24 and never been clubbing dated or been invited to parties

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And as I get older with each passing year the more insecure I feel about this. I find it very hard to approach people I don't know. I can make small talk; 'how are you'? 'fine' (even if not). 'how is your weekend'? But I find this empty and meaningless, unless the conversation develops into a interesting conversation but even then I feel awkward. The thing is I love socialising but years of teasing, bullying, exclusion and false 'friends' as well as a self-esteem issues and depression means that I withdraw and become reclusive . As a coping measure I have always enjoyed food and excessive drinking

Since my teens I can spend all day in bed and stay up all night either online or watching endless films/series. I usually don't like to go out unless I absolutely have to (errands, work) but usually I may stay in bed, I may get out of bed somewhere in the late afternoon.

It could be viewed that all those things are shallow and bull sh!t but all I see around me is people my own age living their life and while I feel like mine is passing me by.

Recently I decided that I might be proactive, its not easy when battling depression.

Yay! <Throws hands up> We have another one, Mabel! I'm actually referring to folks with AvPD - Avoidant Personality Disorder. Seems you might have developed tinges of it, maybe more. Some of your symptoms describe it anyway. Whatever the label, welcome to WP.

I'll speak for myself and also as a person who is much closer to your age (28) rather than twice. If you read this please pardon my writing it can be all over the place. To answer your main question I didn't exactly go to clubs it was more the rave scene. I think and no its not a suggestion just what I did and that would be a lot of XTC. Parties, clubbing, and all that is fun but I have not one friend to show for all the great times. not to mention it didn't help going through 9 different school placements dropping and than going back on my own just for ME to get a diploma.

The thing I think me and you both agree on is the T.V./netflix is the bestest friend any aspie (and f**k i hate that term) can have. I'll try and write you again if your interested. All i know is I'm all alone my father is in prison my mother is in a mental prison and I have not one person to talk to let alone get help.

I've been a couple times. I'm twenty-eight. I hated it. It's a sensory hell. You're not missing out on anything....just a couple wasted hours and a massive headache.

I did it once and absolutely hated it. No sir, i prefer spending time with a few friends playing video games and watching movies. I rather even work then to go clubbing.

I used to do this almost every week between 17-20. Nowadays it tends to be a couple of times a year, and I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I guess 25 is getting on a bit for it.

Clubbing is not worth it. Unless you really like electronic music or chart pop -- then there might be a point. It's all overload -- and that's the intent. EDM (electronic dance music) people say that the visceral nature of the music lends to this amazing sensory experience. I don't get it.

Same with bars/pubs. I just don't get it. There are a surprising amount of normal/neurotypical people who actually believe you go meet new people at a bar. I am pretty certain bars are just a vehicle for meeting up with your friends.

Lots of flashing lights, tons of people packed into a small space, loud music, bad music, thick smoky air...I'll pass. I get headaches just from movies so a club is out of the question. I've been on runs to the club when I'm taking my turn on the ambulance but thats it. First thing I do is get them outside so I can hear and concentrate. 25, never been and don't plan on it ever.

It's nothing to be embarrased about.

I've only been a couple of times, and it's mainly darkness, flashy lights, crampness and deafness from all the loud music. It's also a scene for sexual pickups with random strangers and drugs as well.

Like the only time I'll ever go is if my family or a close friend invites me. Other than that
I prefer going to a quiet pub and having a drink while playing pool.

I go out pretty much every weekend. Those of you who responded "Never"... you aren't missing much. Going out to bars, clubs, and parties and enjoying myself generally requires one of two things for me: 1.) Being surrounded by people I already know... or 2.) Absolutely MASSIVE amounts of alcohol. Neither of these are very conducive to what I take to be the main point of these activities, which is, to put it bluntly, to f**k.

The only reason I do it so often is because it's what my friends do... and well, peer pressure is a hell of a thing.

i just turned 21 a few months ago, so i've been out a few times.

yeah it can get a little overwhelming at first, but i enjoy it. i'd do it again.

Hated clubs. Give me a quieter pub/bar and a couple friends any Friday over a club.

I used to go all the time with my friends because I didn't want them to think I was lame. It was often very uncomfortable unless I was drunk. I go occasionally now, mostly to see drag shows.

You're not missing out on much in terms of clubbing. Don't ever mourn about that, not everyone is into that anyway. There are many types of people your age...not just people who like to go clubbing.

You really need to ask yourself what you want out of life and out of other people right now. Then, you will need to make some changes depending on what you want.

Clearly you are lonely and are dissatisfied with not having friends. It would be a good idea to put yourself out there and make some. Are you working or in school? The people you see around at both of those places would be good place to start. If you don't have any daily activities, it would be good idea to get some in place as you will have a routine and something to fill up your day. Do a web search for employment agencies who assist people with disabilities if you feel you're out of luck with getting jobs.

Alternatively, there is meetup.com and craigslist in terms of meeting friends...I have met a few friends on both of those sites through common views, values and interests.

As for small talk, it is annoying, but you have to do it a lot in order for people to move to the deeper stuff. You will need to choose friends who don't rely on this much and are more open and honest with themselves if you want to get around this. Look for people who are introverts and who like the same games and shows that you do: that way you will ahve something in common.

Of course, if you want to bypass this altogether, you can find some people on the spectrum through meetup or various ASD support agencies. Many people I know on the spectrum get along best with others on the spectrum.

After years of drifting from course to course-dropping out etc and struggling with finding employment, I found an apprenticeship-work based employment in catering and hospitality. Its not what I wanted but its best thing I've obtained in terms of earning a bit of money and gaining a qualification with job prospects. I usually make an attempt at small talk and conversation when necessary and not to seem awkward but I feel fraught with anxiety and tension to come up with things to say and to seem natural but I find these interactions empty.
I think its mainly due to the fact that I have nothing in common with them? Once I was conversing to the manager about what I did at the weekend and was explaining that I watched some films downloaded and she remarks 'it's good that you have something do in the evenings' aka since you have no boyfriend (I told her this previously when she inquired) and no social life...

I know I should 'put myself out there' but due to the aforementioned issues as stated above I tend not to bother. My mum (who has very little understanding of the difficulties I face in term of socialization) and I always have this frustrating conversation where she nags me to 'join a church/church youth group' ' 'talk to people' etc.

I have no one in my family who I can talk to, no one takes notice of my diagnosis of AS and are too busy there own lives to give a shit-not that I'm close to any of them, I am seen as this misfit.
I just feel lonely and overwhelmingly frustrated with how stagnant and repetitive my days are becoming and angry with my situation and with myself, I am so sick of me. I'm fed up of moping about.

I think maybe I do need religion in my empty life.

well, I do go to a pizza party every once a month to twice a month but it's not ''real party'' it's more of a social gathering.
I use to go to parties, but I prefer being alone. but once in a while all right.