An article on "bullycide"

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Why So Many Children Commit Suicide After Bullying

For those wanting to read the full article, the URL is above.

I put a series of quotes that I found interesting and are worth discussion.

(The author is pondering the reason why kids commit bullycide)



Heard this, anyone?





This is an interesting thought.

By posting this, I am saying it is a good topic to discuss, not that I necessarily agree with every aspect of this.

I think I know what role the author of this article played back in his school days

I can see where this thought process is coming from but at the same time they are making the victims suffer more. On the subject of suicide, there shouldn't be any blind speculation about why kids are doing it. That is dangerous.

I know what role I played I school, and believe me when I tell you it wasn't that of the bully. I still agree with every word of that article.

Standard and literal blame-the-victim. "Shouldn't have gone out at night wearing that dress." The author is just another clueless dumbass who thinks he gets it.

The attitude of the author is why the handling of bullying will never change. He believes the victims deserve it (as do most people)^*, because he thinks, "if they didn't want to be bullied they wouldn't act like such contemptible bully-enticing freaks and fa***ts. They should just act normal, like me and my a**hole kids who are also bullies."

He probably thinks the bullies are the victims -- that some people are just so freakish that you can't help but get 3 friends and beat the crap out of them, and damn them for making you do that! It's an injustice!

I agree with the article in the sense that the only real way to stop a bully is to break his face when no one is looking. Programs by run by adults who don't get it and don't actually care is not going to cure the problem. OTOH, I don't think those programs are totally worthless, as the author seems to think.


^* check out the link at the bottom of the article, "bullies to buddies," which is written by the author. It starts out like this:

See? The reason Billy gets bullied is because it's his fault and he's stupid. Wow, the author is a genius.

Di we read the same article? I just don't see where you got that from what the guy actually wrote.

Bullying is not a new phenomenon. What is new is the exponential increase in suicides related to it. The only thing that's changed, as far as I can see, is society's reaction to it.

Maybe we should stop reinforcing the idea that bullying is the worst possible thing that could happen to a person, and start treating it as something that, while bad, can be dealt with and moved past.

When no one holds a bullying victim accountable for their choice to die, for the pain they cause their loved ones, when no one points out the disproportionate extremity of their reaction, and when those who do are portrayed as unfeeling monsters, it only creates the impression in other bullying victims that suicide is an appropriate and rational response.

Bullying is proving nearly impossible to put an end to. I doubt we've even been able to slow it down. Fortunately, eliminating bullying is not the only way to prevent suicides resulting from it.

I got it from Bullies2Buddies.com, which is written by and advertised by the author on the right side of the page.

Society's reaction to it has not changed at all. All the drives and programs are window dressing that mean and change virtually nothing. The suicides were probably always happening but were reported to be due to "depression" or some other cause (or not reported in the media at all).

Well sure, because bullying is just one experience and one-size-fits all. It doesn't have a range from verbal teasing to getting a skull fracture from being hit in the head with a crowbar for being a "fag." (didn't happen to me personally) And that's why it's a good idea to conflate real bullying with trivial teasing.

Hold them accountable? Well, you can beat their corpse if you like. If their family is so out-to-lunch that they can't tell or don't care that a family member is suicidal then maybe that family is kind of worthless and deserves what happens.
And disproportionate? Who says? You? There's a lot of guys who say that rape isn't such a big deal. I suspect it's more that they're clueless about the experience rather than correct. It's like how in parts of the middle east a woman gets charged with a crime if she's raped.

It is impossible to end. People like it too much.

And why end it? We need to weed out the freaks and the weak people. They need to be taught their proper place in life. It's good for society.

You seem to be implying that I don't have any first-hand experience of bullying. I don't want to derail the thread with them but, believe me, some of the things that happened to me are right up there with any of the extreme examples you might want to bring up.

And you still think it's an acceptable thing? That doesn't make any sense to me. I agree that it's impossible to stop, but I can't see how you can experience it and think it's a good thing.

When did I say it was acceptable or good?

I only said that we should emphasize to kids that it (like anything else) is not something to kill yourself over. And to stop holding up kids who made the worst possible decision about how to react as role models.

Ok. Do you think it's wrong?

Stuff like that when I was a kid is what caused me to stop reporting any distressing issue whatsoever to any adults (or anyone at all, come to think of it). It lead to 100% emotional isolation. If you want to invalidate and shut someone down that can be an outstanding way to do it.

Your approach will save the kids who aren't really in that much trouble, but it will tell the ones who are that they need to shut up and that they are even more defective for contemplating it. I'm hateful this way, but I have no concern for the 'emo' kids who are getting ideas from the newspapers, as opposed to the others for whom reality alone is leading them to such thoughts.

I'd like to see an article that makes a role model of a kid who committed suicide. If writing anything that is sympathetic or attempts to understand how that person may have felt is making them a role model then I guess all reporting of such things should end.

You know what? You're right. Let's keep doing things the way we do now. Anyone who's ever had bad s**t happen to them should just off themselves. I mean, we all know that a painful childhood is an absolute guarantee of a miserable worthless adulthood.

If you're going to insist on twisting my words, taking meaning from them that just isn't there, then I'm going to do the same.

'We' are already doing what we always did, which is not give a sh*t. There is no increase in the rate; there is only more reporting of it.

And yes, they should kill themselves and the shut the f**k up about it, and no one should ever have to think about why it happened and whether or not they played a part. It's really all the dead person's fault and ultimately they deserved to die. Society is never wrong.

People who are having a hard time are inherently worthless and need to be reminded that what they think and feel doesn't matter. It's better to pretend to be happy and quietly kill yourself in a way that is unobtrusive to others that than rock the boat. Just hum the "Leave it to Beaver" theme song and everything will be fine.

I'm not twisting anything. And I noticed you didn't answer my question: do you think bullying is wrong? If you can't answer that with "yes" then I can't take you seriously.

Of course I do, I didn't think the question was worth answering.

We are not doing what we used to about it, I don't know how you can say society doesn't give a s**t with all of the anti-bullying campaigns going on, the articles written about it, the new crazy-strict policies in schools, the huge numbers of celebrities speaking out against it. These are not things that have always been going on.

But the way we are treating the subject makes suicide out to be an appropriate solution, rather than helping the victims to overcome it.

I think the article looks like kind of an attempt to put down people who don't handle things like bullying well, and seems to grasp for proof that somehow suicides are all about attention and not about someone being in pain and not knowing how to deal with it or whatever situation put them there. But maybe I got the wrong idea out of the article...that is just what it seemed to indicate.

I don't think usually people who kill themselves are seen as role models.