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soundofsilence
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10 Jan 2014, 12:18 am

I was telling a long-distance friend on fb that some things have been stressing me out lately. She asked me if I was okay and I told her that I'm used to it and can manage. She wrote back, "Keep hanging in there :) Feel free to talk to me anytime, ok?" What does this mean?



KingofKaboom
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10 Jan 2014, 12:22 am

It means you told someone you are stressed out and to be nice they said they would listen. It's a generic response when someone says something like that. Doesn't actually mean she will listen, it's just the "nice" thing to say.


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tall-p
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10 Jan 2014, 12:39 am

It means, "I am here for you."


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KingofKaboom
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10 Jan 2014, 1:01 am

tall-p wrote:
It means, "I am here for you."
That's too literal of an interpretation and easily misunderstood.


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10 Jan 2014, 1:14 am

KingofKaboom wrote:
tall-p wrote:
It means, "I am here for you."
That's too literal of an interpretation and easily misunderstood.


The OP is a female herself. Another woman offered her an ear. Naturally, women like to listen and support eachother when they need the help and validate eachothers feelings and their right to their feelings. Guys on the other hand would rather go into their cave when they are stressed and handle things on their own first before saying anything about it.

OP, I believe she was being nice, and quite possibly sincere. You have an outlet to have your feelings discussed if you need to. If she won't listen, then you can find anyone else who will. You do have the right to discuss your feelings to whomever you trust.


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10 Jan 2014, 3:54 am

'Keep hanging in there' just means she hopes you continue managing. I think she's sincere and concerned about you. If you want to keep her as a friend then just beware of always talking about your problems and make sure you talk about other stuff show an interest in what she's doing too. Apologies if that is stating the obvious.



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10 Jan 2014, 8:38 am

soundofsilence wrote:
... "Keep hanging in there :) Feel free to talk to me anytime, ok?" What does this mean?

It means that while she is willing to hear from you about your troubles, she is not willing to get involved.

It's called a "Well-meaning brush-off", and you'll likely never be more than just a friend to her.



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10 Jan 2014, 8:40 am

pep talk.



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10 Jan 2014, 8:44 am

IDLE pep talk. While anyone can post a few words of encouragement, it takes someone really special to get involved and try to make things better.



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10 Jan 2014, 8:48 am

Fnord wrote:
IDLE pep talk. While anyone can post a few words of encouragement, it takes someone really special to get involved and try to make things better.


It does say she's a long distance friend though. Talking things through with the op might be all she's able to do.



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10 Jan 2014, 11:49 am

Honestly I tell people the same basic "You can talk to me" type thing a lot. Here's what I've meant by it in various online long-distance situations:

To another female friend who was having guy troubles:
-I wanted to offer myself as someone to talk to and a sounding board for her ideas to help her sort out her ideas and come up with solutions.

To a guy who was just depressed and had been going on about it for some time:
-I wanted to let him know that I was closing the conversation but would be willing to listen again another time.

To a close friend who was having family problems:
-I wanted to give him someone to talk to because it seemed like he had a lot to say but no one to say it to. I was trying to initiate a conversation to let him air his concerns.

Just a couple examples, but she is probably trying to be friendly and show her concern. I understand that some people may say this as a brush-off, but personally I never mean it as such.



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10 Jan 2014, 3:03 pm

aspiemike wrote:
KingofKaboom wrote:
tall-p wrote:
It means, "I am here for you."
That's too literal of an interpretation and easily misunderstood.


The OP is a female herself. Another woman offered her an ear. Naturally, women like to listen and support eachother when they need the help and validate eachothers feelings and their right to their feelings. Guys on the other hand would rather go into their cave when they are stressed and handle things on their own first before saying anything about it.

OP, I believe she was being nice, and quite possibly sincere. You have an outlet to have your feelings discussed if you need to. If she won't listen, then you can find anyone else who will. You do have the right to discuss your feelings to whomever you trust.
Women also like to manipulate and control and backstab. Men don't play as many mind games with men they punch each other and move on. Don't take what a woman says at face value.


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10 Jan 2014, 3:53 pm

I think she's being genuine. What a load of misery guts these guys are :roll:

Hang in there is a way of saying, be strong, you can get through it. She is concerned about you and a good way to express that is to be there for you if you need to talk. If you feel like you aren't coping send her a message, if she responds (not necessarily immediately, she might not be anywhere near her computer) she meant it truthfully.



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10 Jan 2014, 4:05 pm

At first glance this sounds genuine but really people can say these things and they can be meaningless. Judge it by whether she really is there for you. Actions speak louder than words.



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11 Jan 2014, 2:09 am

KingofKaboom wrote:
aspiemike wrote:
KingofKaboom wrote:
tall-p wrote:
It means, "I am here for you."
That's too literal of an interpretation and easily misunderstood.


The OP is a female herself. Another woman offered her an ear. Naturally, women like to listen and support eachother when they need the help and validate eachothers feelings and their right to their feelings. Guys on the other hand would rather go into their cave when they are stressed and handle things on their own first before saying anything about it.

OP, I believe she was being nice, and quite possibly sincere. You have an outlet to have your feelings discussed if you need to. If she won't listen, then you can find anyone else who will. You do have the right to discuss your feelings to whomever you trust.

Women also like to manipulate and control and backstab. Men don't play as many mind games with men they punch each other and move on. Don't take what a woman says at face value.


And you just covered a big reason why men like to go to their caves to solve a problem. :)
Men do this because they can't show weakness and want to prove their competence in solving their own problems. Most women I have met don't work that way.. they are always confiding to someone about what is upsetting them emotionally. Whether this is to manipulate or not is a whole other topic in itself.


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