what I said was wrong. I sometimes stutter & slur when I talk because of a tremor disorder that acts up when I'm nervous & having tremors with that makes me look like I'm on something. I think I may have a weird posture, I sometimes fold my arms. I play with things in my hands. I check my email & other things on my droid quite a lot; I think it's kind of a stimming thing. I sometimes walk around & move my arms kinda pacing. I have problems finding the rite tone of voice; I talk low or I talk to loud. I'm very easily confuse. & forget things.


*the laughing thing, same here
*the rude thing, same here
*I don't slur, but sometimes I mumble, not trying, but sometimes I don't realize when I'm doing it
*I definitely have a weird posture...oh, and a lot of the times I sit weirdly....like right now I am sitting indian style on the chair
*Email thing, yes, yes, yes, yes....I am OCD about checking my email and my facebook
*I used to have problems with tone, but I am working on it



Cei
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 155
Location: USA

20 Jun 2011, 3:01 am

Most of my social errors are strategies I learned as a small child that grew out of control, or are no longer useful. Apologizing is a big one. I reflexively throw a random "sorry" into most of my sentences. Thankfully, now I'm no longer rude enough that I need to apologize that frequently, but the fear that I'm annoying people has only increased.

I also get really stressed out by the idea of answering insufficiently specific questions, to the point of freezing up or just giving a generic answer. Questions like "How was your vacation?" or "What's up?" are just too complicated to answer. I worry that if I answer properly, I'll start to monologue.



PTSmorrow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 719

20 Jun 2011, 3:05 pm

# 1 i can't understand when people talk/write out of any common emotional insanity and i often respond in a way they consider as being brutal and inhuman.
E.g. it's obvious and undeniable that the root of all environmental problems is there are way too many bipeds. So when people whine about problems i often say if they really want a change the first step must be birth control. One called me a monster for these words. Many people act stupid and out of emotions instead of logical considerations. The way i look at things seems to be offensive for most of them.

# 2 is i have problems with setting up boundaries in the beginning of contacts which might be kind of invitation for others to violate my personal space. Then i receive stupid phone calls because they just want to jabber without any need. When i finally say, please leave ma alone now, i don't want to hear this gossip, i am the bad and mean person.
Same about my down time. Contacts easily cause a sensory overload. Thus, i want to be alone with my cats. When one calls me strange i ignore it for a few times but if they insist in telling me how wrong, how strange i am, finally i yell at them and become verbally abusive.



sealion
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 66

20 Jun 2011, 3:42 pm

Being stuck in your head and caring to much what people think of you.


_________________
let food be my medicine and medicine be my food.

-Hippocrates

http://www.loselegfat123.blogspot.com


Miyah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 741

21 Jun 2011, 2:13 pm

My common one is perceiving the way that someone says something and I happen to think one way, while the messenger means another way. So when I feed that message about the receiver, then they will go and confirm it with the first person who then gets mad and mistakes me for twisting the truth around.