I had two friends in my life, and now, I do not have anyone. I forgot how to mantain a friendship.
It's hard to me to find someone like me because there is not enough diversity in the little town I live.
But there are seven billion people in this world, so we should keep hope of finding a "friend"
I sometimes miss it very much, but then I remember all the pain, frustration, humiliation, anxiety, fear, insecurity, rejection, criticism, envy, mocking, scapegoating, double-standards, one-upmanship, manipulation, control attempts, 2nd class citizen treatment and the desire dwindles.
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There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer
BigSnoopy126
Snowy Owl
Joined: 13 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 172
Location: 5 miles north of 5 miles south of me
Some of that sounds like what one became in college after grade school through high school were really good.
I told a mutual friend to tell him about my Asperger's now, years later. I'm sure he understands but at the same time think he probably figures like I do that it's just best we went our separate ways.
Thankfully I have some friends from high school and before I keep in touch with via e-mail though they've left the state, and some really good ones from church. If I had the money I know the one would love to hve me accompany him on trips to Green Bay. He loves to be silly and random and all that weirdness like the frist one I mentioned did when we were little.
I think the nice thing about the ones I know now is we don't take ourselves so seriously. I'll admit I fell into that pattern before I knew what it was I had - and it's borderline, could be PDD-NOS - but part of that, too, was because I was becoming like that first best friend did, because I was too used to just going witht he flow.
Now, this best friend and I get along really well. I'll say some weird thigns sometimes, but we can laugh about it and I know he doesn't care that i'm a little nuts.
A perfect example - we were watching football & he starts complaining about the referee throwing a flag when "our guy never touched the receiver." So I said "it was a flag for throwing an invisible force field at him." Then the guy asks how the ref could see if it was invisible, and I said, "a bird went on it." We can laugha t that kidn fo stuff; my best friend from grade school like that kind of stuff up through high school, then he got more and more embarrassed to be around me.
Church may not be for everyone, but in the right church, people will realize they're cared for.
If I get too busy and don't come back for months again now, thanks. You guys may have helped me write my next message to the online contacts I have with my online missions work t godlife.com.
I have no friends at all
is anyone else in this situation?
I used to face the music 10 years ago before I began joining some Autism support groups 9 years ago after moving way out of state. After a while, being a loner became old hat for me and it did not phase me anymore about really having anyone to associate with.
Anyway, it used to bother me from time to time again, being alone did not really bother me since I could do what I wanted when I wanted. Still, I feel your pain.
Having a special someone has been harder for me since I never had that chance to have a boyfriend.
I can echo you guys' sentiments. After I left secondary school at age 16, I lost contact with my classmates (I had no friends outside of school), partly because I moved to a city on the other side of the country. I was pretty much alone until my 23rd. And even then, I only had 2 acquaintances. Not even friends. Those relationships dissolved pretty quickly, and I've been going it alonge ever since.
It does still get lonely sometimes, but I can deal with it a whole lot better these days. But I feel your pain.
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clarity of thought before rashness of action
Other than a few family members, I've been alone for about three years. I used to have a bunch of people to hangout with during and for a while after college. But most of them had gotten married and started having kids, moved and/or just stopped contacting me over time. Then I got divorced and pretty much lost all our "mutual" friends even though it was a relatively mild divorce. That was about three years ago. I never really missed having friends, at least it never made me sad. I like being alone and I've had co-workers to talk to about various things that I'm interested in that are not based around work.
Then, through the advice of my behavioral therapist, I was encouraged to seek out some people to hangout with that share my interests. So about a month ago I joined a "nerd" group through an internet site and started hanging out with them. It takes a lot energy out of me to meet and interact with people, but so far, it's been preferable to always being alone. I only do something one or times a week for a few hours at a time so it doesn't cut up my alone relaxing time too much. Plus I've met a few people that I like that aren't very draining to talk and listen to, where I can be more of myself without worrying too much. I don't mind not being alone if I don't have to worry about being myself with other people.
Still no new friends yet, and most seem to stare at me oddly, but they seem to enjoy talking to me and laugh at my occasional jokes.