Meet Up with other Aspies - Pros and Cons?

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So I'm recently diagnosed last year at 39. Of course I've spent this last year trying to figure things out about my past, some on-and-off again therapy, doing a bunch of AS research, etc. However, I've only recently began to be curious about others with Asperger's and if interaction with "my kind" would be beneficial. Hence, the joining of this forum and some Meet Up groups.

There is an upcoming Meet Up session that I am thinking about attending at a local coffee house and I am debating myself on whether I should go or not. I do have some anxiety about meeting a group of strangers, although I am sure I wouldn't be the only one to feel this way (it is an AS meeting after all).

Anyway, does anybody out there have experience they can share about such a meeting of the minds? Were you able to make any real connections? Was it fun? Weird? Waste of time? Therapeutic? I really don't know what to expect.

Thanks ahead of time for your input!

To me, being with another aspie felt normal and no different than being with an NT. I may feel different when with them than I would with an NT and I don't know how to describe it and why it feels that way. No I cannot tell if they have an ASD or not and don't find anything different about their body language or eye contact. It's only obvious if someone is on the severe end on the spectrum and that bad off I actually notice something in them. I wouldn't know if their facial expressions are appropriate or their eye contact or body language. They would be asking the wrong person if they asked me about their non verbal communication. I do wonder if an NT would notice anything different about them while i didn't notice. I couldn't notice anything about Temple Grandin when I saw her except for her voice but if I didn't know her nor knew who she was, I wouldn't have known or even guess her sound of voice has something to do with ASD. I think George Bush's voice sounds weird too and some people have thought he has an ASD. That is the only thing I notice about him, his voice. I have had a few experiences where I could see a symptom in them like this one guy I know in my area I have met a few times,I notice it's monotone and there is another guy in my group and he sounds like a robot when he talks but that's only a few people I notice, the rest come off as normal. If they are doing anything ASD, I don't notice it because it looks normal to me.

Thanks for the reply League Girl. I've also been wondering if I'd be able to recognize an Aspie by outward appearance or mannerisms.

So have attending these groups been beneficial for you? If so, how? Thanks!

Okay, I'm officially signed up to go to an Aspie Meet Up group this weekend. Some café in Portland. Again, not sure what to expect, but I'm sort of excited about it now. Wish me luck!

Tell us how it went

To be honest, it was a bit awkward. I was expecting more of a moderated discussion thing, but it turned out to be just a group of people sitting around a table drinking coffee. Most there knew each other from past meetings and they were chatty, but I just kind of sat there and listened, adding a few words here and there. The discussions centered around nerdy stuff like Window 7 versus XP, etc.

Luckily, another dude showed up later who I had more in common with (married, diagnosed later in life, etc). So we had some side conversations which were actually Aspie related.

I had to bolt when the group started talking about religion as it makes me uncomfortable (I have my own private beliefs).

I guess not bad for my first time. I'll probably go to the next meeting.

Fortran - thanks for sharing your experience. It reads like something from which I could benefit. I like the low-key tone, and that it seems you were not pressured to interact and could instead do so at your on pace.

I too would have left when you did. In the workplace I followed the old rule of never discussing 3 things: Sex, Religion, and Politics. I apply that too my life in general, with considered exceptions of course.

A local university near me has an ASD community support program, offering meet-ups, companions, and so on. Your experience emboldens me to look into it further.

Yeah, Marky9, you should check it out. The worst that can happen is that you don't enjoy it. But at least you can say you tried it out.

If meeting other Aspies you may want to discover the answer to two of your probing questions. Are they a real Aspie or a fake Aspie? Are they more of an Aspie than you?

Never worked for me, because there are always clashes in personality and interests. For example, I don't want to listen to a person whose interest is British history or the evolution of meerkats chatter endlessly about their passions, because neither is a thing that interests me. Nor do I want to be around someone with super formal speech since I generally talk really casually, the way most people my age do, and I find other people's odd mannerisms offputting when the worst thing I do is bite my nails.

Of course, if you don't mind spending time with people who may or may not be completely different to you, that's fine.