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onewithstrange
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24 Feb 2014, 10:40 pm

It's getting harder the older I get to stand to be around people. NTs have such exaggerated personalities and make so much of small things. They talk a lot without contributing anything meaningful and are too easily excited. They laugh at the stupidest stuff, too, like crude humor. It's freaking annoying! I feel suffocated by contempt when I'm out of the house. It's hard not feeling smarter or superior to people with such shallow personalities. I don't like feeling this way but I'm at a loss as to what I can do to become more patient or understanding.


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thewrite1
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24 Feb 2014, 11:04 pm

It sounds like you're in a really bad/negative environment. Maybe try going to places/areas you've never been before and try interacting with the NTs there. That way, you can see if it's really 'all NTs in general' that bug you or just the NTs you're forced to deal with on a regular basis. (It could also help with that whole 'building patience' thing.) I can't really help you with the whole 'building patience' thing, though, because having patience is something I struggle with as well--especially in crowds.


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starkid
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24 Feb 2014, 11:20 pm

They have very different personalities than you and/or are at different developmental stages (maturity) regardless of age. That knowledge helped me to become more patient.

I agree with the previous poster, try to find another scene. For the situations you are forced to be in, work out some kind of meditating exercises/mind games for yourself to focus on while in their presence. Or have an ipod or a crossword puzzle or something handy.


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yournamehere
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25 Feb 2014, 6:36 am

Take it easy on yourself. You cannot make those people be something they are not. It is just another coping skill for them. They are getting along the only way they know how. If you want to help them fill up their supply, you can contribute. Maybe you will get lucky, and be a target for abuse. You will not feel soo superior if you let them psychologically bash you for being you, so go ahead, leave an open. See if they mentally attack you, and laugh with superficial dry humor.



MewMewPower
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28 Feb 2014, 1:15 pm

"They laugh at the stupidest stuff, too," yes I agree alot of jokes those NT's makes are not even funny at all and I am always the last one to understand the point of it.



onewithstrange
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01 Mar 2014, 2:12 am

I've realized this thread is saying more about me than them. I've had bad experiences with people growing up, especially people I trusted. But that's not other people's fault.


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01 Mar 2014, 7:45 am

I had some bad experiences growing up, too. The trouble is, no matter how much we tell ourselves there is a reason, and everyone does their best, other people have made choices and acted in ways that hurt us. And unless we think that's ok, acceptance only goes so far. We believe they were wrong, and that that has to, at least a little bit, be someone's fault.

I think having so much bad experience growing up makes it hard not to focus on the bad experiences in the present. Even though there might be a majority of people not being annoying, paying attention to the unkind and petty and annoying people is more familiar, and sadly it is easier than trying to learn to take in what is good.

I think you can learn to take in more of the good that's around you and it will make the bad seem less disturbing, because there's more balance.



Erwin
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01 Apr 2014, 12:31 am

onewithstrange wrote:
It's getting harder the older I get to stand to be around people. NTs have such exaggerated personalities and make so much of small things. They talk a lot without contributing anything meaningful and are too easily excited. They laugh at the stupidest stuff, too, like crude humor. It's freaking annoying! I feel suffocated by contempt when I'm out of the house. It's hard not feeling smarter or superior to people with such shallow personalities. I don't like feeling this way but I'm at a loss as to what I can do to become more patient or understanding.

I wasn't socially awkward until I started taking pills. I was always the pack leader. Didn't see until recently but I always was and still am. I don't see them as shallow anymore now that I know I'm of the legendary dragon race and lived a million years. I can't judge regular mortals, they're exactly as they should be. The pills are a bad idea in either case. Everyone fit in the pack by nature so if someone doesn't, something's very wrong. Autistic people aren't rejected for autism for example. Try to understand mortals if you're one of us specials. Aspergers doesn't exist though.



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01 Apr 2014, 3:20 pm

Seems it has always been this way for me. Growing up as a child, the NT children around me seemed so immature and well childish as well as LOUD and obnoxious. Even their crude attempts at humour were highly annoying. As I grew up it only got worse. I find that many (not all) to be very shallow, self-absorbed, and uncaring creatures. At times even being cruel and not just to me. I see them this way with others as they constantly bully them or act in sadistic ways towards animals and pets. The older I get the less tolerance I have for them. In general I prefer living/being alone. Occasionally in life I have met some that were not this way, or at least not one-on-one. They get in groups and it seems that the average intelligence is inversely proportional to the size of the gathering. Anyone else notice this?



Erwin
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02 Apr 2014, 12:49 am

KB8CWB wrote:
Seems it has always been this way for me. Growing up as a child, the NT children around me seemed so immature and well childish as well as LOUD and obnoxious. Even their crude attempts at humour were highly annoying. As I grew up it only got worse. I find that many (not all) to be very shallow, self-absorbed, and uncaring creatures. At times even being cruel and not just to me. I see them this way with others as they constantly bully them or act in sadistic ways towards animals and pets. The older I get the less tolerance I have for them. In general I prefer living/being alone. Occasionally in life I have met some that were not this way, or at least not one-on-one. They get in groups and it seems that the average intelligence is inversely proportional to the size of the gathering. Anyone else notice this?

They're that way around me because they try to act tough around the alpha. Not that I approve of bullying and such.



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02 Apr 2014, 1:06 am

onewithstrange wrote:
It's getting harder the older I get to stand to be around people. NTs have such exaggerated personalities and make so much of small things. They talk a lot without contributing anything meaningful and are too easily excited. They laugh at the stupidest stuff, too, like crude humor. It's freaking annoying! I feel suffocated by contempt when I'm out of the house. It's hard not feeling smarter or superior to people with such shallow personalities. I don't like feeling this way but I'm at a loss as to what I can do to become more patient or understanding.


Quit telling yourself they are shallow and quit holding them in contempt. It's really that simple. Just because the average person does all of that doesn't mean that he/she doesn't have a complex inner dialogue and has a lot to bring to the table. I'm sure NT's have to tolerate many things that annoy them in their day to day as well.


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Lukecash12
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02 Apr 2014, 1:12 am

onewithstrange wrote:
I've realized this thread is saying more about me than them. I've had bad experiences with people growing up, especially people I trusted. But that's not other people's fault.


And your attitude isn't entirely your fault either. It's all about understanding and confidence, not blame. You've got to work on your default stance with people if you want your time in public to be more pleasant. They certainly aren't going to change, maybe you've got to realize that isn't such a bad thing. If we were to just strip all of the niceties away I'm sure we'd find out soon how stark and hard everything is. People kind of play this mental game where they fight to keep up their mood all day, and we all do this because it's a way to escape basic crises like "what am I doing with my life", "does anyone love me", "why can't I-" etc. Just leave us to our thoughts and we can tend to tear ourselves apart. So maybe the stupid jokes and pointless inanity of it all is really something healthy and necessary for people.


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02 Apr 2014, 2:07 pm

I started feeling a lot better once I moved beyond the belief that in order to be valuable someone has to be social and emotional. To reach this point I had to be pushed too hard to enter unhealthy environments just because it would be more harmonious than to leave and get fed up with it, and find friends who are also uninterested in getting along for the sake of getting along. When you're backed into a corner, it's hard to be considerate.