Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"?

Post Reply New Topic

That seems to be the best way to describe it, don't you think?


On the same note, if you are past high school and life got better, what exact things did you do or stop doing to get along better with people?

I don't say anything in class and don't express strong emotions, though I attempt to be courteous to others.


But sometimes you just have to get somewhere and you can't worry about peoples personal space XD

I think we are learning new skills all the time. Maybe what some would call negative reinforcement. Which is why it is harder to diagnose an older person with Aspergers because we can "ACT" better or place roles because we know what is expected in certain situations.

I am still uncomfortable at social situations, always looking at the door and wanting to make an unseen exit.
I can mentally sit in a meeting and say to myself, don't say something stupid, what would an NT say? Make a few good comments and keep my mouth shut. Avoid emotion at all costs.
Of course I miss social cues, and it helps greatly being an accountant. I think the field is a magnet for Aspies and Eccentrics.
It is easy to blend in and to be different. Accountant are suppose to see in Black and White terms. Think logically. And other typical stereotypes, hence it makes being an Aspie a great place to hide.

So do we grow up slower?
Change is slow but cannot be stopped. I don't think it should be confused with maturity. Aspies can be EXTREMELY smart. Especially about their obsessions. I think we develop the Social Skills slower and don't even realize we develop them. As in not a conscience effort all the time.

Good deal with accounting, if I can help feel free to PM me.

There are lots of room for Aspies of all skills in Accounting. We just hired an Admin Assistant. Not all positions require a four year degree. But as in most accounting offices you will not seem weird. It is a requirement:)

I guess I am going to be forever young. I am in my early 50s, and still have social troubles, but I didn't have help with this when I was growing up, as Autism/Asperger's weren't recognized as such back then. We were diagnosed as having emotional/behavior problems, and sometimes also being undisciplined, or trouble makers. At least now there is help for the younger generation. Us oldsters are too set in our ways to get much out of the programs available for the younger set, but I am glad that help is now available for some of us.

I am 49 and graduated High School in 1981. So I know what you mean. They never heard of Aspergers back then.

In a way its both the genetic make up and the fact we are culturally seperated from our peers which means we aren't as exposed to the same things as they are. In a way, we do grow up, but in a different way then they do. I suppose it's better how we grow up. Besides, most of our peers are pushed to grow up faster than they want to. We though aren't as affected by peer preassure because of the cultural seperation.

When i was younger it use to feel that i had a slower developmental rate compared to my peers. I would find myself discovering things that most people discovered many years ago. For instance it wasnt until my last year of college (17-18) that i finally clicked that people do not know what i am thinking. Most NT will figure this between the ages of 3 and 4, or by age 7 at the latest. I am currently nearly 40, and still the world is up for discovery, learning new things everyday, which most NT learned whilst at school. Thus now i would say that most NT live in a social world, that i am only just discovering exists.

Growing up more slow is so negative.

I just think about my self that I am missing certain instincts and abilities. In time I just learn better to compensate for them using tricks and intellect. That I miss those instincts and abilities does not mean I am not growing up, but just not developing in the most accepted way.

Who is to say my way of developing or growing up is not a good way? I have other abilities that are better than those of most people.

if growing up means successfully matriculating into the world of functional adult social relations/relationships, then i am stunted. if one confines the working definition of "grown up" to mean weaned from direct parental care, then i guess i'm grown up, nominally.

I totally missed out on learning\growing social skills, but loved reading fiction as a kid. Always preferred animals to people.

As an adult, I still love reading fiction (re-read my fav books to escape reality) but despite doing adult things (jobs, driving etc) I still feel like a child inside. I don't feel like a woman, certainly don't feel ready to have kids etc. Still like playing with animals (horses etc) riding motorbikes, playing computer\console games etc.

But I don't go out and party, or get drunk etc. Never did that as a kid\teen either.

It's not about growing up fast or slow. It's just about being a different kind of person.