Guilt over turning down a gettogether with some of my family

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

NYAspie
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 336
Location: Southern Saratoga County, NY

16 Mar 2014, 1:55 pm

This morning, as I had wrapped up my weekly grocery shopping trip, I got a text from my brother-in-law. He said that he had seen me on Foursquare (My profile, if you have it and are interested in following me), and wanted to get together with her wife and (presumably) my nephew at a nearby Panera Bread restaurant (boycott them next month, BTW). I thanked him for the invite, but politely turned him down especially as we'll be seeing each other next Sunday for a family portrait shoot. I've come to feel guilty about it in the interim, and something inside of me says that he might bring it up next weekend. Question here: should I really feel guilty about all this?


_________________
Shoot for the Moon; even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars.


Robdemanc
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,872
Location: England

16 Mar 2014, 2:05 pm

No you should not feel guilty. I never feel guilty about turning down invitations because I know I have done so to avoid stress.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,527
Location: Stalag 13

16 Mar 2014, 2:29 pm

Don't feel guilty. You did what's right for you. 8)


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


NYAspie
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 336
Location: Southern Saratoga County, NY

16 Mar 2014, 9:22 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Don't feel guilty. You did what's right for you. 8)


That's as may be but when I mentioned it to my parents, my Dad thought I had made a selfish decision while my Mom shared your opinion. The initial guilt, such as it is, has since faded.


_________________
Shoot for the Moon; even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars.


CaryGrant
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 21
Location: Birmingham

17 Mar 2014, 5:30 am

ROFLMAO

My best friend asked me to come with her to St Patrick Days celebrations but there were a cou-ple of things

1.) I didn't want to spend the entire day drunk
2.) I needed time to myself
3.) I didn't have much money

And once I decided I wasn't going to go I felt a weight lifted off me mentally.

I don't think NT's will ever understand we need extra time alone compared to them. My friend was angry but I am going to explain to her I need that time alone. Its not that I don't like her or I am avoiding her company its just more important you have time to yourself at the moment and then you can see them at the family portrait feeling mentally recharged.

Remember your own needs are extremely important and you can't be a good friend/sibling/son if you aren't taking care of yourself first and foremost.



Saul3903
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 75

18 Mar 2014, 1:01 am

NYAspie wrote:

That's as may be but when I mentioned it to my parents, my Dad thought I had made a selfish decision while my Mom shared your opinion. The initial guilt, such as it is, has since faded.


This sounds like my family, a bit. My sister is lower-functioning compared to me, and fades in and out socially. I've had times where I was exasperated trying to plan around her social phases, and sometimes that anger has carried over into situations where she didn't deserve it.

And, just like yours, another member of the family always reminds me that she lives her own life and it's her choice how much she wants to make the rest of us a part of it.