How Can I Get People to Listen to What I Say?

Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts ] 

starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

04 Dec 2012, 12:23 am

I am so angry; I am literally shaking with anger right now. I have had yet another miscommunication problem. People won't take what I say at face value. Instead of addressing what I say to them, they either guess at my motivation for saying it and assume they are right with no evidence, or start addressing some other, related issue that is not the same thing as what I ask about. It happens over and over again, and it is driving me crazy with rage.

In addition to that, things usually get worse if I try to explain the misunderstanding. I'm afraid I'll be seen as pedantic, and the other person gets irritated because they just don't have the patience or interest to actually listen. They think the situation is simpler than it actually is, and don't see the need for any explanation. Being misunderstood on one hand and not feeling welcome to fix the misunderstanding on the other hand leaves me with no outlet to express myself. I feel trapped, and it provokes social anxiety. I have limited the amount of time I spend on forums or talking with people in real life because of it, and it still happens. I can't just keep avoiding conversations with people. I need another strategy.



lazamb_girl
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 98

04 Dec 2012, 2:12 am

This is actually a horrible advice..but this is how I do it..
I go over and over in my head as to what exactly I would say.. Then think of various ways to interpret what I am saying and finally come up with a relatively safe version.
Well I stay out of trouble with others with this strategy. But my head is a mess a lot of times.
Sometimes I rant and burst out to my close friend when my brain is over worked with all kinds of interpretations and none of them seem harmless. Last resort, I assume that I have offended the other and shut them out.

If you can water down this version or take away something from this, go ahead. Else please ignore. I do not want to push someone else into this misery.


_________________
AQ- 37/EQ : 15/SQ : 44/ BAP : Autistic/BAP (120 aloof, 104 rigid and 92 pragmatic)
Aspie Quiz: Aspie :130/200;NT score: 72/200;You are very likely an Aspie. Alexithymia test :135