[ Minor Rant ] I'm ignoring you! Deal with it!
I don't get it.
Why would an overly-sensitive and contentious person who sees conflict in even the most benign of statements suddenly declare that they are ignoring you? Do they believe that this will somehow hurt you? Do they think that depriving you of their abuse will somehow inspire you to beg them for more? Are they really so pride-filled that they believe that their presence somehow makes everyone else's life brighter and better?
It happens at work, at church, at the club, and even on-line. Yet when it happens, those people still talk to others about you (i.e., "Fnord is simply not worth my time"), and communicate with you through those others (i.e., "Tell Fnord that I'm still ignoring him.").
Sometimes, a person will shout "I'm leaving" or "I never want to see you again", stomp out of the room, and then take every opportunity to impose their presence on whomever they were allegedly departing from.
What's up with all that?
I just don't get it.
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Last edited by Fnord on 26 Apr 2019, 8:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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For my personal reasons, I'm currently researching the topic of covert narcissism. Honestly, the "failed narcissist" from this article rings some bell: https://medium.com/the-mission/do-you-h ... 3348ea694b
Yes, I believe people who do what you describe have so inflated egos that they can't imagine you don't give a damn weather they talk to you or not. It's also a form of attention seeking. Not healthy.
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
Yes, I believe people who do what you describe have so inflated egos that they can't imagine you don't give a damn weather they talk to you or not. It's also a form of attention seeking. Not healthy.
Maybe that explains why some of them will tell me something like "I can't believe you're not upset by this!", even though they've sworn that they will never speak to me again.
It's a form of manipulation, something like the old "My Way or The Highway" ultimatum -- they're looking for affirmation from you of their ability to affect you emotionally ... or something like that ... ?
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Yes, I believe people who do what you describe have so inflated egos that they can't imagine you don't give a damn weather they talk to you or not. It's also a form of attention seeking. Not healthy.
Maybe that explains why some of them will tell me something like "I can't believe you're not upset by this!", even though they've sworn that they will never speak to me again.
It's a form of manipulation, something like the old "My Way or The Highway" ultimatum -- they're looking for affirmation from you of their ability to affect you emotionally ... or something like that ... ?
That's how I interpret this kind of behavior.
It's funny when someone uses the "My Way or The Highway" ultimatum on an independent adult, isn't it?
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
To use a poker analogy, "My Way or The Highway" is a bluff used by someone who thinks they hold all of the cards, and it shocks the hell out of them when I call the hand.
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Yup, I find that the best way, too. I always figured that folks like that are just projecting their own insecurity about being ignored onto me. Fine - if that's the case, it hurts them more than it hurts me if I take them at their word; hoisted by their own petard!
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When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.
The harder they bluff, the less they hold.
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Fnord, we have to clarify whenever we're ignoring you because you write these things as if your life makes more sense than everyone else's.
I'm ignoring this now because it's clear you're just whining. Someone should lock this thread for talking behind people's backs.
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
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Yes, you are whining. I'm not going to fight you, I'm going to work before you say otherwise.
I'm here to say I'm ignoring your BS, period.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
Maybe that explains why some of them will tell me something like "I can't believe you're not upset by this!", even though they've sworn that they will never speak to me again.
It's a form of manipulation, something like the old "My Way or The Highway" ultimatum -- they're looking for affirmation from you of their ability to affect you emotionally ... or something like that ... ?
It's attention seeking behaviour. Since for them being ignored is the worst possible thing, they can't imagine how come it doesn't affect you.
Since they consider themselves hurt by you and your refusal to validate them, they seek to inflict similar hurt on you. In their warped view they are the victim and you the abuser. Fair warning, such people often drag others into it and they will gossip and try to force others to "take sides".
_________________
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
All either of you are doing here is gossiping. That is a solid reason for people to explicitly ignore you.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
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