Has anyone else felt like social outcast/misfit?

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simplisticseth
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19 May 2012, 2:50 am

Some people never liked me and I will never understand why. Back when there were groups, I'd always get picked last. In high school, I NEVER got invited to any of the parties and never went to any of the dances (this includes prom). Throughout most of my life, I've been put-down or insulted because of how different I was to everyone else. Has anyone felt like this or has at least gone through exactly the same emotional distress and social isolation that I've been through?



MikaNeko
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19 May 2012, 3:16 am

Yes, yes and yes again. I was picked on in school and always left out, even when we had to pair up I was usually left on my own, I never had any friends either. I never made it through high-school as the bulling got so bad I had to leave. I'm supposed to be starting college soon and I'm not looking forward to it.


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redrobin62
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19 May 2012, 3:26 am

I think that 99% of the folks on WP, including me, feel the way you do.



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19 May 2012, 3:53 am

All aboard.


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19 May 2012, 4:01 am

Yes that all sounds familiar. I didn't go to any of the dances (we didn't have proms in them olden days when I was at school). I did not goon the school trips, I was always the last to be picked for P.E (sports). I went to four different schools and was bullied in all of them. I didn't finish High School and as a result have no exam qualifications. It's all a long time ago now, so I try not feel bitter.



aarpar
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19 May 2012, 8:52 am

Being raised in a conservative Christian home as well as having AS and an anger management problem really made things bad for me in high school and even into college. I hate school to be honest. I'm glad I'm graduating college this year.

I only dated twice in high school and the rest of the time I was alone. I tried to make friends in drama and in improv. Improv was bad because my misreading of social signals caused me to "block" certain scenarios. I tried dancing but that didn't change how people thought of me. The only real friend I had was the Ethiopian exchange student and he was always making excuses that his culture makes him different while I tried to give him proper street/high school hall smarts (he drove without a license and I told him it's not safe, and he said that in Ethiopia you don't need a license to drive to which I responded "You are in Canada. Driving without a license is a safety issue not a cultural one"). I wrote angry songs, but obviously no one listened. Yeah...sucks...


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lostgirl1986
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19 May 2012, 10:10 am

Yes, my whole life and just because I acted different from everybody else.



lostonearth35
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19 May 2012, 10:13 am

No, I have never felt that way at all...SARCASM. :roll:
My teen and early adult years were the worst before my diagnosis. I didn't fit in with anyone or anything, and I didn't really want to either. My mom would often scold or lecture me because I didn't act like a teenage girl and only really cared about drawing cartoons and I would sometimes say really stupid things that would almost embarrass my parents to death. I used to ask my mom why was I so different, and she really couldn't answer me before any of us had even heard of Asperger's.



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19 May 2012, 12:17 pm

Obviously. This IS an Asperger's forum.


Anyways, when I was a child (12 and under) I was just weird,especially once I got to upper El and middle school (which I had skipped a grade so i was 12 when I finished 8th grade) because everybody started caring about honor and respect and power and adult type things.

I never really cared much till I was 14. I had taken a break after 8th grade for a year so I could memorize the Qur'an. That wasn't such a bad endeavor due to my awesome Aspie memory.
But I did have some social issues at the mosque too. I still do through high school Muslim student association.

To top it off, due to my babying parents...I suck


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OliveOilMom
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19 May 2012, 1:02 pm

Oh yes. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I was in that exact situation until I learned how to get along in regular society. I had friends who actually took the time and trouble to explain things to me in detail, correct me, prompt me, tell me what to say, force me out of my comfort zone, etc. Now I'm not afraid to meet anyone or be stuck in a social situation or even stand in front of two thousand people and speak my mind. I've spoken my mind several times in front of tv cameras for the'local news about local events, and was on a morning talk radio show as a guest once. No nerves, it was fun and I did fine.

It takes lots of practice, help, and being willing to endure being uncomfortable.


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19 May 2012, 1:30 pm

Yes and I still do.


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JanuaryMan
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19 May 2012, 1:46 pm

Despite no one really picking on me later on in life and having a lot of social contacts I did still feel like I was "the funny one" (as in odd-funny). I feel like it a bit more these days cos everyone's moved on with their lives and I sort of haven't.



ELpH
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23 May 2012, 1:31 am

I constantly feel like a outcast and a misfit. Even when I was attending alcoholics anonymous meetings .

I am 37 and diagnosed with A.S. /ADHD.



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23 May 2012, 12:02 pm

simplisticseth wrote:
Some people never liked me and I will never understand why. Back when there were groups, I'd always get picked last. In high school, I NEVER got invited to any of the parties and never went to any of the dances (this includes prom). Throughout most of my life, I've been put-down or insulted because of how different I was to everyone else. Has anyone felt like this or has at least gone through exactly the same emotional distress and social isolation that I've been through?



Everything you mentioned I'm going through still. It's gotten to the point that I honestly believe in my heart that my parents despise me because of my aspergers. I'm the only child too. I honestly believe they hate me. If I didn't have aspergers, they would love me so much.


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23 May 2012, 12:23 pm

I'm not weird enough to be bullied. Well, I'm in college now and I heard bullying doesn't happen after high school. (kinda surprises me, how about bullying at work, which certainly is an issue)

I don't but much effort into camouflaging as I'm lucky in the sense that I come across as rather normal if I'm just being myself. I don't do smalltalk very well, but still I'm not super ultra out of line when it comes to conversations or discussing practical stuff.

I do feel like an outcast though. I don't have many friends and I don't understand most people and their hobbies and motivations; a lot of their behavior is beyond me. As a result, I can feel lonely and alienated. As if I'm half human but far from enough to act like most people.



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23 May 2012, 1:13 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Oh yes. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I was in that exact situation until I learned how to get along in regular society. I had friends who actually took the time and trouble to explain things to me in detail, correct me, prompt me, tell me what to say, force me out of my comfort zone, etc. Now I'm not afraid to meet anyone or be stuck in a social situation or even stand in front of two thousand people and speak my mind. I've spoken my mind several times in front of tv cameras for the'local news about local events, and was on a morning talk radio show as a guest once. No nerves, it was fun and I did fine.

It takes lots of practice, help, and being willing to endure being uncomfortable.


See, for me, I think I'm still awkward but I don't really have as much anxiety anymore. So it's sorta odd, not much anxiety, but people still tell me I do ____ awkwardly or whatever. I think it's the testosterone from working out more, that you just get more confident and don't care. I guess confidence=success, to a point. But I never had a DX until I was almost 18, and out of high school, and then when I got my DX I ignored it for 2 years figuring it was just those hokey psychologists with their made up mental disorders for normal things, but then I did the research on NVLD, and I made a friend who had NVLD like me, and yeah, it all fit.

I've never really felt like a total outcast, really, it's weird. Everywhere I go, I've always made a few friends that were good friends, but as far as fitting into large groups, that's where the problem is. I just can't mesh into group dynamic kinda things. But, I've always had friends, for the most part, but just fitting into large groups is a problem for me. That, and I tend to get along much better with older folks, like I'm 21, I probably get along better with people over like...28.

I wonder too, if it's I who feels weird around them more than they feel weird around me. I never realized for example that I'm fairly good looking, smart, good at a lot of stuff, etc, things that work for you in making friends. I think through my life, those things covered over my awkwardness a lot of the time. I wonder though, if people really think as negatively as I thought they thought they thought of me in high school. Hindsight is 20/20, obviously, I don't know one way or the other. But I wonder if I was just more confident in myself in high school, how far I'd have gotten socially. The other issue, too, though, was how far did I want to sacrifice to be popular, too. I had some of the cards for popularity, as I said before, but I never figured it was worth the compromise, to like, give up my anime or something like that to go there. It's quite weird, really, on one hand, I have all the makings of a "cool" person, my abilities, looks, and I'm actually very naturally outgoing, much more so than the "NTs" in my family, but sometimes I'm too outgoing. All those things equal a winner of sorts, but my NVLD and general weirdness seem to prevent that, though.

Oh well.