Friends that fade away with no good reason

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Note; this is long, so please just read the first paragraph if you don't wanna read the whole thing.

I just wanted to share my experience with friends and see if anyone else relates. I have always longed for close friends and seem to have had many close friends who just seem to drift away over time for no apparent reason. It's baffling really. I understand people moving away, people mitiqlly developing new differences, etc, but I'm talking like when you still see people and have no reason to not enjoy each other as much as you used to, but you just don't. Or when YOU still care for the relationship the same, but the other person seems to have lost interest.

I don't really see this happening to other people, but idk. Maybe other people just don't care to care about the same people forever. To me, "I love you" doesn't mean you change your mind or stop treating a person like you mean it ust because you make new friendships. I have been struggling with my "best friend" for a little while now and she seems to just kinda be over me. Our lives have changed since we first got close, but we were really really close and made promises to be sisters and take care of each other. I have known many people to remain close even with great distances between them. It's different, but still kind and inclusive.

The thing is, When her other friends are around, she acts like the friendly, funny, caring, happy to lucky girl I feel in love with. But she is always so literal and impatient with me. She gets mad if I try to talk about what changed between us. She claims she lovese the same and says she would tell me straight up if she didn't want to be friends anymore (which I truly believe she would), but she acts so aloof. I just feel like I notice a huge double standard between the way she deals with me and other friends.

I don't want to give up because I don't want to break my promises, but I'm so discouraged. I understand why many of you have given up on having relationships. This friend dealt with me and was so loving when I was at my very worst, so I figured it had to just get better from there. Apparently not.

I'm just tired and so confused. But I have a feeling that if I give up on this, I will not be willing to put any more efforts into new friendships because the same thing is bound to happen.

for me its always been maturity they seem to "grow up faster " and so move on in that way even now

That makes sense. Kinda like benjamin button. No matter what, always on a different wavelength and literally never able to find lasting connections or comforts in anyone.

I have had close friends before, but they always seemed to make fun of me when we were around other people. After that I became reluctant to hang out with them. I think then we faded apart. Does your friend have any new interests or anything like that that you could take an interest in with her? Sometimes people's interests change. I had someone who I was hoping to be close friends with then she all of the sudden met an entirely new set of friends and became interested in something that I wasn't interested in or good at at all.

Biggest two problems I've run into:

1.) People get tired of my inability to find a girlfriend, get tired of third wheeling.

2.) I might get to comfortable to soon.

I understand banana247. See, I've often been one of those friends who drifts away. I was usually very tactical about how I did it though! Got to try change my ways! Hope things start looking up for you.

This has happened a lot with people whom I've gotten to know over the Internet........mostly it's that they stop answering/sending e-mails, and don't show up in chat rooms or on instant message systems.

In real life, the friends i made in school, would realise that the same person i am within the school walls is the same person i am on the weekends, and even years later i'm still pretty much the same. so as they grow up and form part of society and gain influence in the environment around them, i guess they realise i don't, or can't do the same, and they just drop me since i'm of no real benefit to them anymore.
As for people on the net who've faded away i suppose they just didn't see me as any benefit either and then just left. to be honest i can't really say for sure, but that's the impression it gave me when they stop corresponding. it used to bug me a lot, but i guess that's part of life. people come and go. even though i want them to stay, sometimes that's just not possible for whatever reason.

I have had a few situations like this myself where someone is in my life for a short time. It's when they find this niche in life that I am not important enough anymore. Like you they keep me around even though they don't respect you as a person.
There is always a big picture to a situation like that.

Ask yourself:
1. Did she really like you in the first place?
2. Was she much of a friend to begin with?

Her behavior:
1. She is getting mad at you for calling her out because she is guilty of disrespecting you as a person.
2. She is keeping you around to suppress all of that guilt while truly not being sorry. In other words you are just a reminder to her own actions and behaviors.
3. If she does love you, the other person is their whole world at this current time.

As for you, I would not beat yourself up over losing friends over the sake of "Their" interests. Most people just are not capable of being friends. A real friend is hard to find and when you do find the real thing you will know.

I had lost a childhood friend after 6 years of what I thought was a great relationship. Then she found out that dating was a number one priority and that I was too dorky and nerdy for her. She lost her interest in me because she suddenly so much more mature and better than I was. Yes she kept me around and mainly to use me for things or call whenever she wanted something. In the mean time, I was too geeky, and childish for her which left 85% of the time to make fun of me. Mainly because I had the one track mind where I talked about Disney stuff all the time. I also had the mind of a nine year old. I let her go for two and a half years. Things have not quite been the same for us since though and she found it fun and games to brush me off and lead me off.

During that two year period, I bonded with a van driver who was in her 50's at the age of 17. who drove me to school. I can tell you right now that even though I moved away, she did not lose any interest in me and vice versa. In fact, we are still friends to this day. We still write to each other and call one another. She is the example of a real friend.

My advice to you on the spectrum want to make and keep connections, just hang in there and enjoy the things that you do. Sooner or later you will meet someone who is the true definition of a friend.

As for your friend, my advice would would be to just ignore her and quietly cut her out of your life. There are others who do care believe me.

A friend once counseled me that I might be happier if I gracefully allowed people to come into my life and out of my life. I have found that the same applies to my gracefully allowing friendships to ebb, flow, and evolve.

It is when I get willful about pushing friendships in the direction that I want, without listening to and respecting what the other person wants, that I ultimately wind up pushing them away.

For me it just happens. I have recently made a huge effort to reconnect with them, but so much time has passed that they have completely forgotten who I am.