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starkid
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30 Aug 2012, 10:23 pm

Describe any people you've met with whom you felt relaxed, happy, and able to be yourself immediately or almost immediately upon meeting them. Also describe the circumstances in which you met if you think it is relevant.

I've had this happen to me twice, and I want to see if any patterns emerge.



again_with_this
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30 Aug 2012, 10:27 pm

Rosie Palm and her five sisters. I was about 12.

I used her pic for my avatar.



Colinn
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30 Aug 2012, 10:35 pm

That is a rather rare occurrence for me. I guess when I have met someone through another friend that was present that took the edge off a bit as it signifies they will most likely have similar traits to the friend and conversation upon meeting will most likely be maintained. If its a situation were I'm on my own it can depend on the environment, my current mood, and how many people are around. But I've never felt comfortable during an initial meeting on my own.



Casstranquility
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31 Aug 2012, 12:44 am

I've met a few people like that.

One person I met in high school, she was nice to everyone, she could make anyone feel at ease because she was genuinely sweet, caring and had a positive attitude. She never judged anyone and she was always happy to be there for people. I never got the chance to hang out with her much or be close friends because our classes didn't line up, but I'm now friends with her on facebook.

I met a woman at church who made me feel included and like I belonged there from almost the very start. She didn't demand I be a certain way, she always wanted my help and asked me to participate. She did her best not to judge others. She made me feel more comfortable than anyone else there. We're still friends.

Another woman I met at a library, she was an assistant. She seemed gentle and friendly, she didn't come off as fake or guarded. I felt at peace with her almost immediately.

I met a woman at one of my volunteer jobs who would smile and welcome me and never put me down or tell me to cheer up. She was just herself, caring and unassuming. I told her once that I felt safe with her.

I think what happens with me is that I read people... I sense whether a smile is genuine or forced. Also, I am easily affected by the way that people treat me, and if they don't have expectations about me, I automatically feel less pressure around them. My barriers dissolve in that space where I'm allowed to just be who I am without pretense.
Why are they able to have that effect... maybe it's because they don't judge as often or severely. They are themselves around us and give us permission to be ourselves around them.


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