It's very hard trying to live a normal life when people..

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Yes. Hope is all well and good, but if you keep doing the same things you'll keep getting the same results. Realistically, there is little reason to believe future visits will be any different than previous ones. If she was your friend, would your problems annoy her or would she be willing to help you out with them? There is a middle ground; talking to her all the time about all and each one of your issues wouldn't be good either, but I'd bet you're not doing it enough. And if you make time for her whenever she needs to talk, that leads to her, consciously or unconsciously, taking you for granted. If you have time, help her out, by all means. If you don't, unless it's really an urgency you shouldn't sacrifice your time too much. When you're busy, you're busy. She can wait. And she could use knowing that you're not always available, that your life doesn't revolve around her (does it? I don't know) and that she should also put an effort into the relationship. Is she putting an effort?

I am not planning to visit again, not this year anyway. It's a bit unpredictable, sometimes she would want to hear my problems and other times she would ignore me. I am very confused so that's probably why I am afraid and I only talk about my problems when they get huge.

My life does not revolve around her. I used to want to say hello to every day but I've been trying to keep a healthy distance while I sort my head out. But I am very softhearted and I feel mean if I don't reply to her messages immediately. And then she ignores my reply and I get pulled back into the confusion all over again. No wonder I prefer the company of cats and dogs!

Asserting one's boundaries can feel like being mean, or like being harsh, but it is also something that is necessary. When you fail to do so, people get the idea they can treat you the way they want.

Ah! I will try it. Thank you Shatbat.

Of course, I've felt like an outsider my whole life, even though I've become more and more extroverted and self-confident. It's not an issue of getting people to like me, I feel more like people are very interested in me but then sense my lack of social tenacity and get a bit disappointed. There are several people back home who would probably do anything for me, they know everything about me and truly love me and think I'm something special. And I really do appreciate them but when it's up to me to reciprocate, I don't feel the need to pick up the phone or message them on Facebook. I just started college and now I feel like I'm doing a better job of making friends than I ever have, but I still have a long ways to go...

If you're all not questioning whether a normal NT life is worth even wishing you had, let alone compromising your individuality to get, please start now. In fact, I can't believe you're not, all that alone time and that notion never occurred to you...? It's one big chore and plenty of people on the inside are aware of that on some level. They are perfectly in tune with society and what it wants but they have no clue about their own selves. If they could ever break free and discover themselves, then they would really want to change their lifestyle accordingly. Having a greater capacity for being alone can result in being alone, now turn this into a positive - not having a busy social schedule means no commitments, and no commitments means freedom. So use that freedom to get out and see the world. I'm already going to college in a fantastically beautiful place 1,600 miles from home, while all of my "friends" back there are living for nothing more than parties at the sorority house. Not that it's a competition though, it's for my own sake because my loner tendencies leave me with but myself to answer to - so I'm dreaming big, for myself, and I hope and pray that I can keep up the chase to them.