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climategeek
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29 Jan 2018, 8:55 pm

Yes, I have Asperger's but my social skills are not terrible, in fact they're better than a lot of people who are NT. The issue is not with my social skills but with my outlook on life.

For most of my life I have been severely discriminated against and I have faced non-stop rejection my whole life. Because of non-stop rejection when it comes to dating and jobs, I am currently unemployed and single all because because of non-stop rejection when it comes to dating and jobs, I am currently unemployed and single all because of discrimination.

This as a result has made me a very negative and pessimistic person and I expect only bad things to always happen to me.

Despite my feelings that no one will ever give me a chance and that I will always be discriminated against, I still try to defy the odds and ask girls out and apply for jobs and despite all of this, I have applied to over 100 jobs and I've been on a couple of dates. Every single job that I have applied for rejected me solely on the basis of me being autistic and the same reason is why the girls also dumped me.

One of the girls who knew I was autistic considered but then she realized that I was not the right fit for her because of how negative and pessimistic I was Ashley overheard me talking to one of my friends telling them how I will never date as every girl rejects me because of my disability and how most girls are very abelist and only think of themselves.

Because she overheard when I said that, which I didn't realize, I asked her out on a date a few days later and despite being single and seeking a person she refused me even though I have been very nice to everyone in the store and she knows that I'm a very polite person. When I asked her why she rejected me, she told me that it's because that I have Asperger's but also because of my very negative attitude and she told me that if I wasn't so negative she would have considered to date me, which I think is nothing but BS.

I know for a fact that I will never date as every girl would always reject me, but I don't want that to happen, I've been asking girls out after knowing them for several months and being very polite and nice to them and they still reject me, what should I do, I'm completely hopeless now.

I don't even want to bother applying to jobs anymore since I've already applied to more jobs in a year then my friends have ever applied to and I still was never accepted to even one position.



auntblabby
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29 Jan 2018, 9:01 pm

don't succumb to the dark side.



hale_bopp
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30 Jan 2018, 5:35 am

Why are you telling employers you’re autistic if you can pass off as having decent social skills? Tell it to them later if you get the job and are comfortable there. Don’t let it define you.

Also it probably isn’t that. Jobs are very hard to get. I applied for at least 300 over a 5 month period in 2015, and nothing came of any of them.

Cold call businesses, get a hook into the jobs that aren’t advertised. That’s how I got the majority of my jobs.

Id suggest working on your depression and outlook before even thinking about dating.



kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2018, 7:07 am

Don’t even tell them you’re autistic.



fluffysaurus
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30 Jan 2018, 7:46 am

When applying for a job or asking someone out, your social skills are not being judged by how polite or nice they are, they are judged by how normal you come across. Unfair, but it's difficult to counter because people aren't even aware they are prejudicing you in this way. Some NT's can and often do have terrible social skills but when they're at an interview they just have to be polite, the coming across as normal, they do automatically because that's what they are.

That's the bad news, the good thing is that getting a job on the lower rungs of the ladder (all I know about) is down to the most random collection of things that it is laughable. If you remind them of a cousin they hate you won't get it, if you've the same name as their dog you're a shoe in. Sooner or latter you will be a fit for the person interviewing you, it'll just take longer than it would for an NT.



climategeek
Blue Jay
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22 Feb 2018, 12:03 pm

About two weeks after making this post, on February 13th I asked a girl out to see a movie. She accepted the date, however when I texted her and asked her what time she wants to meet up, she hasn't returned any of my texts at all.

the worst part is that the worst part is that exactly what I expected would happen as usually when I make pessimistic prediction involving dates and girls, I always end up being right somehow. As of now so far my life I have had a 100% success rate in terms of being right when I make pessimistic predictions for myself. :cry:



hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2018, 2:04 pm

climategeek wrote:
About two weeks after making this post, on February 13th I asked a girl out to see a movie. She accepted the date, however when I texted her and asked her what time she wants to meet up, she hasn't returned any of my texts at all.

the worst part is that the worst part is that exactly what I expected would happen as usually when I make pessimistic prediction involving dates and girls, I always end up being right somehow. As of now so far my life I have had a 100% success rate in terms of being right when I make pessimistic predictions for myself. :cry:


That’s just plain rudeness. It’s happened to me before as well. You deserve better than someone that rude.



climategeek
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02 May 2018, 2:02 am

I have recently applied to get a job working with autistic children and I explained that I used to go to an autistic school where I volunteer with autistic children for 6 years even though I was a student and I actually made a YouTube video the day before the interview saying that they were not going to give me the job using the BS abelist claim that it's a conflict of interest since you get services from this agency.

And just like I have been right every time I make a negative prediction for myself, I was right again and this time I have documented proof on YouTube.

Yesterday on May 1st, I had an interview at a retail place where I passed the interview with flying colors, basically I answered all the questions correctly and even seemingly impress the manager by answering a scenario question the right way in which I was given a scenario where I was multitasking while on a ladder and a customer asked me for help and at the same time I paid your ring and I was asked to come to the office. The interviewer asked me what would be the correct response and without even hesitating I answered helping the customer as customers are the first priority and in fact I was told I chose the correct answer.

However, my Medicaid service coordinator went with me just for moral support and before the interview I was very pessimistic and she tried to reassure me and tell me that if the interviewer caught me with that attitude I would not get the job, so I tried really hard to be optimistic throughout the entire interview.

After the interview ended, the interviewer told me that I was going to get a call if I got the job and after hearing that line so many times before, I was so sure I didn't get the job that as soon as I left the office, I told my MSC that I did not get the job and just like the video I made the night before claiming I will not get the job will be fulfilled.

As I was walking home from the interview, she told me that there is a chance that the person who interviewed me might have overheard me what I was telling her after I left the office and that if he did over here me there's a very good chance I may not get hired.

Anyway, I have just been dealing with a lot of bad luck lately and I don't know what to do I feel like I'm cursed and all these bad things are happening to me and just recently I got rejected for an internship that everyone else who applied in my college got accepted for. The internship was for the Department of energy and I told my friends who told me about the application that out of everyone who applies I will be the only one who will not get accepted and just as I predicted it, my prediction came true.

Why is all this happening to me, what did I do to deserve all this bad luck? :cry:



Joe90
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03 May 2018, 1:51 pm

It's hard not to tell employers you're autistic, especially when they ask you in the interview if you have any disabilities or anything. A person with an ASD could have decent social skills but other symptoms could become visible when in a job, which could cost you your job. In my previous job, I was great at interacting with my co-workers, but when I was under pressure with the work and became stressed, I behaved like a naughty child; yelling, slamming doors, hiding in a cupboard to cry, and I've even broke something before - all because I was given a task that was too overwhelming for me. I did verbally express my feelings first but they didn't take me seriously, so that got me into a rage. Luckily they knew I had ASD and ADHD so they didn't fire me or even give me a discipline but some employers might not be so lenient. Even if you didn't reveal your disability in the interview but revealed it after you got the job, they still might think you're pretending to have ASD to excuse your behaviour, and they can fire you and say "we did ask you in the interview if you had a disability and you said no".
It's really a clever trap most employers have against people like us.


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kraftiekortie
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04 May 2018, 7:54 am

You’re creating self-fulfilling prophecies for yourself.

Stop telling interviewers that you have a disability.

Any word about that job with the autism place?

I grew up in Rego Park. Went to Sage, then a private high school in the City.

I’m thinking you went to Halsey for some reason.



magicrabbit
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05 May 2018, 5:06 pm

I think a big piece of it is that you view and present asperger's as this huge flaw in your life that has been a barrier to the things you want. I have serious doubts that over 100 employers specifically told you they didn't hire you because of your autism. That would be like 50 kinds of illegal. I've applied for 120 jobs in the last six months but I don't blame my aspergers, I blame my lack of experience. Try to find some things about having aspergers that are positive and stop viewing it as this huge tragedy. I've felt that way so I understand, but just try not to let other people see it. Just don't give up or stop trying. That's why I'm on here cause I'm not giving up on making new friends.



climategeek
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29 Aug 2018, 11:27 pm

:-D Yes, I did go to Halsey, the school was overall good, but this one abelist b***h ruined it all! She ruined not only my childhood, but I am still suffering the ramifications of it now. When I went to Halsey, I was beat up and bullied on an almost daily basis. The inclusion program director punished me and belittled me constantly for every time I got bullied which caused me to talk back to her and even cuss her out, which just got me in more trouble and because of her, I was diagnosed with ODD, which made my fight for equal rights put down as just my ODD acting up.

I was then sent to a special education school in Boston and when I came back even though my mom promised me she wasn't going to put me into an apartment with 24 hour superivsion which I was expecting and constantly predicting. I was so sure she was going to do that, I felt that the only way to avoid that, was to everything I was told and expected to do, no exceptions. Even though I followed every I was asked to the f*****g letter and was left alone 6 hours a day where I vacuumed, mopped, swept, washed all the dishes and not to mention set up the tables and cleaned them up after everybody ate. My mom a few months later during a meeting with the agency I currently live, lied blatantly claiming that I had horrible self-help and daily living skills and that I couldn't do anything without constant prompting and supervision. This was exactly what I predicted my mom would do, and that is exactly what she did. Authority has ruined my life, and nearly every time I expect them to do something bad to me, I am nearly always right.

Also, recently, my mom was starting to put me into self direction and just as I predicted, she cancelled it, and I was so sure she was going to cancel it, that I was telling all my friends that she will cancel it, I even told my broker that I expect my mom will cancel it. My mom went as far with her lie that she will get my self direction as paying the first month's rent and registration fee for the apartment that would have been with the new self direction program, then two days later she cancelled it. Why? She told me I was not ready and I got into a very heated and cuss filled meltdown with her and I forced her to tell me why I wasn't ready, that abelsit b***h's reason? Because I told tell her when I go places. I am a f*****g adult and if I told want to f*****g tell you something I don't have to tell your abelist ass anything! :x
Not ready because I am practicing independence, puh-lease! :roll:



climategeek
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30 Aug 2018, 11:14 pm

Almost all of the places that have rejected me I have lots of experience in that field so I know it's not because of experience of being rejected but because of the diagnosis stemming from the rampant ableism from the employer. I can't wait for autism to be accepted everywhere and for the ramp at 85% unemployment rate that we face to be eliminated.



climategeek
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30 Aug 2018, 11:17 pm

UPDATE!! !! ! I have now been dating my girlfriend for the past month and guess what, she's on the Spectrum 2 and I love her so much and this has been the best relationship I've had with anybody in a very long time. I hope to spend the rest of my life with this special person.



auntblabby
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31 Aug 2018, 12:59 am

^^^way to go! :star: :thumleft: I hope someday soon to see your wedding pics :queen: :king:



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