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Tantricbadass
Blue Jay
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04 Jun 2011, 12:30 pm

I am kinda starting to want hugs and physical contact and I would like to know some stuff about it.I had to post it.The other day at the second to last day at school, there was this girl that totally freaked out over inuyasha being talked about.she said "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS THE BEST SHOW EVER!!"And I said "OH MY GOD, IT WAS THE BEST SHOW EVER!! !" because I agreed with her, from like 7 feet away.The teacher looked at both us shocked.I than wanted to hug her and I walked over to do so.I only got one arm around her because her friends were less than a nanometer close to her.She kinda got scared and froze up and walked away at the same time.They took it has a sexual gesture and people got that weird "Ooooooooooo" emotion I can't describe.It's like shock but it's cool I guess.I did not love that girl(it's so good I can say "love" and not "like" because NTs hate that word).I hug people I like(which is rare).When is it O.K.?My cousin is scene and he's weird and I looked to him on how to act and I think his social skills are defective by his safety net of likeability.



MyDogSasha
Pileated woodpecker
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04 Jun 2011, 4:50 pm

Why'd they freAk out? Huggings normal



TeaEarlGreyHot
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04 Jun 2011, 11:08 pm

I only ever hug those that offer it first.


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wefunction
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04 Jun 2011, 11:25 pm

I only bug my husband and kids with impromptu hugging because they cannot get away. With friends, I'll announce, "I need a hug now" and they'll gladly oblige. I let many people hug me, especially women, because that's fine. I don't mind in the least. At my church, hugging with the european cheek kiss is a normal greeting among the women. I'm grateful to be included. I'm on hugging terms with my daughter's second grade and third grade teachers because of things that happened throughout those school years to bring us closer and more personal. But I do remember when I tried to hug my mother-in-law before she was my mother-in-law when we went out to dinner for her birthday. She didn't even let go of her husband's hand to reciprocate. She just stood there like a board.

Generally speaking, it's not cool to try to hug a girl if you're a boy, especially a hetero boy. If you're an out gay guy and she's well aware that you're gay, it might be acceptable to hug her because then there's no sexual overtones. As a hetero boy, there'll always been sexual overtones, even when there's none.

Hugging is a tightrope walk for an aspie. Even if you can stand the personal contact, it's the social ineptitude of knowing when hugging is appropriate that'll trip you. It's best to let others take the lead on hugging until you know, for certain, that there's a green light for it.



starryeyedvoyager
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05 Jun 2011, 3:20 am

People got me to a point where hugging has become my regular form of greating. They asked for it, they got it. I prefer shaking hands over hugging, and waving over shaking hands, and doing nothing at all over waving, but especially my female friends wondered why I was not hugging them for greatings since we know each other for such a long time. Same with my guys, giving friendly hugs with back or shouldertapping is regular with them, and so I had to adapt that behaviour. Now they have to deal with the fact that they got hugged by someone who has trouble controling the intensity of his muscle contraction.