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NatureLover
Raven
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Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 28
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Location: Texas

05 Jan 2014, 11:23 pm

I can only look at certain people in the eyes, mostly those that I've known for long, but strangers? I can only look at them for five seconds, then I switch my eyes elsewhere with some motioning of my hands as I speak. Glancing is pretty much what I do. Also, if a person appears be very kind and very comfortable for me, I can make eye contact, but not for long though.



ShotgunRider
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Age: 24
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07 Jan 2014, 5:02 pm

I don't have problems keeping eye contact, but I don't usually look people in the eyes, instead I look at their foreheads. I can look them in the eyes if I want, but I just don't find it appropriate for typical conversation.
I'd use direct eye contact only in 2 situations:
1.A heated argument/conflict with someone.
2.When trying to flirt w/ a girl(resulting in rejection, go figure).



Briareos
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Joined: 6 Jan 2014
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Location: Central Canada

08 Jan 2014, 10:14 pm

I can only do eye contact with people I've established a comfort level with; even then I prefer to look away. If I'm really uncomfortable, I need to close my eyes to even speak what i wanted to say.



SirReality
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08 Jan 2014, 10:48 pm

I can generally maintain eye contact for most of the time. I used to be pretty bad where I would look the other way or up at the ceiling/sky. Sometimes I'll cheat if I'm not feeling well and stare at their eyebrows, so to them it looks like I'm making eye contact. :D



EchoNOLA
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 7 Jul 2012
Age: 33
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Location: Seattle, WA

10 Jan 2014, 2:16 pm

I have really poor eye contact. I wouldn't say that I'm actively avoidant... I'll look at you if you tell me to, but I generally don't look at the person I'm talking to unless I'm thinking about it. Not even in their direction usually. I'll just face forward.



structrix
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14 Jan 2014, 11:46 am

Yes, I also find it hard to talk to people and look them in the eye if I am the one speaking. It's much easier when they are speaking.



accountinglad
Deinonychus
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Joined: 4 Dec 2013
Age: 26
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17 Jan 2014, 1:32 pm

i tend to either stare at people or show barely any eye contact and it also depends on the person



kazma
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 1 Jul 2012
Age: 35
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17 Jan 2014, 8:52 pm

iv been told its good but i tend to force it as i can feel it making me uneasy as i do it



slw1990
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18 Jan 2014, 8:44 pm

When people talk to me I think I usually make good eye contact most of the time, but sometimes I look at their hair or something instead. Then if I try to make eye contact when I talk to them I usually have trouble more putting my thought's into words and stutter sometimes. I think I stare too sometimes without realizing it, but most of the time it's when I'm not talking to the person because sometimes people seem uncomfortable or give me a weird look.



wowiexist
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19 Jan 2014, 12:05 am

Mine is horrible. I have to concentrate really hard if I have to look someone in the eyes.



equestriatola
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Location: Half of me is in the Washington state, the other Los Angeles.

19 Jan 2014, 3:16 am

Not that good, still.


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IceKitten
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25 Jan 2014, 11:55 am

When I meet new people, I don't know what they look like because I always look at something else around me.


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Rocket123
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25 Jan 2014, 12:52 pm

I believe my eye contact is poor. I have read on this forum that there is a “7 second rule” (where you are supposed to lock eyes for a particular period of time). However, I find it quite distracting to lock eyes with another person for anything other than a micro-second. So, generally, if I am looking at someone’s eyes and they are looking somewhere else, once they look back in my eyes, I almost immediately divert my eyes.

It’s almost as if, when I lock eyes, I need to stop thinking about everything else (including any discussion I am having). It is that invasive.

To better focus on the discussion, I noticed that I look at people’s mouth. I am not trying to read lips. It’s just easier to focus, listen and think (about what I need to say next, in the discussion).

Additional thoughts:
1. Before my diagnosis (last year), making eye contact wasn’t something I noticed at all. I never realize I exhibited poor contact. I was just something I never really thought about it. I only became conscious of my lack of eye contact after learning about Aspergers.

2. Before my diagnosis (last year), I often times fidgeted in social situations, not knowing where to place my arms. Do I let them hang down. Do I put them in front? Behind my back? Cross them? Since my diagnosis, I now fidgeted in social situations, not knowing where to direct my gaze. Do I look down? Do I look in the mouth? Do I do a quick gaze in the eye? Do I stare out in space?



RedStar98
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Joined: 30 Dec 2013
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Location: England

25 Jan 2014, 2:30 pm

I never really make eye contact, it just makes me distracted and uncomfortable


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delaSHANE
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25 Jan 2014, 2:39 pm

Null and void. Nonexistent.



aspieZim
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Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Age: 32
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Location: Santa Ana, CA

25 Jan 2014, 3:30 pm

I look people in the eye when i talk or listen to them, but it feels so weird to me. It seems to be rude to me to stare that them.
My eye contact is so good people don't believe me when i tell them i have aspergers. My therapist didn't believe me until I showed her a copy of my IEP.

The only time I have trouble with eye contact is when i'm thinking and talking, or when i'm talking to someone and trying to answer something truthfully. Which is ironic because then they think I'm lying since normal people break eye contact when they lie.

Making eye contact was the first things i learned and adopted immediately after learning i had aspergers and worked to 'fix' it. I've been doing it for so long that it's automatic and involuntary, but it still feels so weird.