Are you a loner?

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InterestingIsabella
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01 Nov 2011, 7:36 pm

I usually like to be around people at times but i really just like to stay by myself. i get anxious alot around people its really hard for me.

namaste
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02 Nov 2011, 12:45 am

Earlier i was obssessed with making friends. I was quite scared to be alone.
I remember chasing a group of girls during my college time...just in the hope that they would include me in their group.
I kept on chasing people on facebook, at workplace, at social get together or college just in the hope that i wont be left alone.
But unfortunately i was always left alone........isolated

Now i stopped at cat and rat race and most of the time im alone.
just reading, surfing net or shopping.

I have got a part time job but there are no friends at workplace also
im quite reserved, scared and keep to myself.
others have added each other on facebook etc.
but i have not added any of my work colleague on facebook.

i dont think i have choosen the situation...but rather i was brought up very strictly
and not allowed any freedom to mix up neither have social circle.
i ended being a socially awkward person.

auntblabby
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02 Nov 2011, 5:53 am

^^^
i dig it. :neutral:

mntn13
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02 Nov 2011, 10:11 am

SkipNip wrote:

I am. I love it. I've been like this ever since I was a kid. I make friends but I only like to hang around with them for very short periods of time, I prefer to be alone. I came across this article:
http://aspergermindspeaks.blogspot.com/ ... s-mri.html
and read the My Comments part and thought that was the biggest load of BS concerning autism I've read my whole life. Whoever wrote that does NOT have autism. Hes saying the autistic person is an extremely social individual. Just saying the word social makes me feel sick. Literally, I feel nauseous now after thinking about it. I have little or no desire to connect with others. I like exchanging information with other people and I respect others and like the way we can work together as a team on things but I don't socialize, I don't even understand what socializing is. I find sawing my own leg off with a rusty hacksaw more enjoyable than sitting around talking about meaningless, pointless BS. Only joking I've never sawed my own leg off with a rusty hacksaw so I don't know what it feels like and I'd say it'd be far worse than sitting around socializing but there are many so called painful and negative things that I find more enjoyable than socializing. One night I forced myself to endure a couple of hours of sitting around with my mother and her boyfriend talking absolute BS while they drank wine and smoked cigarettes, the experience left me feeling sick for another hour or so afterwards and if that wasn't f**** up enough, my ma now uses that as an argument against me when I say I don't like socializing. She'll be like "but you've spent hours talking before", my god this BS instills homicidal rage in me sometimes. After that day I decided I will never again participate in that mindless BS and if anyone is offended by me ignoring their attempts to get to join a conversation, thats their problem. I seriously doubt I'm the only one here with these sentiments. What do all of you think? Are these people who claim to be autistic yet also claim that they are social people, just posing as someone with autism for some reason? I was diagnosed with high functioning autism, I dunno if thats different to aspergers or not but most of the time when I read someone diagnosed with aspergers describe themselves, I can relate 100, its just the odd time I come across a so called person with aspergers claim that they like socializing and it leaves me wondering if they actually have autism or not.

same here... I've been asked by relatives why I never show up so just told them that I might someday, just to get them to stop talking about it. Some people absolutely infuriate me, some frighten me, and many just don't seem real.
the same thing happens to me at social events as happens on the #@$%^& phone; which is I start shaking and trembling, can't think straight, I lose my appetite, lose my sense of who I am - that is hard to describe but I feel like I'm being erased or something.
Being alone eventually calms me, but it can take a day or two or more before I feel myself again.

Ichinin
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03 Nov 2011, 10:39 am

I was reminded of this, pretty much sums up what i see when i see normal people with "only" 20 or so friends that claim to be loners:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA19DJ5Onto[/youtube]

(The experiment in that episode was very intresting btw.. wondering if it would work).

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anneurysm
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04 Nov 2011, 12:12 am

I am very outgoing when placed into a social situation, but when I am not directly around people, I hide away and become an extreme introvert. People end up becoming frustrated as I don't keep in touch as often as I would like, but the reality is that I just need a lot of alone time.

_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder

My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.

Mad_Jessie
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Joined: 3 Nov 2011
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Location: Sweden

04 Nov 2011, 5:21 pm

I just registerd because I felt lonely. The weird part is that I only feel lonely when I see others having a blast with others. I get jellous about their obvious connection to one another. I want that carefree and instant connection too.

When I do have my one and only friend over I sometimes get so frustrated and irritated by her just because she's there. I just can't get a grip on what I am feeling. I want to socialice but at the same time I want to continue the boring thing I just did when she dropped by unanounced.

In big crowds I tend to melt into the background and become on of the furniture.
Hi I am a chair. Come and sit on me. Just beeing ironic. :lol:
One side of me just wants to sit and listen in on what everyone else says. Watch and lern.
While the other side of me wants to make jokes and yeah make a fool of myself just to hear a laughter.
When everything takes part inside me, this obvious fight over which side shall take charge, the whole subject of the conversation could have change. Or I just haven't figured out where and in which conversation-pause I can make my input.

I'm tired of myself today.
And sorry for the bad spelling. I haven't written this much in english since I went to school. And that's about seven years ago.

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auntblabby
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04 Nov 2011, 5:57 pm

^^^
welcome to our club, Mad Jessie
and your english is fine.

Mad_Jessie
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04 Nov 2011, 6:05 pm

auntblabby wrote:

^^^
welcome to our club, Mad Jessie

and your english is fine.

Thank you. English are my second language too.

That made my heart warm. I think I can go to bed now. The clock are after midnight after all.

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"If a little dreaming is dangerous. The answer isn't to dream less but to dream more."
The tv-series "Medium" commercial

auntblabby
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04 Nov 2011, 6:10 pm

^^^
god natt, vän

Mad_Jessie
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04 Nov 2011, 6:15 pm

Oh I didn't expect to see swedish in a place like this.

God natt. Du med.

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"If a little dreaming is dangerous. The answer isn't to dream less but to dream more."
The tv-series "Medium" commercial

Circle989898
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04 Nov 2011, 6:25 pm

I like being a loner as well.

Trainbuff
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Location: New York City

04 Nov 2011, 10:08 pm

I'm a loaner and for the most part, I like it.

Sometimes I wish I had a S/O and some friends though, but most of the time I like being a loaner.

namaste
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05 Nov 2011, 3:17 am

Mad_Jessie wrote:

In big crowds I tend to melt into the background and become on of the furniture.
Hi I am a chair. Come and sit on me. Just beeing ironic. :lol:

One side of me just wants to sit and listen in on what everyone else says. Watch and lern.
While the other side of me wants to make jokes and yeah make a fool of myself just to hear a laughter.
When everything takes part inside me, this obvious fight over which side shall take charge, the whole subject of the conversation could have change. Or I just haven't figured out where and in which conversation-pause I can make my input.

I'm tired of myself today.
And sorry for the bad spelling. I haven't written this much in english since I went to school. And that's about seven years ago.

i can relate well with this......actually we are so acquainted with aloneness that company makes us feel disgust.

Ichinin
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05 Nov 2011, 3:33 am

Mad_Jessie wrote:

Oh I didn't expect to see swedish in a place like this.

God natt. Du med.

Nej, det finns inga Svenskar här, han fejkar det bara

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"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring" (Carl Sagan)

auntblabby
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05 Nov 2011, 8:16 am

Jag bara försöker få honom att känna sig mer "hemma."

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