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Do my friends expect me to go?
Poll ended at 06 Nov 2013, 4:08 pm
Yes 100%  100%  [ 9 ]
No 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 9

leafplant
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07 Oct 2013, 4:08 pm

Hello everyone, I am new here. I don't really know if I am on the spectrum for sure, but I most likely am. I get massive sensory issues, people issues and social cue issues - this last one is the reason for this thread.

I have been around for a while and have learned how to get along with people mostly (although everyone I know still thinks of me as quirky /sigh/) but every now and then I come across a situation where I am just not sure what is the best thing to do. I wish there was an "Ask NT" forum here for that kind of advice, but maybe some of you have NT parents or friends you could ask on my behalf? (I don't feel like I can ask any of my NT friends because they would be too close to this particular issue).

So the issue is this: friends of mine have had a baby recently and I just received an email invitation to the Christening of their baby. I am in complete conflict about this because I value their friendship and want to do the right thing but have no idea what the right thing is to do on this occasion because of the fact that I didn't go to their wedding and I know that the female part of this couple is still a bit cross at me for not going, although the reason I didn't go is because her husband had been mean to me and really upset me and never apologised (we have since repaired the friendship) but nobody every acknowledged this fact because it's just not what you do in the NT world.
The point is this: I really don't want to go to this thing, it sounds tedious and it's a Church thing and I am very much not religious and there will be loads of people I don't know at their house afterwards which is making me nervous already just thinking about it. Also, I don't know if I was invited just out of politeness and they wouldn't really care if I didn't show up or if it is one of those Big things that people never forgive you for not going to (like the wedding).

Anyway, I would really appreciate some thoughts on what is the best thing to do. I would obviously like to preserve the friendship, so if I have to go, I will, but if it's not such a big deal, I'd rather not go.

Thank you!



cathylynn
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07 Oct 2013, 4:57 pm

if she was angry about you missing the wedding, she'll be the same about this.



Kinme
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08 Oct 2013, 2:43 am

Women tend to take things personally, even if you tell them not to. That's just how a lot of them roll. You'll be causing more issues for yourself if you don't go. I know the feeling, as this has happened to me countless times.



leafplant
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08 Oct 2013, 6:14 am

thank you both. I guess I knew it would have to be that way if I am honest but when you don't want to do something you work very hard to find ways to get out of it...

ah well :roll: