I Want to Change My Life But I Don't Know How

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Briareos
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13 Mar 2014, 5:06 pm

the grand summary of things, I'm unhappy with how my life is right now. This spans more than just social skills so some of these topics aren't totally relevant. There is no general discussion about life issues here so I figured this was the best fit.
I could make this a super long post by ranting on each problem, but I'll try to keep this short.

I'm 21, and I still live at home.
Nowadays, that's not uncommon, but I really, really would like to move out of here as soon as possible. Just out of my parents house or even out of the city, I want to move west to BC. If I can't find employment or affordable housing, then I have other locations that I would not mind moving to. Just literally ANYWHERE else besides here!

I have no post secondary education / I'm not in a career or job that I enjoy or even make decent money from.
In January I dropped out of college; I was taking an IT course there. Once we got into the networking stuff I just couldn't keep an interest in the course anymore. This has left me feeling very uncertain with what I want to do as a career.
I was thinking of taking auto mechanics since it's a lot more tactile, and I love cars, or rather the idea of working on cars. I'm still not 100% sure if this is the best career for me though. when I was in high school I also liked making intricate models in Google sketch up and I thoroughly enjoyed my drafting class. Making those technical diagrams with mathematical precision was thoroughly enjoyable to me..

I've already registered for an automotive technician course here at Winnipeg. if I go through with taking the automotive technician course here I would be entered in the apprenticeship program and that would land lock me here for 4 years. The thought of still living here when I'm 25 is highly unpleasant and depressing to me.

I don't/never have had a girlfriend.
everybody wants a life partner, but it really depresses me that I've never had a girlfriend. I feel like everything I do is happening later than it should compared to everyone else. More so....
I have difficulty/low confidence talking to girls
when I get stressed, anxious, nervous, or upset, I get brain fog. When I get brain fog, I become mute. I don't know to say, and I can't decide on what to say. It feels very difficult to find things to talk about. Verbal communication on its own is already a challenge for me, but trying to talk to someone that I like? It feels like the hardest thing for me to do.
I also suspect I might have a bit of a low self image complex. I'd probably feel better if I had a job I enjoyed or at the very least payed well, and was living independently from my parents. I might not even mind living with my parents I just had a good paying job.

I have no friends
If I don’t share a common interest with somebody, I find it hard to maintain a conversation with that person. I can’t share a common interest with someone, I stop talking to that person. Eventually we stop being friends. More so, I don't even know where to look for friends anymore. people around here like to snowboard more than they like to ski, and gearheads aren't exactly popping out of the woodwork either.

So those are pretty much my main issues. It troubles me so much that I don't know what to do...



auntblabby
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13 Mar 2014, 9:12 pm

sometimes a chance of scenery is just what the pdoctor ordered. for me, it was taking a deep breath, holding my nose, and jumping into the army. it taught me what I did NOT want out of life, and that is half the battle of finding out what you DO want out of life.



Briareos
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13 Mar 2014, 10:57 pm

auntblabby wrote:
sometimes a chance of scenery is just what the pdoctor ordered. for me, it was taking a deep breath, holding my nose, and jumping into the army. it taught me what I did NOT want out of life, and that is half the battle of finding out what you DO want out of life.


yeah, I feel like while I live here I'm holding onto some negative behaviors or thought patternsfrom my past. You know that feeling, when you feel like you're out of place

Also sorry, that turned into a bit of a blog post. I needed to vent I guess.



auntblabby
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13 Mar 2014, 11:22 pm

Briareos wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
sometimes a chance of scenery is just what the pdoctor ordered. for me, it was taking a deep breath, holding my nose, and jumping into the army. it taught me what I did NOT want out of life, and that is half the battle of finding out what you DO want out of life.


yeah, I feel like while I live here I'm holding onto some negative behaviors or thought patternsfrom my past. You know that feeling, when you feel like you're out of place

Also sorry, that turned into a bit of a blog post. I needed to vent I guess.

I have found WP is a good place to express what is on one's mind. it is good that you vented. I see venting as clearing out enough space in the mind so that you can better make sense of what has to be done. it is like a part of mental house cleaning or mental hygiene. but the change of scenery is very important.



zer0netgain
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14 Mar 2014, 10:04 am

I'm 21, and I still live at home.

I'm 45. Moved back in with parents (admittedly) to save money, but it seems like getting out without a darn good paying job is not happening anytime soon.

I have no post secondary education / I'm not in a career or job that I enjoy or even make decent money from.

I have a B.A. and J.D. degree and am working in a job that doesn't even need a high school diploma or GED to do. I've not yet gotten a job that really requires a B.A. degree and my J.D. is like a millstone around my neck when I go looking for work.

And I'm over $100,000 in debt with student loans that I pretty much will never be able to repay.

I don't/never have had a girlfriend.

Join the club. I'd be happy just to have at least one person I could hang with on a regular basis.

I have no friends

I have a friend, but even though he lives in the same area, we hardly get time to spend with one another.



Do I win a prize?



Briareos
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22 Mar 2014, 12:03 am

zer0netgain wrote:
I'm 21, and I still live at home.

I'm 45. Moved back in with parents (admittedly) to save money, but it seems like getting out without a darn good paying job is not happening anytime soon.

I have no post secondary education / I'm not in a career or job that I enjoy or even make decent money from.

I have a B.A. and J.D. degree and am working in a job that doesn't even need a high school diploma or GED to do. I've not yet gotten a job that really requires a B.A. degree and my J.D. is like a millstone around my neck when I go looking for work.

And I'm over $100,000 in debt with student loans that I pretty much will never be able to repay.

I don't/never have had a girlfriend.

Join the club. I'd be happy just to have at least one person I could hang with on a regular basis.

I have no friends

I have a friend, but even though he lives in the same area, we hardly get time to spend with one another.



Do I win a prize?

I can't really complain too much I guess. I mean, there are at least willing to support me while I continue to find my own path. I just wish for a little better sense of independence I guess and having my own place would accomplish that.

I at least have high school finished, and though dropping out of that IT course was a shameful waste of money to me, I'm happily not indebted to any student loans; I just unfortunately did not put my grandparents RESP to good use. The only debt I have is on my credit card and that's only $400 which I can easily pay off over the course of this summer. I'll also be trying my hands at becoming an automotive service technician since I do have a fond interest in cars.

That's just the thing, I really don't want to. That's why right now I'm really working hard to change both my self image through mental and physical exercise, and my social attitude towards people. By that last point I mean how I view people and how people view me.
I don't want this decade of my life to be wasteful, as I already feel like I'm 2 to 3 steps behind the average person.

I do have an old friend from middle school I keep in touch with, but I feel like we have both changed in such a dramatic way that we don't have many common interests anymore.

as for prizes, really can't think of any appropriate things to give, nor can I offer anything



Last edited by Briareos on 23 Mar 2014, 6:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

KWifler
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22 Mar 2014, 11:53 pm

I think you might be doing alright actually. I hope things get better for you though, if that's what you try for.
Maybe you are just being a little bit impatient? I know I am. I want it all, too.
Writing about your frustrations has just brought you one step closer to your solution.


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Briareos
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23 Mar 2014, 6:39 pm

KWifler wrote:
I think you might be doing alright actually. I hope things get better for you though, if that's what you try for.
Maybe you are just being a little bit impatient? I know I am. I want it all, too.
Writing about your frustrations has just brought you one step closer to your solution.
possibly; I just feel like my life is starting a couple years later then most average people. I mean, a lot of people have already figured out what it is they want to do as a lifelong career or have at least a steady income. That may not be the case for everyone, but I'm just talking about those who actually have their stuff together. This is the peak of my life and I want to make it as productive as possible.

Yeah, I really should keep a journal/blog. I always feel better once I vent about whatever is bugging me because I can move on afterwards.